thankful

Thank you ancient Chinese woman who is taking an eternity to cross the street.

There is no doubt in my mind that you will celebrate your 102nd birthday in the crosswalk—while we all watch and wait.

I’m tempted to buy a cake and balloons—but I’m pretty sure your resolve to get to the other side of the street is such that you wouldn’t even notice, and I don’t want an entire uneaten cake sitting around my house taunting me.

You see I’m in a big, hairy hurry today and you have forced me to slow down, no make that stop, and cool my jets.

You’ve probably saved my life. Maybe there was a car accident up ahead with my name on it—so thank you.

No, really.
I want to scream at you or nudge you with my car, after all, it’s been over seven minutes and you’re not even half-way across—but I too possess feet that barely walk anymore—a conscience—and I want to go to heaven when I die—where I will wait for you—because you’ll still be crossing this fucking street!

A man tried to help you and you waved him off, so I’ve turned off my engine—we all have. We’re treating this like a train crossing.

But really, thank you oh ancient one, for giving me hope that I will still be getting around and holding up traffic at rush hour (that term is a cruel joke) when I am your age. I can only aspire.

By the way, where are you headed? Where did you come from? What’s your story? Why are you walking? What—no Uber for you?

And seriously, you have the tiniest feet I’ve ever seen on someone over six months old.
How do they hold you up? And I’m not sure about the little black Mary Jane’s over white socks.
They look like doll shoes. As a matter of fact the more I look at them the more certain I am that there is a barefoot doll lurking somewhere in Chinatown.
I would have chosen something more…sensible. Perhaps a cross-trainer. Just sayin’.

Here’s the thing, with all this time on my hands I’ve had a chance to look you over, after all I’m the first car at the crosswalk and you’ve been crossing in front of me for the better part of, well, a damn long time!

奶奶 Nǎinai (That’s grandma in Chinese, I had time to google it).
I like your pointy hat. Although a straw Chinese hat borders on cliché and would not have been MY first choice, I like how it ties under your chin with a red string and shades your entire face. I can see that you go for substance over style. Classics only, no fads for you. Good job.

And Oh My God, can we talk about that face for a minute?
It is the color of latte (which reminds me, I haven’t had my coffee yet—fasting blood test) and is so wizened that it appears that your lines have lines, tributaries that traverse your entire face from the corners of your eyes to your chin. (I can’t see the rest—pointy hat is in the way).

Okay then, gauging from your progress so far, (sitting through four light changes), I’ll have plenty of time to finish this post AND check my emails.

I typically don’t check them while I’m driving, but I can see them flash across the screen when they come in—and of course two that I’ve been waiting days to see, have shown up at the moment I’m least able to reply.

Six hours at the computer—nothing.

Get in the car—every email I’ve ever needed to read, all the answers to all of my questions bling into my awareness—while I’m fucking driving and my hands are tied! (Sorry, remember I haven’t had my coffee and I’m a pint low on blood.)

So thank you ancient Chinese Nǎinai, I’m all caught up now.

I have also finished my taxes, filed a broken nail, plucked my eyebrows in the rearview mirror, and cleaned out my wallet.

Well, look at that! It seems that you are suddenly finished, (you took that curb like a champ)… and I already miss you.

Thank you for all of your life lessons today. You have taught me so much!

You slowed me down. You showed me you can live a perfectly lovely life at another speed besides TURBO.

You attempted to teach me patience, empathy and compassion. (You were successful on two out of three.)

You showed me what wise, ripe, old age can look like. And power. You showed me you have the power to stop traffic.

You schooled me in the millinery arts.

And you made me fall just a little bit in love with you.

So now, the twenty or so of us that have gathered and waited (without honking by the way), for you to cross the street, we have to race away and try to make up the time we’ve lost.

But I’m going to think of you today, traveling at your glacial pace, and wonder how you are and if you ever made it to your destination.

Who am I kidding? I will be waiting for you in heaven!

Carry on,
xox

I’m kinda loving life right now, and I’m proudly, and publicly unapologetic.

Here are just a few of the things that fill me with appreciation.

My health

My hubby (he’s a saint)

I’m at a quandary here, I don’t want to put my beloved dogs before my husband, or after my family…they ARE family, so..
My family (which includes my dogs)

My amazing friends (old and new)

Writing (non-fiction, fiction, essays, the whole caboodle)

My morning walks and hikes with Sally (some of them, the ones that don’t hurt)

Christmas carols (belongs in my Hall of Fame)

Diamonds (they are my best friends)

The fact that I live in Los Angles California, USA.

The fact that I can write this blog without fear of reprisals or repercussions (except maybe occasional embarrassment)

Chocolate (I know it’s high on the list, don’t judge)

Our motorcycle trips

Being inspired (by people, what I read or see or taste or…)

Singing (Karaoke with Orna)

Coffee

The smell of Christmas trees, pine scented anything

Driftwood

Laughing, humor, being silly

False eyelashes (I’m obsessed)

Airplane travel – all travel really

Red nail polish, well…all nail polish

Movies (at the theatre, I love the surround sound and the big screen)

Rainy days

Fires in the fireplace

Hummingbird nests

The color blue

Peanut butter (chunky of course)

Lazy Sunday afternoons reading (just a memory these days)

My garden (nature in general)

White twinkle lights

Tears of joy

The smell in the house on Thanksgiving or any time Raphael cooks

I’d love you to share some of yours! Come on! Be as un-cool as me!

Xox

Hi Loves,

I was lucky enough to be in San Jose this weekend for the last stop of the Life You Want Tour and I gotta say; it was a privilege to breathe the same air as Oprah and all the great teachers that spoke, told stories and brought us to tears…every time.
I’m still processing. I’m sure I’ll write some take-aways soon.

Below is what Elizabeth Gilbert (my new BFF) wrote about her incredible journey. I’m sure if you’d have told this author a few years ago that she would be giving 45 minute inspirational talks to auditoriums of over 10,000 people in 8 different cites across the US she would have thought you were crazy!
Yet, that’s become her latest accomplishment – touring with Oprah.

Dream big, then surrender, because the Universe has even bigger dreams for you than you could ever imagine.
xoxJ

*Thank you to my beloved sister Susan for making this weekend happen and keeping me laughing the ENTIRE time…even through tears. I love you.

Take it away Liz-

DON’T WASTE THE TEACHINGS…

ONWARD!
LG

Another God wink
My sister took this picture of Liz and me in the lobby of our hotel on Friday afternoon while everyone was milling around waiting for the event to start. I, as usual, was foraging for food…and then there she was. We hugged – a lot (she’s a hugger) and talked, and I must say, she is as incredibly kind and down to earth a person as you will EVER meet.

xox

Intimacy
I invite you to read the word “intimacy” as “into-me-see.” We create intimacy with others when we allow ourselves to be seen.
~Christine Hassler~

Who sees you clearer than your friends?
Not the acquaintance at the office, or the barista who makes your coffee every morning.
No.
Your REAL friends. The ones that you can’t even remember not knowing.
The ones that GET you. I mean get you, in the deepest, most soul stirring, tear jerking way.
They know every hair style you’ve ever had, and they told you you rocked it.
But, they wouldn’t let you leave the house in those God awful green pants.
They are brave enough to tell you he’s not good enough for you, and almost more thrilled than you are, when you find someone who is.
You’ve had dinners where you’ve talked until the candles burned down, and New Years Eve’s that were hilarious disasters and days on vacation that were magical. Those experiences are etched with a permanent groove in your brain and make you weepy when you replay them.

Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone – and finding that that’s ok with them.
~anonymous~

They are on your speed dial (now speed text) for those three in the morning, pillow punching, holy shit, “will you just talk to me until I fall asleep” nights.
You’ve shared clothes, bathing suits, a toothbrush in a pinch, recipes, even candid details of the fight you had with your mom on her birthday, or the bad sex you had with that someone who you thought was “the one.”
You hold hands at funerals, weddings, baby showers and the Sunday farmers market.
When they lost the baby, you were there, to hold their hand. When they had the baby, you were in the room, to hold their legs.
When you’re an ass, they feed you, because they know how you get when you’re hungry.
When they hurt, you hurt.
When you laugh, they laugh louder, and longer, which makes wine come out your nose.

In-to-me-see is earned.
It is doled out judiciously. We are not transparent to the casual observer. Not to the blabber mouth or the revealer of secrets.
This kind of friendship, this kind of bond feels ancient and epic, almost older than time.
We carry it wherever we go, even into death.

Cherish these people. Hold them close to your heart, no matter how far away they may be. They’ll feel it. Then consider yourselves lucky to be accepted and loved that way.

Xox

I have a member of my family that is also a good friend.
I know that is about as rare as a Yeti sighting, but it does happen!

P. (not her real name, but a tantalizing clue) had an extended stay over the holidays and that allowed us to have a long, uninterrupted lunch.
Lots of girl talk, lots of gossip, lots of coffee, all the usual suspects.
Toward the end of lunch, P. (Have you figured it out yet)? did seek my counsel on some issues in her life, and after 2+ cups of coffee and an ice tea! I was circling the earth, so I was that much closer to heaven…and happy to oblige.

You see, I’ve known P. for 100 years…since we were girls.
As adult women, (eh) we’ve had many a late night bitch session over the phone, about crappy boyfriends, and difficult coworkers.

Once, when we were talking at about 12:30am about some schmuck that had stood me up that night, we were interrupted by my call waiting. Remember call waiting?

Anyway, of course it was him, and he was explaining how something had “come up”, but that now he was on the Freeway, and my exit was coming up, and could he “drop by”?
I was full of Cabernet courage, so I let loose with all of the things P. and I had been rehearsing for 2 hours.

How I wanted to be his “destination”, not just a “drop by, bootie call” at 12:30 in the morning. I also said that: “Not only were he and I not on the same page, we weren’t even in the same book”! 
He laughed…I hung up.

Then I switched back over to P. who had waited on the other line.
We howled with laughter at his audacity and the fact that I had actually said: “I want to be your destination”!! Baaahhhaaaa!
Hey…Wait a minute…That’s a great line! 

You can steal it.

Needless to say, THAT’S how close we are.

P. rocks at manifesting great jobs in her chosen profession, which is….( I can’t tell you, I’ll have to kill you).
Relationships…not so much.
This is all going to become relevant at the end, so take notes.

My advice to her, was to wake up and have Gratitude.
Start saying “Thank you” to the Universe, the minute you get up, even if you have to search for something to be grateful for.
Like your pillow,
Naturally curly hair,
Breathing,
A toaster to toast your toast.
Your yoga mat
A hot shower.
You get the picture.

Focus on what’s right with your life, not what’s wrong.

See, what happens is, when you go through your day offering Gratitude,
either things start to change….or you start to not care! Ha!
Plus as an added bonus, the Universe gives you more things to be grateful for.
Gotta love that!

I suggested she try it for a month.

Yesterday she called me beyond excited, she was having the most financially ridiculous couple of weeks she’d ever had at work. Clients were just throwing money at her! Large sums too!
They were easy, uncomplicated sales, which was not the norm.
They weren’t even disputing the shipping charges! WHAT?!
She was feeling both gobsmacked and flabbergasted! (Don’t you just LOVE those words)!
Me too!

Then it occurred to her that the only thing that had changed in her life was the Gratitude exercise, and she had to call me.

One last thing to mention.
When you do this alchemy with the energy of Gratitude, the magic finds the path of least resistance… The carpool lane.
It finds the quickest, easiest path to you.

With P., it’s her work. That’s the place that will always shift for HER first, because it doesn’t feel all pointy to her, like relationships do.

I’m holding out hope that the next call from P. will be from the wedding chapel in 
Vegas!

Can you figure out YOUR path of least resistance?
XoxJanet

Here are just a few of the things I’m grateful for,thankful for and appreciate!

My health 
My hubby (he’s a saint)
I’m at a quandary here, I don’t want to put my beloved dog before 
my husband, or after my family…she IS family, so..
My family (which includes my dog)
My amazing friends
My friend Eva’s inspirational recovery
The fact that I live in Los Angeles California, USA.
The fact that I can write this blog without fear of reprisals or repercussions (except maybe occasional embarrassment)
Chocolate ( I know it’s high on the list, don’t judge)!
Our motorcycle trips
Singing
The smell of Christmas trees
Driftwood
Laughing, love humor, love to laugh
Airplane travel, all travel really
Red nail polish, well…all nail polish
Mascara and lipstick while I’m at it ( still judging)?
Movies ( I love the surround sound and the big screen)
Rainy days
The color blue
Peanut butter (chunky of course)!
Lazy Sunday afternoons reading
My garden (nature in general)
White twinkle lights
The smell in the house on Thanksgiving!

Let me hear some of yours!

Happy Thanksgiving!
XoxJanet

I like the word appreciation over gratitude.
It’s cleaner,
It’s clearer,
It feels better to me.

Gratitude can still have the energy of overcoming something attached to it.
“God! I’m so grateful THAT is over”!

Thankfulness can carry a similar energy to gratitude.
“I’m so thankful to be done with THAT”!

Don’t get me wrong, reaching for gratitude and thankfulness,
can pull you up and out of the sticky tar of hate, fear and anxiety.
But I have found that through the years, as my gratitude journals
evolved, I could read back and feel in those words of gratitude, 
the wounds that had not healed, 
the fear that I was trying to banish.

It felt like gratitude and thankfulness were part of the healing
process, part of the energy working to sooth me.

Appreciation feels like the finish line.
It feels like the wind is at my back, the past is far behind me, and
I am reaching that line, having stopped to heal along the way with:
1) forgiveness
2 gratitude
3 thankfulness.

So…currently the clean air of appreciation stands waiting for me at the finish 
line, with a towel and some Gatorade.

Try it and see if you can feel the difference.
XoxJanet