spiritual

Gumption

gump·tion
ˈgəmpSHən/
noun informal
1. shrewd or spirited initiative and resourcefulness.
“she had the gumption to put her foot down and head Dan off from those crazy schemes”
synonyms: initiative, resourcefulness, enterprise, ingenuity, imagination

My darling friend told me a story the other night, and with great glee,
she declared that she had displayed “gumption”!

We had watched the movie “The Holiday” together about a week ago.
Come to find out, it’s a Christmas guilty pleasure for both of us.

In the movie, two women switch homes for the holidays in order to escape 
toxic relationships. The woman who travels from England to Los Angeles,
Iris, befriends an elderly screen writer from the golden age of Hollywood.
He advises her to watch several classic 1940’s and 50’s movies,
to witness all the old Hollywood heroines in action. 
“They’ve got gumption” he tells her, 
in a not so thinly veiled attempt to stop her from being such a doormat.
He tells her to become “the leading lady of her own life”.

Gumption is such an old fashioned word.
You don’t hear it used anymore.
It’s an oldie but a goodie.
I like it.

So…my friend tells me her story, where she surprises herself with her…
Gumption!

She is an actress who just recently moved to LA from Canada.
Apparently everything regarding submitting yourself, and getting a part,
is different there. 
EVERYTHING must be done through an agent.

The freedom here in LA has made her absolutely giddy!
That, and all the sunshine.
She is submitting herself for tons of parts…and getting many!
I’m sure it’s her unbridled Canadian enthusiasm, 
which must be as unique as a Unicorn sighting, or real boobs
to these casting agents.

Anyway…
While she was submitting her tape through the usual channels,
she saw the familiar name of a casting agent she had booked a recent job with,
and her PERSONAL email address…
Here’s where the plot thickens.

Her brain did all the self sabotaging back talk that all our brains do.
For chissakes! Don’t send your audition to her PERSONAL email!
She could:
1) get mad ( there goes that contact)!
2) get mad and tell you to loose this email address (yikes)
3) be silent, but never cast you again (very passive aggressively LA)
4) excuse your bad etiquette, but think you’re too pushy (gulp)

But my friend doesn’t want to live that way!
So her exuberance and her gumption prevailed, 
and she hit send…

Not a half hour later, the woman responded so positively, 
it was like something out of a Hollywood movie!
Of course she remembered her!
“you’re perfect for the part,”
“your reading was awesome,”
“I want to see you Friday!”

The moral of this New Year’s tale?
I declare 2014 the year of Orenda, otherwise known as gumption!
Surprise yourself!
Take that leap!

XoxJanet

Well! That’s a relief!
This may be my favorite sentence of all time!
I may have to embroider this on a pillow,
Or have a T-shirt made!
Because for me right now… it’s all about trust.

I can definitely be someone who feels I have to chase my dreams.
I have to make things happen, because if I don’t, the opportunity
may not present itself again!
You snooze, you loose!

EXHAUSTING!

So I loved, loved, loved, this writing from the Kabbalah Centre
yesterday.
It talks about the crazy line up of the planets right now, and how that can make us feel, and also the way that energy can nudge us in the right direction.
Lots of food for thought, and just what I needed for the New Year, besides all the cookies and pie!

So instead of resolutions, let’s set intentions today and tomorrow
to take us into this new energy of 2014.

The first on my list:
TRUST
The Universe is benevolent, it has my back, it is here to help me,
things are always working out for me,
so all I have to do is be still…and listen.
Because…What is mine, will always be mine, no matter what.

What’s on your list?

Here’s an excerpt of the astrology reading, with the link at the bottom.
Happy New Year!
Xox Janet

“So, here’s what to expect this week:
People we haven’t seen for a long time may reemerge for us to correct something that was left unfinished, we may receive a bill by mail from 1914 (I am barely exaggerating!), or a boss we once used to work for may ask us back into his company. Just expect the unexpected! This is our opportunity to correct, fix, or maybe just understand past events… and the good news is, it’s all to our advantage!
The final lesson this week is about fast-forwarding our actions. We are always so afraid that a good opportunity will pass us by that, oftentimes, we make very impulsive choices. This is the week to practice STOP FAST-FORWARDING TO THE END RESULT DECISION MAKING!
Remember what the kabbalists teach: what is mine will always be mine no matter what.
With the help of intuitive Cancer and deep Capricorn, I trust this week will be one of many revelations and great corrections!”

• See more at: http://livingwisdom.kabbalah.com/astrology-forecast-december-29-january-4#sthash.dFMvicpx.dpuf

THAT!
I know for sure these days!

Since we all agree that everything is energy,
(We DO all agree on that, right)?
Then if the energy of a person, place or thing is a mis-match,
It’s gonna feel like hell!

It’s gotten to the point for me, that if I enter a business,
meet a doctor, or interview for a position,
the energy…the “vibe” just HAS to feel right, it has to be a match.
If it feels off in any way, I get very uncomfortable!
I get moody, anxious, and almost angry if I can’t get away from it.

I know I’m not alone.
All around me are relationships, personal and professional
that are in flux because the energy has shifted, 
and they’re as compatible as oil and water.
I know this from personal experience.

It became time to leave my part time jewelry job the other day.
The work part of it was interesting and fun,
but the owner and myself were just NOT an energetic match.
He’s a good person,
I’m a good person,
But it’s all about energy, and
we are just energetically oil and water.
It finally became intolerable, on THAT we agreed.

Jill Bolte Taylor writes about this unseen energy in her book
“My Stroke of Insight”.
She is a brain scientist that had a massive stroke and consciously experienced the 
left hemisphere of her brain go offline.
Without her left brain, she had no language, no recollection of her life, her education, even her family.

What she DID have was a very acute sense of energy, especially of the people around her, and how it affected her.
She could sense when someone entered the room, 
whether they cared about her, and felt compassion toward her,
which made her feel safe,
or whether they were distracted, impatient, or angry,
which felt awful to her.

Infants and animals are able to sense energy the same way.
Why do we grow up and disregard that?

It was a huge insight for her, and for me.
One of the most profound quotes from the book is:
“You are responsible for the energy that you bring”

I agree, and I would also add that you, as a conscious adult, 
you are responsible for the energy you immerse yourself in,
and the most reliable feedback is how it makes you feel.

I don’t mean the occasional yuck that comes up in long term relationships.
If love and compassion are present,
that can be worked thru and shifted.
I’m talking about relationships that have a continued soul sucking
effect on you.

You KNOW exactly what I’m talking about.
It is not subtle, 
and we’re all getting so sensitive it can feel intolerable.

Friendships, jobs, romantic relationships, even family.
Does it feel right?
Do I like them?

Be aware, be brave and stay strong!
XoxJanet

“The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you.” 
– Eckhart Tolle

Seriously, one of the greatest gifts you can give another 
is the gift of being a good listener.
And it really is a gift.

The gift of finishing a train of thought, or story,
or a painful realization…without interruption.

You know those shows on TV where all the women on the panel
talk over each other,
Hate that!

We all do it, we all kind of half listen when someone is talking,
because the other half of our brain is thinking of a clever 
response or a story that applies to what’s being said.
Here’s how it goes:

“We had the best dinner last night, it was at…

“I’ve been to that place too! Isn’t the kale salad to die for,
what about his other place downtown, it’s supposed to be better,
by the way, don’t park anywhere near that place, so and so
got their car broken into, they stole his iPhone, hey speaking of iPhones,
did you do the latest update, mine crashed, I had to take it to the Genius
Bar, and news flash, the guy was super cute, but not a genius, it took a half hour,
so I went next door to Nordstrom’s and looked at shoes”.

Ugh!!

Since it’s a universal truth that everyone just wants to be seen and heard,
I’d like to give the gift of becoming a better listener.

When a friend is talking about an awesome meal they had,
or a trip they just took, or why they think thigh high leather boots
is a look they can pull off,
I’m going to do my damnedest, to keep my mouth shut and listen.

My silence will not imply that I agree with the boot debacle,
because I most certainly DO NOT.

It will be me, listening without interruption, so that they can 
finish a complete thought or story, and come to the conclusion
themselves,
that that ship has sailed…
there will be no thigh high boots in their future.

I hope by my example they will extend me the same courtesy,
keeping their feedback and laughter at bay, until I’m finished.

This could be a hard one,
I’ll let you know how it goes.

XoxJanet

Avatar

av·a·tar
ˈavəˌtär/
noun
1.
HINDUISM
a manifestation of a deity or released soul in bodily form on earth; an incarnate divine teacher.

I met my husband when he was 47 and I was 43.
To say I kissed a lot of frogs along the way is an understatement!
Since he’s French, there’s also a certain irony there.

On paper I looked uber normal.
I had a great job, 
a house,
a relatively “normal” family,
lots of good friends,
And two Siamese cats, Fraidy & Teddy.

But as you all know by now, I had my dark, hidden secret.
I was a closeted seeker.
I was devoutly spiritual.
I did yoga,
I meditated twice a day,
I could have been a monk.
Well, except for the red lipstick and nail polish…oh, and the sex.

Anyway…
I’m pretty sure I blurted it all out on one of our early dates,
after a glass of wine,
half expecting him to excuse himself,
saying he was ” going to the restroom”
only to discover he had made a run for it!
But he didn’t.
It ends up he was a seeker as well, having worked with 
a Peruvian shaman along the way, so I should have seen this coming.

For years I had sought the counsel of a channel,
a friend who had the ability to channel beings of higher wisdom.
So I invited her/them over to “meet” my new husband.
I’m not exactly sure what I expected, but what they did 
was to completely ignore me, 
and practically fall all over themselves,
calling him “Great Avatar”!
Then they explained that I am the “consort” to this great being.

What!??!
Like the Cleopatra to his Marc Anthony?
Nope.
More like the Robin to his Batman.
The Kato to his Green Hornet.
The Heckle to his Jeckle.

Well, not exactly.
He is my teacher.
I am grasshopper.

It just happened for the gazillionth time on Christmas Eve day.

He told me the story that night, on our way to dinner.

He is a typical man in the sense that he waits until 
3pm on the 24th to start his shopping.

So…he’s navigating an overcrowded parking lot,
and he’s hungry.
You get the picture.
He finally sees a car ready to pull out of a space,
so he positions himself, left blinker on,
And waits…and waits…while the person sloooooowy backs out.
Meanwhile, on the other side of them is a little pickup truck
that has the same idea.
My husband sees what’s up, and aggressively blocks the spot with his 
black Porsche, and then pulls in. 
(Don’t judge, just because it’s a Porsche and a pickup truck, just don’t)!
As the pickup truck drives off, he makes eye contact, and flips my husband the middle finger.

That stuff rolls off my husband…he’s French, remember?
But it’s Christmas Eve for cryin out loud!

He walks in to get a quick burger, and realizes while he’s eating,
that middle finger, pickup truck guy is eating with some friends a few tables over.
So he gets out a pen and writes a note on a napkin.
He then attaches $20 and hands it to the waitress to deliver to the guy,
And leaves.

The notes says:
Even though you flipped me the bird,
It’s Christmas Eve.
your lunch is on me.
The black Porsche.

As he glanced back, while walking away, he sees the guy showing the note to his buddies and
looking around the cafe.

He’s my hero.
He’s my teacher
He really is an Avatar. 
It is an honor to be his consort.

XoxJanet

It seems that the energy these last few days is powerfully fast,
and like an avalanche, it is taking us, and everything in its path,
and is carrying it along with it,
as it races toward the end of the year.

But it seems my race to that imaginary finish line of 2014
is strewn with all the different ways my body is choosing to keep up.

Some days it feels like I’m wearing ice skates,
everything feels very slippery,
people, situations,
and it’s hard to keep my balance.
I’m careening toward the New Year on 1/4 inch blades,
arms flailing, weak ankles turned in, with no triple Lutz in sight.

Other days I’m back as a ten year old, 
Only I’m not, I’m 55, and it’s the Fourth of July,
and we’re having those races across the lawn, 
with our shoelaces tied together…
Or balancing an egg on a teaspoon.
It is as impossible now as it was then,
only then, we laughed our heads off as we fell on our faces,
because we were racing toward ice cream.
Oh, to be 10 again.

The other night I wrote about racing like a demon in an ATV.
Now that’s more like it!

How about a catapult?
or sliding into home plate after running all the bases?

It feels like by the 31st it’s going to be a sprint,
but because I have blisters from wearing heels this week,
(They are beautiful,yet cruel)
I might have to limp across the line…does that count?

Can I be like the courageous athlete who runs the good race only to 
have some calamity befall them, and then literally commando crawl over the finish line?

That’s heart right?

I’ve got heart.

I’m just tired.

How is it feeling out there to you?
Xox Janet

“Put yourself into life and never lose your openness, your childish enthusiasm throughout the journey that is life, and things will come your way.”

Wow! 
Here’s a perfect example of the gorgeous and wildly creative
holiday store windows around town.

As I was staring at this image, I thought
“I want one of those!, I want a pine needle dress that looks like that”!
Can you imagine the smell?!!
Divine…heavenly…Pine.

But then the infuriatingly practical side of me took over,
and I couldn’t help but notice that it would probably be very heavy 
on the body, 
those pine boughs can weigh a ton!
and the needles would stick you in places I can’t mention,
places pine needles were never meant to go.

So…
That pine needle dress is dangerous,unsustainable, beauty.
It’s a metaphor for what a lot of us are carrying around in our lives.
The burdens we will bear, so that beauty is what we present to the outside world.

In LA a lot of people have beautiful, expensive cars.
They have chosen to live in a one room apartment, 
with furniture left over from college, in order to afford the payments.
It is a barely sustainable beauty they choose to present to the world.

I know women who are deeply in debt in order to always have the 
latest designer handbag, shoes and clothes.
Every day they wear more than my fathers first house cost on their bodies.
They only eat gum, coffee and cigarettes in order to fit the samples,
and afford their charade.
It is a dangerous, heavy burden they bear in order to look beautiful to the world.

Don’t even get me started on plastic surgery!
There are some girls, yes, girls, who never take a vacation,
they never see the world, in order to save for their next procedure.

When we are willing to sacrifice our quality of life,
to wear that heavy, prickly, pine needle dress, 
that vision of beauty,
that is dangerously unsustainable,
you get the gist,
it never turns out well.

In my imagination though, I’d still like to BORROW that dress for just one night!
Like Cinderella at the ball, 
only I’d wear my Spanx and possibly sweatpants underneath
to protect myself from those pesky needles.
I’d have on flats, not heels, because I can’t be wearing a heavy dress
AND have my feet killing me!
and I’d have to remember not to stand too close to the fireplace!

“The ability to know that your perceptions are accurate has to happen without others’ validation. Intuition is not the result of diet, rituals, or wind chimes. It’s the natural consequence of having self-esteem, the greatest power you can have. With self-esteem, your life can broaden into an adventure because you can know in your gut that you can handle the unknown. And you can handle helping others without fear, which is true liberation.”
– Caroline Myss