I’m sitting in my den watching the news when the phone rings. Someone I love wants to be soothed. By me. I feel ill-prepared which always leads to me shoveling raw cookie dough.
By far the question most asked of me on week one of the pandemic was was :
“Are we going to be okay?”
The uncomplicated answer was…
“Yes. But, I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, and I don’t know what that’s gonna look like.”
Silence.
Some people who weren’t already crying started. The ones who were crying continued. That’s what happens when you ask a question you can’t imagine the answer to. You hear something you may not like, or even worse—be emotionally prepared for.
I suggest not giving anyone, even me, that power.
I believe in deferring to the experts. My gut and my heart.
And I’m not gonna lie, even they had a hard time finding the truth inside all of the fear, adrenaline and cortisol coursing through me that first week. I mean, they told me I would be okay even if I got sick and died. But no matter how much you believe it in theory, that’s not something you want to put into practice— and it’s certainly not a truth you pass onto your friends when they text or call.
So I didn’t.
“Are we going to be okay?” They asked.
“Yes.” I simply said. “Yes, we will.” No further explanation offered. That’s when the crying stopped.
Weeks two and three: Shit gets real.
I’m making cookies for the neighborhood. I’m answering the unasked request for cookies that came to me in a dream.
It’s barely 8 am.
A friend is talking to me on speaker-phone. “I had to delete some of my fears, she says. “I just don’t have the room for them in my head anymore!” She exclaims over the sound of my mixer. “They’ve been replaced by bigger, life or death ones now.”
Which got me to thinking; I’m sorry if I’m a bit indelicate here but don’t the things that triggered you previous to the pandemic (a sentence I never imagined writing) don’t they seem, well, ludicrous?
I mean, come on, hasn’t this put all of our pre-pandemic fears (which I won’t list here for fear of embarrassing us) into perspective?
Listen, I think we can all agree, global shaking of the Etch-A-Sketch on this level hopefully only happens once in a lifetime, and since no one can tell us for sure what the future will look like, our fears have an unbelievably limited job description these days:
Kill the virus. Do I have enough toilet paper?
And all the Karens of the world with their free-range outrage, doesn’t what you were on hold to complain to customer service about only one short month ago seem ridiculous?
People are scared, Karens.
People are dying.
People are lonely.
People are worried and hungry and need more masks, and gowns and hand sanitizer!
For the love of God, Karens, make yourselves useful, rage on that!
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Week four: Adaptability.
I’m waking up…happy. What. The. Fuck.
Who am I to be happy amid all of this death, uncertainty, and sorrow? I go immediately to the place in my brain to shut that shit down when I get stopped by curiosity. How did this happen? Three weeks ago I was waking up terrified. Am I suddenly brave? uh, no.
You know why? Because human beings are incredible creatures.
First, we freak out, cry, hide, or run. Then we adapt.
Eventually, we fall into a “new normal” because it’s how our brains are wired and seriously, what other choice do we have?
Because I’ve never witnessed a “disturbance of the force” of this magnitude I’ve also never seen this level of adaptability.
It’s mind blowing. It takes my breath away.
The creatives are back to creating.
The inventors are hard at work, as are the big thinkers and the innovators.
Zoom is connecting us in ways that were incomprehensible six months ago.
Easter services were streamed online. Andrea Bocelli sang Amazing Grace in an empty cathedral in Milan and we all saw it. Same with the Pope holding mass in St. Peter’s.
At seven PM every evening entire cities gather at their windows to cheer doctors as they change shifts.
Food is still being delivered to school kids in need.
Classes continue for most students online.
My husband’s Dermo was able to diagnose his hives over the phone via a video chat.
My doctor sent me a similar link.
People are holding happy hours on Zoom. There are video yoga classes, video meditation, video AA and mental health care. The list goes on and on and on.
Ben Affleck held a video poker game for charity.
Chris Martin and John Legend to name a few, have held video concerts.
Birthday caravans drive neighborhood streets with kids and balloons and singing.
The farmers market and local bakery in my sister’s neighborhood are offering $25 and $40 boxes of veggies and baked goods a couple of times a week and donating the rest.
Adaptation—the ability to change with new conditions. To change you’re expectations and pivot.
It looks to me like we’re all starting to get the hang of this.
Who knows what the following weeks will bring?
Carry on and stay well my friends,
xox
