I had a dream the other night that I was on a wide open plain,
riding a bike in a lightning storm.
It was really vivid at the time, and I can remember thinking
” well, this can’t be safe”! as I rode along, lightning all around me.
The interesting thing was that the flashes were limited to the horizon,
…and there was no thunder.
I completely forgot about it until later that day when something,
I can’t remember what, triggered the memory.
So I asked the universe for insight…cause that’s how I roll.
“Hey Universe, What did that dream mean”?
The answer I got was profound, but it also made me laugh.
It said you are seeking balance (the bicycle)
inside your inspiration (the lightning).
How creative of the Universe to pick those images,
but also how PERFECT!
Lately I have been wondering a lot about balance.
When I was younger, balance was nonexistent.
I got a boyfriend, and lost myself so completely
that I couldn’t manage to comb my hair or go to work, let alone returns phone calls or see my friends! I was THAT girl. Ugh.
Total immersion had worked well for me in the past, but
I’m not sure that’s the answer any more.
I’m feeling all this inspiration, but I often feel I’m riding a unicycle,
spinning plates on a pole…in clown pants.
My life for a looooong time was very predictable.
Then I got married, and the plates got thrown in the air,
but I got used to that too.
Now as I’m embarking on this new life, of writing, and doing readings,
I’m not exactly sure how to integrate this with all things old.
Balance…what does that look like?
Old life…New life…
I think I may need training wheels on that bike in the storm
just for awhile.
Am I a writer?
Am I a teacher?
Am I a jeweler?
Am I a singer?
Which one am I?
I NEED A LABEL, so total immersion can occur!
The conclusion I’m coming to is this,
No titles or labels.
Check in with my heart, then do what feels good.
If I want to write, then write!
Doesn’t matter if I’m a “writer”.
If I want to sing, for crissakes sing!
I don’t have to have the title “singer”.
Be in the moment doing what feels good,
Just do the best job I can, and the time for everything will present itself,
and eventually riding in that lightning storm,
won’t feel perilous at all…it will feel invigorating!
