You know how when we present our dilemma to a friend and they launch one solution, one brilliant idea after another our way and we barely even listen? And even if we do, we can find something wrong with every solution offered and argue for our dilemma.
Why do we do that?
You know what I’m talkin’ about. We argue FOR that thing that is driving us bat-shit nuts with the skill and tenacity of a fucking Supreme Court Judge.
“Well, yeah, but that takes money and I can’t afford it.”
“Well, yeah, but I can’t just leave.”
“Well, yeah, but when I walk on it, it hurts.”
Overruled! You are all overruled! I want to stay stuck and miserable; mired in my miasma of muck. (Holy alliteration!)
I think I’ll call it MY YEAH BUT HABIT.
Listen, we even use this tactic when things are going well—WTF?!
You got a promotion! “Yeah, but I didn’t get more vacation days.”
You got a raise! “Yeah, but, not as much as I wanted.”
A baby boy! Congratulations! “Yeah, but, I really thought we were having girl, and everybody says boys are tough, and he doesn’t let us sleep for a minute.”
What’s with that you guys?
Do we like to complain? (I know someone who thinks that complaining is the force that keeps us all alive. Seriously.)
Do we like to hear ourselves speak? (yes, yes I do)
Is unhappiness and dissatisfaction a habit? (yeah, but, I REALLY don’t know why).
Do our dilemmas get us attention? (Similar to publicly—there is no bad attention)
Here’s a thought.
What if we used that skill all the time? Like an equal opportunity Yeah but. Like this:
Oh, that’s a nasty dent is your fender; “Yeah, but, I’m lucky that’s all that happened.”
There are a lot of people applying for that position. “Yeah, but, my resume is stellar, I have tons of experience, and they’d be lucky to have me.”
Wow, he left you? “Yeah, but, if I’m honest with myself things have been lousy between us for a while, and now that the ball is rolling we can figure things out and move on with our lives.”
I know. That ones a streeeeeeeech. (but we could do it)
Then how about this one? Let’s all try to be more aware when we’re arguing FOR the muck we’re mired in.
It is BEYOND limiting!
Once and for all, lets all get off our Yeah butts.
Carry on,
xox
