Universe

We both noticed it. My husband and I.

There was one lonely sheet of double ply Brawny paper towel on the butcher block in the center of the kitchen, when we got up this morning.
I thought it was left over from some boxer-shark puppy calamity that he’d cleaned up, and I’m sure he thought the same.

Neither was true.

It just laid there, like a blank slate, ready for a mess.

Five minutes later when he was bringing me my coffee, (cue the sappy music and the Husband of the Year Award) it sloshed up and over the side of the cup, leaving a little trail to the TV room, where I sit in the morning, posting this blog.
Now the handy dandy paper towel that was nearby, primed and ready, waiting for a spill, was finally put to use.

Often, the Universe leaves us clues of what’s to come.

The other day, I noticed a rogue Band Aid on the bathroom counter. 
Hmmmmm. How’d THAT get there?
It came in handy when my groovy shoes gave me blisters from hell later that afternoon.

I love the concept that the Universe, like a helicopter parent, is waiting there with a Kleenex before we even sneeze.

I, for one, welcome the help.

I can think of SO many of these. Can you?

You’ve probably never tried.

Do it! 
It’s fun. Close your eyes and think a minute about the little clues that you’ve received, out of the blue.
When has the Universe placed something right in your path that was exactly what you needed. You probably won’t have to think long, these things tend to make an impression.

Tell me, I’d love to hear your story!

Xox

“Believing in yourself is an endless destination. Believing you have failed is the end of the journey.”
– Anon

The Universe is a self correcting force. It is always aimed toward the highest good. The only things that can make it deviate from this trajectory are fear, anger and guilt.
The freaking Trifecta of Punishment, the Grand Slam of Self Sabotage, The Catholic/ Jewish/ Italian/ Triple Crown.

I hate to break it to ya,
The Universe doesn’t judge, it doesn’t hold a grudge or believe in mistakes or failures. We can count on ourselves for that.
Every time we fall on our faces, the Universe is waiting patiently for us to get up, brush ourselves off, and stop complaining. It knows there is always the opportunity to self correct. There is always tomorrow.
Believe this, and it is the key to your freedom. Don’t; and it will feel like hell.

Note to self: The Ego gives shitty advise.
While the Ego talks you into doing that thing that “seems like a good idea at the time” or “what everyone else is doing”, the Universe takes a comfortable seat and waits for the finale. This is not its first rodeo.
It knows it may take a while, so it brings Sudoku and it’s knitting.
When things inevitably fall apart, because they are built on the quicksand that the Ego provides, the Universe NEVER says “I told you so.”
The Ego ALWAYS does. AFTER it tells you you are a pathetic, no good, loser.
That’s when the anger and self hatred kick in.
Those are the Ego’s henchmen. The Universe doesn’t take their calls.

Since the Universe is self correcting, it will plot another course for your success.
Just like your GPS does when you don’t listen and take the “short cuts.”
While you’re waiting, it’s easy to lose your faith. You’ve mucked it up and things could not look worse. If you stay centered in the present and field every hunch and idea for the future, no matter how crazy or far fetched they may seem, the Universe will deliver the goods. If you fall prey to the Trifecta, she’ll wait……and correct again.

Marianne Williamson likens faith to a pilot making an approach to the airport in heavy fog. He has to trust his instruments to “see” for him and land the plane.
I love that analogy.
You can’t see radio waves, yet you know they exist. The same with gravity.
Even if you can’t see your way to success, or love NOW, there is a bigger picture in which it exists.
Have faith. The Universe will appear like a freakin’ Ninja Navy Seal. It was there all along, crouched in the shadows, just waiting for the right time, you just weren’t aware of it. It’s that stealth. 
And it’s coming in to kick some Ego ass.

Have you fallen prey to the Trifecta? Do you have a Universal Reboot story? I’d love to hear it! Let me know in the comments below.

Xox

I like to clear the air.
Literally and Energetically.
I like to have all the windows open when weather permits, with cross ventilation and a breeze. I can smell the difference in a room. No more stuffy, stale dog farts hanging in the air.

It also FEELS transformed. Like all the molecules have played musical chairs, and have repositioned themselves; and the nasty ones have left the room.

I usually take this a step further and burn Nagchampa incense. I must admit right here and now, that I have a thing for incense.
It really sends me. I blame my Catholic upbringing. When the smoke from that rich Frankincense would envelope me during Mass, my eyes would roll back in my head, and I’d be GONE.
Anyway…My original meditation teacher from back-in-the-day turned me onto Nagchampa. It is widely used in yoga, and meditation, to helps create a sacred space. For centuries in India it has been used for cleansing and purging areas of negativity & unwanted spirits and energy. Who doesn’t need some of that?
It is the smell you are likely smelling in every Yoga studio, meditation class and New Age bookstore. And here is why: Nagchampa incense has several benefits. It has a natural sedative effect and will help to unwind your body. It consist of sandalwood which is a strong calming agent and is said to have a high spiritual vibration and aid in calming the restless mind.
Which makes it my best friend and my go to energy unwinder.
If it’s too early for wine, I burn some Nagchampa.

I’m also a big believer in burning white sage.
I KNOW it changes the energy of a room or a person.
The American Indians call it “smudging”. It comes in bundles at any health food store, and has two distinct properties:
1) It is a bitch to keep burning. I’ve heard all the tricks, it’s not dry enough, blah, blah, blah. You either get a bundle that sets off every smoke alarm or one that won’t stay lit.
The benefits are totally worth it; just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
2) It smells suspiciously like pot.
If you smudge your place of business, and any of the smoke lingers, you will get those “knowing” smiles.
My sister and I burned sage so much when my nephew was young, we joked that when he became a teenager and went to his first rock concert, he would wonder to himself (silently we prayed) “Who’s burning the sage?”
I’ve saged every new apartment and house I’ve lived in since I was 19.
You start with the doorways, windows and hallways. Make sure the smoke reaches the ceiling, and just trace the outline of each room, paying attention to the corners.
High traffic areas are a must. Bedrooms are essential. Then I concentrate on any place where a fight or even snarky words have occurred. That is pretty much every square inch of my living space. And since I can be the Queen of Snark, I sage the shit out of myself. I just follow the outline of my body, paying special attention 
to. my. mouth.
All kidding aside, saging someone who is or has been going through emotional crisis can be very healing.

Clearing the emotion off of objects is a different story.
When I worked with antique jewelry, I handled every piece that came through our store, especially in the early days. 
I would clean it, price it, and enter its description in our inventory. Last but not least, I would display it.
Occasionally, I would pick up a piece and it would reek of sadness.
Or anger.
Or both.
Stones, especially diamonds are huge energy absorbers and transmitters.
Think of a crystal radio.
The two methods I know to clear the energy and bring a piece of jewelry back to just metal and stones, are to bury it in dirt or submerge in saltwater for three days.
Get a dedicated pot of dirt if that’s the method you choose. And be wary of squirrels. I’m not kidding.
Back in those early days we had a saltwater fish tank in the store and on any given day you could walk by and see 8-10 pieces of jewelry hanging by their tags in the tank.
My boss would roll his eyes so hard I thought he was going to do a backflip.

I also kept a laminated chart, hidden under my desk blotter, of gemstones and their energetic properties. He was convinced I was nuts and that my “woo woo” techniques were bullshit…until a customer would ask a question about the energy of a diamond, or what healing qualities an amethyst possessed.
As the end of the 20th century approached, it became a regular occurrence.
We catered to celebrities. Celebrities believe this stuff.
In order to make a sale, I would overhear him:
“We have a chart that can answer your question” or 
“We can put that ring in our fish tank and you can pick it up Friday.”
I loved that he said “We.” Ha!
I had no idea he had been paying attention.
I think he may have even started to believe.
At least he didn’t roll his eyes anymore.
Listen, I wasn’t out to convert anyone, but I think it may have just been absorbed through osmosis.

Ah, who am I kidding, he probably has a drawer full of Nagchampa at home, and a dedicated pot of dirt.

XoxJanet

I have a member of my family that is also a good friend.
I know that is about as rare as a Yeti sighting, but it does happen!

P. (not her real name, but a tantalizing clue) had an extended stay over the holidays and that allowed us to have a long, uninterrupted lunch.
Lots of girl talk, lots of gossip, lots of coffee, all the usual suspects.
Toward the end of lunch, P. (Have you figured it out yet)? did seek my counsel on some issues in her life, and after 2+ cups of coffee and an ice tea! I was circling the earth, so I was that much closer to heaven…and happy to oblige.

You see, I’ve known P. for 100 years…since we were girls.
As adult women, (eh) we’ve had many a late night bitch session over the phone, about crappy boyfriends, and difficult coworkers.

Once, when we were talking at about 12:30am about some schmuck that had stood me up that night, we were interrupted by my call waiting. Remember call waiting?

Anyway, of course it was him, and he was explaining how something had “come up”, but that now he was on the Freeway, and my exit was coming up, and could he “drop by”?
I was full of Cabernet courage, so I let loose with all of the things P. and I had been rehearsing for 2 hours.

How I wanted to be his “destination”, not just a “drop by, bootie call” at 12:30 in the morning. I also said that: “Not only were he and I not on the same page, we weren’t even in the same book”! 
He laughed…I hung up.

Then I switched back over to P. who had waited on the other line.
We howled with laughter at his audacity and the fact that I had actually said: “I want to be your destination”!! Baaahhhaaaa!
Hey…Wait a minute…That’s a great line! 

You can steal it.

Needless to say, THAT’S how close we are.

P. rocks at manifesting great jobs in her chosen profession, which is….( I can’t tell you, I’ll have to kill you).
Relationships…not so much.
This is all going to become relevant at the end, so take notes.

My advice to her, was to wake up and have Gratitude.
Start saying “Thank you” to the Universe, the minute you get up, even if you have to search for something to be grateful for.
Like your pillow,
Naturally curly hair,
Breathing,
A toaster to toast your toast.
Your yoga mat
A hot shower.
You get the picture.

Focus on what’s right with your life, not what’s wrong.

See, what happens is, when you go through your day offering Gratitude,
either things start to change….or you start to not care! Ha!
Plus as an added bonus, the Universe gives you more things to be grateful for.
Gotta love that!

I suggested she try it for a month.

Yesterday she called me beyond excited, she was having the most financially ridiculous couple of weeks she’d ever had at work. Clients were just throwing money at her! Large sums too!
They were easy, uncomplicated sales, which was not the norm.
They weren’t even disputing the shipping charges! WHAT?!
She was feeling both gobsmacked and flabbergasted! (Don’t you just LOVE those words)!
Me too!

Then it occurred to her that the only thing that had changed in her life was the Gratitude exercise, and she had to call me.

One last thing to mention.
When you do this alchemy with the energy of Gratitude, the magic finds the path of least resistance… The carpool lane.
It finds the quickest, easiest path to you.

With P., it’s her work. That’s the place that will always shift for HER first, because it doesn’t feel all pointy to her, like relationships do.

I’m holding out hope that the next call from P. will be from the wedding chapel in 
Vegas!

Can you figure out YOUR path of least resistance?
XoxJanet

So, if you’re like me, I’ve spent years waiting for certain things to happen, only to ring in another year, and alas…that thing I want is annoyingly absent.

Now we all understand at this stage of the game how the Universe works, right?

Sometimes I need a reminder, so here’s a very abbreviated refresher course:
1) You have a desire. It can be anything, from a new car, to bigger boobs, to improved health.
The Universe doesn’t judge, so you shouldn’t either, just sayin’.
2) The Universe complies. End of story.

So why all the suffering? Why don’t we all get what we think we want?
Here’s why…
3) Stay out of the way.
Shit!
That one gets me every time!

Here’s a reminder that I always repeat to myself when I want to pull my hair out:

I ask the Universe for something, they say “Yes”!
I ask the Universe for something, they say “Not right now”.
I ask the Universe for something, they say “No…I have something better for you”.

Damn! That sounds awesome and simple, and it is!
But simple doesn’t mean easy!

You know why?
Because we can’t keep our big noses out of the Universe’s business!
When it says “not right now” we scream, “why not”!
We have to keep opening the oven, so to speak, to see if it’s cooked, and you know what that does? It slows down the process! Or worse yet, it makes the soufflé drop.
It shows that we don’t really trust the Universe to get it done, and the Universe can’t stand a Doubting Thomas. Sorry, but it’s the truth.

There is a timetable we are not privy to, a point where all the stars align.
If you monitor it, and micro manage it, constantly checking the progress,
the miracles that need to occur to help it along will never happen!
They can’t when we’re watching.
It only happens when our heads are turned, or we fall asleep…kinda like the tooth fairy or Santa Claus.

Another thing we do…we confuse the energy by asking for one thing, but doing the exact opposite.
You can’t say you want your life to change, when you continue to do everything the same.
It just doesn’t work that way.
Do you know how confusing that is for the Universe? It’s like a computer.
If you put in a command and then continue to hit “Control, Alt, Delete”, you’re not going to get anything! You will be stalled, sitting in the traffic of your mixed signals.

I remember realizing that, when I decided I wanted to meet a man and get married. I knew I had to circulate in the world…better yet, I had to date! I couldn’t just sit in my pajamas on Saturday nights, or continue to have occasional sex with an ex, and I definitely couldn’t say to everyone that I was skeptical that true love really existed. The miracles couldn’t happen if I wasn’t willing to show up and be clear about wanting a husband!

When it says ” I have something better for you” we scream “how could you?!”
You know how? The Universe dreams bigger than we do.
So we have to be happy waiting for the big reveal,
where…we…stand.
It is just the platform where we launch ourselves toward our desired goal, then the Universe takes it from there!

Well, that’s impossible!
How can you be happy being sick, when wellness is nowhere in sight?
Or single, when the loneliness is palpable?
Or broke, when your unemployment runs out,
Or chubby, when you just broke another zipper?
Happy?! Really?
Yes.

Because the miracles can’t find you if you stay in the energy of the suffering.
They can only meet you if you can get to the corner of happiness and acceptance.

Just like driving a motorcycle or car.
If you fixate on an obstacle you WILL hit it!
You have to look in the direction you WANT to go. Counterintuitive but true.

That means getting out and dating, and actually having fun.
Or wearing the new blue dress that’s not a size 6, and knowing you look pretty.
It means splurging on a manicure, because it makes you feel good, and you know the money will come.
Or taking a shower and shaving for the first time since your last chemo, finally washing away the smell of hospital.

THEN, you can start to conjure the feelings of happiness and relief that the money, or love, or healing would bring.
Pretend if you have to, use your imagination!

Remember, simple, not easy.

And that goes for illness, bad relationships, jobs, weight, EVERYTHING!
Practice this, and you’re on your way to making room for all those miracles!
I’m right there with you.
XoxJanet

The Universe will never attend your Pity Party.
You can give it the best seat…next to Oprah
and it still won’t show!

Take it from me,
I’ve sent out many an invitation to
God, the Universe, Source energy,
and whatever name I put on the place card …still a no-show!

And you know why??
Here’s why.
It’s not being rude,
It isn’t ignoring you,
It doesn’t have tickets to “Book of Mormon”.
It’s doing you a favor!

That’s right!
The Universe is privy to the bigger picture of our lives.
And It knows This too shall pass.
It doesn’t get down in the trenches with us,
No matter how much we beg,
Or plead our case.
“Come on Universe!!! You know that wasn’t right!!

That’s what best friends are for,
To commiserate with us on bad bosses and
Unfair situations, and men who are scoundrels.

The Universe is like Switzerland, it remains annoyingly neutral.
Because when it does that, it holds our place at the solution.

It waits right there while we bitch and moan,
Feel sorry for ourselves,
Cut our own bangs,
Eat frosting out of the can,
And and drink and dial.

Once the pity party winds down though,
The Universe comes in with the hefty trash bags
And the 409 and helps us clean up.

But you know what I really love…
It never says “I told you so”.

XoxJanet

“I’ve come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call “The Physics of The Quest” — a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: “If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself… then truth will not be withheld from you.” Or so I’ve come to believe.”

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love