This very thought has been a life preserver in a sea of dread that tries to drown me in the middle of the night.
I have the choice to either believe that my best days are behind me, which can let all the air out of my life, or… to anticipate many wonderful days ahead.
Which do you choose?
XoxJanet
I was lucky enough to be present at the announcement today , that Marianne Williamson is running for the US Congress!! But to get us in the right mood, Alanis Morrisette started things off with a couple of songs, all acoustic. I hadn’t heard this song in a long time and the words really resonated. My friends and I cried thru the whole thing!!
Xox Janet
How ’bout getting off these antibiotics
How ’bout stopping eating when I’m full up
How ’bout them transparent dangling carrots
How ’bout that ever elusive kudo
Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence
How ’bout me not blaming you for everything
How ’bout me enjoying the moment for once
How ’bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How ’bout grieving it all one at a time
Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence
The moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it
Was the moment I touched down
How ’bout no longer being masochistic
How ’bout remembering your divinity
How ’bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How ’bout not equating death with stopping
Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you
“Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame,judgment, and blame.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
After reading this book and hearing this woman, whom I deem A gift from God speak,
I had an “ah ha” moment about that torturous, addictive, up in the middle of the night, thing called perfectionism.
What Brene helped me to understand, was that perfectionism comes from that deep well of shame and inadequacy that we immediately go to when we feel we must impress. But who are we impressing?
That well has been filled by all our negative self talk, and is fed by the very thing that we feel we lack the most.
So we will overextend ourselves, often to the point of exhaustion, to overcompensate. That starts more shame and self judgement, and now those negative voices, they have formed a choir…. A very loud choir, and the well gets deeper and deeper.
Here is the question I’ve had to ask myself. Am I striving for excellence?
wanting to be the best ME I can be? Is that what fuels the desire to be perfect?
Or…is all this tail chasing going on because of what I want “THEM” to think of me?
AH HA! Right?!
I was often under the false illusion that I was just striving for excellence.
But your demons are great bullshitters. They’ll tell you anything to keep the game going, those rascals.
So , “who am I trying to impress”‘ is always the first question I ask myself
When I get that twinge toward perfectionism.
Because you know what?
The peanut gallery,
“THEY”
Are never satisfied.
If they are as judgmental as I am…I’m doomed!
I have to say that age has set me free.
Perfectionism was my judge and jailer much more when I was younger, and age has brought me a certain ability to relax into the fact that things are never going to be perfect, most certainly, myself.
Whew!! What a relief!!
XoxJanet
Uncertainty and indecision are the two backseat drivers
in life that can really shake you to the core.
They keep you off balance enough that you find yourself walking
in circles, not sure which direction to take.
They keep you distracted by their very presence,
Their voices drowning out any voice of reason, and even the radio!
“Why don’t you know what to do next?” taunts uncertainty.
“Why such a hard time deciding?” scowls indecision.
We are here to tell you:
Sometimes you just don’t know….and that’s okay!
There are times in life, when you’re going to be standing at a crossroads,
checking in with your gut, asking “which way now”? And you’re going to hear
Silence…
Crickets…
And you know what? That’s an answer!
When you check in, when you do all your due diligence,
and all you hear are the voices of those scoundrels
Uncertainty and indecision,
Stand still
Breathe
It’s going to be fine!
Those two cannot hold up to the scrutiny of courage and faith.
It takes courage to navigate uncertainty.
It take faith to conquer indecision.
They are not scoundrels after all, they are two very powerful
teachers.
Once you make peace with that, you can kick them out of your backseat,
Let go of the wheel,
turn up the radio, and know that all is well and the answers will come.
What does it take for someone to earn a place in your life?
Is the criteria complicated?
Are there invisible tests they must pass?
Or do all that apply get accepted?
Trust should be earned. Not given away for free.
People should be approached with an open heart,
but earning a permanent place there, should come with
a few qualifications.
First and foremost, is the love and trust reciprocated?
It should never feel one sided.
Second, are secrets kept, and confidences held close?
You want to know that your most intimate thoughts and vulnerabilities
won’t be betrayed to others.
Third, are they dependable? Will they be there when you need them?
Will they drop everything in a crisis to be available to you?
If you can answer yes to all three of these questions,
then and only then, should someone become significant in your circle.
You may even have a couple more criteria of your own that must be met,
But let these three questions be a true litmus test of who you hold
close and who you keep as an acquaintance.
Not everyone EARNS a place of SIGNIFICANCE in your heart.
Just a reminder here, that all the aches and pains,
and cold and flu symptoms are part of a recalibration.
After big waves of energy come in, they rearrange everything,
the cells of every living thing are shifted,and shuffled.
This is all for the better, but often your bodies need some time to catch up.
That is why you feel so tired, achy and cranky.
It makes you seek solitude and rest, lots of rest.
As these cells recalibrate, they actually vibrate faster, shaking off a
layer of density, of unwanted, un needed layers of “muck”.
As this “energetic muck” is released, your body responds.
If it chooses to leave quickly, it looks like vomiting and diarrhea.
Chills and sweating. Like the “flu”
So don’t freak out, and don’t yell NO at it!
The more you resist and yell NO, the longer it will take to pass,
And it will pass, so better to just relax into it.
For many of you it presents as a sore throat, and running nose.
Like a “cold”.
Again, it is your body catching up with this new higher energy,
so now that you remember that, you will just take it easy, and let it pass.
We don’t want to sound like a broken record, but we can hear you complaining,
So here’s our gentle reminder 😉
If you want more of a reminder re read “Recalibration” from earlier this year.
Are you proud of yourself? Of the life you’re leading?
If you’re not, what can you do to correct that?
Some of you have never felt pride in yourselves or your accomplishments.
You have never thought about yourself, or walked thru the world with a sense of pride.
What WE mean by that is, many of you don’t want to seems full of yourselves,
So you self deprecate, almost to a fault.
Now, this can be a tightrope topic.
Look at the definitions of PROUD especially the second one, and LOOK at those synonyms!
PROUD
proud/
adjective
1.
feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one’s own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated.
“a proud grandma of three boys”
synonyms: pleased, glad, happy, delighted, joyful, overjoyed, thrilled, satisfied, gratified, content More
antonyms: ashamed
(of an event, achievement, etc.) causing someone to feel this way.
“we have a proud history of innovation”
synonyms: pleasing, gratifying, satisfying, cheering, heartwarming; More
antonyms: shameful
2.
having or showing a high or excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance.
“a proud, arrogant man”
having or showing a consciousness of one’s own dignity.
“I was too proud to go home”
SYNONYMS: arrogant, conceited, vain, self-important, full of oneself, puffed up, jumped-up, smug, complacent, disdainful, condescending, scornful, supercilious, snobbish, imperious, pompous, overbearing, bumptious, haughty; More
antonyms: humble, modest
imposing; splendid.
“bulrushes emerge tall and proud from the middle of the pond”
synonyms: magnificent, splendid, resplendent, grand, noble, stately, imposing, dignified, striking, impressive, majestic, glorious, awe-inspiring, awesome,
Having pride and being proud of yourself has gotten a bad name.
You can appear to be the MOST humble soul on the planet.
But we want you to FEEL proud of yourselves on the INSIDE.
These feelings are not mutually exclusive. You can be humble and feel pride.
We would like you to realize your value, and feel how valuable your life is.
We trust that you will not go off the deep end with this.
Even the people that seem to be all puffed up and boastful
are a facade.
They overcompensate for their real, hidden feelings of inferiority.
So we’d like to give you an assignment.
Find one thing in your life that you’re doing currently that gives
you a sense of pride inside.
If you don’t know what that feels like, look at the first definition above for help.
Feelings of pleasure,satisfaction,and gratification.
Even if it’s as simple as opening the door for someone,
or giving a homeless man a dollar.
Did you purge and give all your boxes to a charity?
Did you call and wish someone a happy birthday?
Maybe you let someone ahead of you in the checkout line.
Seriously, start there.
These do not have to be huge, we just want you to look for that feeling inside.
After you find this feeling, you will become addicted to it.
You will begin to search for ways to feel that satisfaction with yourself.
And believe us when we say, it becomes contagious.
When you walk thru the world behaving with a sense of pride,
your actions will follow, others will start to “pay it forward”
and this will start a chain reaction.
You will single handedly change the way the world views
Pride and being Proud.
Well done! We’re proud of you 😉
