Hi, Guys!
This is a throwback that I forgot about. I was only reminded of it because when I put the word “shit” in the dashboard search behind the scenes it comes up! Ha! Go figure. Many, many posts come up when I put the word “shit” in the search. An embarrassing amount. Maybe too many? Nahhhhhh…
Oh well, I suppose it goes along with the shit on your shoe piece from yesterday. I also remember laughing out loud at that cartoon at the top because I’m a unicorn…or rather I wrote about being a twenty-six-year-old divorced unicorn, sometimes I just scream UNICORN! for no reason, AND I included the words unicorn balls in a piece and one of my besties, Steph, never lets me forget it!
#unicornballs
Anyhow, carry on,
xox
This graphic has nothing to do with anything—it just made me howl with laughter.
The bigger question today was: Heeeeeyyyyy…Why does my car smell like a horrible fart?
It’s not Ruby, the one we blame for all things foul smelling—she’s with her dad.
So…I’m the only one in here and as far as I know I haven’t passed gas.
Why do the bank and the market and the stroll on my way to the beauty supply also smell like ass gas? I wondered.
Thought process of an intelligent woman: Maybe that rotten egg, sulfur smell is a natural gas leak? Yeah, that’s it.
We must have a major gas leak in our neighborhood. That could be dangerous.
Note to self: When I get home I need to call the Gas Company to come out and check that out.
That could be a lifesaver, especially with all of the cooking and candle lighting going on the next few days. Nobody wants their face blown off while lighting a candle.
What actually happened: I promptly forgot.
I had other things on my mind.
It was the day before Thanksgiving. I was busy!
Someone else has probably called by now, I figured. It is going to have to be up to another Good Samaritan to save our lives.
Silent prayer just before lighting a candle: Dear God, I hope it’s not my face that gets blown off. Thank you. I mean, Amen.
I was reminded that I forgot, (See how that works?) by the smell of dog fart inside my own home!
The same one I had spent all day Hazeling. The one that was minus one poopy puppy.
Sourly odoriferous. That’s the smell!
I went inside and washed out my nostrils. I did! It was like that dog-farty sour smell was somehow stuck up inside my nose, tainting my entire day.
I lit incense. Nothing helped (but at least I didn’t blow up.)
It just hung over the stench for a while. A delightfully nauseating Nag-Champa-Poop blend.
Turns out I had dog poop on the bottom of my shoe and it had accompanied me all day long, everywhere I went.
Has that ever happened to you?
See where I’m going with this?
I’m not even going to say it because you guys are so smart you already know that I’m going to say that the poop on my shoe was exactly like a metaphor for a bad mood. Anger or even sadness.
We take that you take that shit wherever we go.
Damn, you guys are good!
Carry on,
xox
