Life

Hi All,
So here’s the thing. While I was being a slug on the couch Friday night, my husband inquired as to my plans for Saturday afternoon. Seems after reading my post about the kite
http://theobserversvoice.com/2014/04/02/go-fly-a-kite/
He went on Amazon, bought me a kite and researched the places within a thirty mile radius of our home with optimal wind conditions.
Is your mouth hanging open like mine was?
Just that he continues to read my blog gives him so many husband extra credit points, then to actually decipher the emotional content….
So yesterday we actually woke up to a blue sky, breezy day, drove to a perfect little park in Silverlake, and for the first time in 40 years, I flew a kite. I still can’t wipe the smile off my face.
Happy Sunday!

XoxJanet

“Whenever you become anxious or stressed, outer purpose has taken over, and you lost sight of your inner purpose. You have forgotten that your state of consciousness is primary, all else secondary.”
~Eckhart Tolle~

Man, can you feel it? There’s a LOT of drama out there.

It’s like the Shakespeare Festival has staked its tent and all the players are acting out their melodrama…inside OUR lives. Crazy has come to town.

It feels not only national, but global…even Cosmic.
Lots of amped up solar activity lately. March even spit us an X class solar flare on its way out. I blame everything wonky on solar flares. Computer goes down, car won’t start, dog poops in the house.

“I call it! Solar flare!” From bad TV reception, to cranky pants postal workers, to epic fly away hair and static electricity. I went to pet the dog last night and produced an electrical arc that would have made Tesla proud. “Solar flare!”

If you think that full moons bring out the crazies, I betcha twenty bucks solar flares are worse.

Mother Earth is even rattled for Pete’s sake. It’s rockin’ and rolllin’, and keeping us all guessing. “They” even say that the 8.2 in Chile was not “The Big One”. “They” are not helping. “They” need be run out-of-town with torches and pitchforks. Kidding. But seriously people, you don’t know ANYTHING for sure. Pipe down or soon everyone in Chile and California will be sleeping in the park.

Oh yeah, Crazy loves to camp.

Driving is especially insane these days. On the freeway this morning, there must have been an accident every mile and a half.
People are short-tempered and stressed, and that makes them drive really fast while texting, eating an Egg McMuffin and putting on mascara.

I’d tell you it’s safer to fly, but…honest to God, where’s that freaking Malaysian plane?

The energy seems to be crackling with chaos and turmoil. So how do we stay above the fray? How do we not get caught up in all this drama? Especially when the majority of it doesn’t even belong to us?

1) TURN OFF CNN.

2) Breathe and stay in the moment. Someone’s got to keep a cool head.
Don’t worry about what “could” happen. Breathe and stay in the moment.

If the Earth opens up and swallows your neighbor’s house…breathe and stay in the moment.
If the car next to you swerves and flips on it’s back. Breathe and stay in the moment.

3) Keep a cool head. Stay grounded. It’s not your shit. Help out.
Be one of the people who stays calm and carries on. We need you.
If it’s not happening to you directly, breathe and stay in the moment so you can be of assistance.

If YOUR house is hit by an asteroid, you know what I’m gonna say:
Breathe and stay in the moment.
Then grab the dog and run.

XoxJanet

How crazy is it where you are?
How do you stay grounded? Or do you? I want to hear about it in the comments below.

The other night in our awesome Wednesday Women’s group, we talked about being people pleasers and what a dead end street that is.
To be a people pleaser you have to care what other people think. It has to matter to you. A lot. Maybe even enough to alter your behavior, and stifle your badassery.

Everyone is a people pleaser to some degree, no one is immune.
Although, everyone last night has noticed that not all the young people these days are drinking the kool aid. They may do what you want; but they let you know they’re not happy about it. My nephew will NOT be held accountable for my sister’s happiness. He will not sacrifice one iota of “who he is” to be someone she’d like him to be. She loves that….and it bothers her. We want our people to care what we think of them.

He’s a lot like me. My lack of caring what most people thought of me, especially when I was younger, was labeled selfish and conceited. I have never been run of the mill. Shocking, I know. They wanted compliance. It was a constant battle. It’s a different time now. Hallelujah.

When I was a kid and someone said something mean about me, my mom would advise me to: Consider the source. Oh…like step out of my hurt feelings and size up the culprit?
That was genius, and I do it to this day. I highly recommended it to my Wednesday women.
If someone criticizes you or asks you to do something you really don’t want to do, who is that person? What’s their motivation? To control you? To put conditions on their love?
Uh oh…that’s a big one.

What I began to notice over and over again is that they are usually the “un-pleasable” that live among us. No matter how many thank you notes you send, phone calls you make, cupcakes you bake, bridal showers you throw or airport pick ups you do, it’s never enough. You will be tap dancing as fast as you can to THEIR music, and it’s still never right.
So why bother.
I’d rather be happy.
I don’t give a rat’s ass what they wish I’d do or say or be.
It’s very liberating. It’s not easy. There will be name calling.
Oh well.

I DO care what some people think.
There is a core group that I’ve formed and you can too. My group is small.
They are vetted, trusted comrades. They love me and offer constructive criticism and the truth. They have soft eyes and a loving tone when they tell me what they think. Even if it’s harsh. They get my badassery and they’re not looking to change me. THOSE are the people whose opinions I seek and cherish.
The peanut gallery can go to hell. 

If you want to be truly happy, and live a big, amazing life, I suggest you stop looking for other people’s approval. You will never write a blog or do musical theatre if you care. There will always be those that tell you you’re not doing it right.
Consider the source. Is that person an exemplary example of all that you want to be? Probably not. Those people don’t deliver their message that way.
Stop looking around and consider the source. You can quote me on that.

Xox Janet

Were you or have you ever been a people pleaser? Does this push a button?
Conversation time in the comments below! Share a story.

I love me some Mary Barra. She is the CEO of General Motors, and right now they are in some pretty hot water over the handling of an ignition switch recall. People were injured and some died from these faulty parts. At the time, 2004-2008, GM was in serious financial trouble, and we, the tax payer, bailed them out in 2008.
They are now the new and improved General Motors, with Mary Barra coming in as CEO in January 2014
Now, I don’t usually have all these dates and details at my finger tips, I was just stuck in traffic, and heard the story today on the radio. It’s still me, don’t be alarmed.

Here’s why I love Mary Barra. She said “I am deeply sorry.”

“Today’s GM will do the right thing,” she said. “That begins with my sincere apologies to everyone who has been affected by this recall — especially to the families and friends of those who lost their lives or were injured. I am deeply sorry.”

No one from GM has offered anything close to an apology up until today.
What? Why?
Lawsuits, no admission of guilt, blah, blah, blah.
Say you’re sorry damn it!

You get a lot of mileage from saying “I’m sorry.”
To someone who’s lost a loved one it isn’t enough; but it is a start.
It shows compassion. Corporations generally haven’t shown empathy or compassion, because they aren’t human. But they’re comprised of human beings, so where’s the disconnect?

What is the human resistance to apologizing?
In your life does saying “I’m sorry” signal weakness?
I think it signals strength. Like bad ass Ninja warrior strength; because it’s hard to say.
Something happened. Shit went down. Feelings got hurt. You played a part.
“I’m sorry.”

Just those two-word can defuse SO much energy.
Have you ever tried to continue your rage rant when someone has just offered you a sincere apology? You can’t. Well, you can, but you’ll feel like a real bitch. Then the tables are turned.

If it’s insincere, there’s nothing worse and it doesn’t count.
Get mad. Lawyer up. Show no mercy.
But if it’s heartfelt….it starts the healing…or the conversation…or the hot make up sex.

I’ve said it when I’ve been wrong, and I’ve had it said to me, and I gotta tell ya, it’s magic. It’s like water on a fire.
You feel heard and understood.
So next time your back’s up against the wall, and you’ve messed up,
just say you’re sorry, and mean it, you Ninja warrior, you.
It’ll feel good; I promise.

Xox

Do you say your sorry when your wrong? Do you accept it when it’s said to you?
Agree or disagree?
Start the conversation in the comments below.

I love our Wednesday Women’s group. We get together after a long day, notebooks in hand, and settle into our sacred circle with the intention to transform our lives. We let loose the habits shaped from our pasts, divulge an occasional secret dream, and bask in the fertile conversations of our lives reimagined. Even though Saturday put up a good fight, Wednesday is now my favorite night of the week.

This week we discussed gratitude. I LOVE me some Gratitude, and its sister, Appreciation. I truly believe they are the stepping-stones to a happier existence. I’ve witnessed how they can literally transform a life.

That being said, when terrible things happen in life, and they do; the losses, the failures, the disappointments and the heartbreaks. You do yourself a disservice by immediately slapping a happy face bandage over the feelings.

Back in the day at the start of the “New Age” movement, it was taught that everything could be solved with a positive affirmation and a side of gratitude.
“Be grateful that your life is in shambles, you’ll be a better person. Now say this affirmation: When shit rains down on me, I will smile and grab an umbrella”.

So, that’s what a lot of us did.

I did.

I was the poster child for laughing through tears. I had notes with positive affirmations stuck all over my house. I had them written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror.

I firmly believed that I could “positive think” my way out of every sad, sucky situation. But there was no feeling behind my gratitude, it was all lip service. I was hurting and the last thing I held in my heart at that moment was appreciation for the situation. I could have tattooed an affirmation on my forehead, that still wouldn’t have made it so.

When you know this stuff as well as I do, you think you should implement all the teachings you have in your back pocket to navigate your pain. All you do is delay it. Pain, anger, grief and the rest of the crew HAVE TO BE FELT in order to dissipate.

Then, and only then, can the gratitude flood in and fill the void.
But not one minute before.

Oh shit.
I messed that up for over thirty-five years.

I’ve had “delayed reaction syndrome” regarding my darker emotions. Sadness hits me months later. I can throw a dinner party with balloons and sing with the band minutes after terrible news.

I’m THAT girl.

I misunderstood the directive: This too shall pass.
I never let it pass me, I ran faster, in my endless race of avoidance.

I used to feel guilty for feeling sad and wanting to cry all day. I thought I should be able to rise above it. I would gear up with my pad of Post Its and search for the silver lining every time life took a terrible turn. But often that lining is buried deep under multiple layers of anger, pain and resentment. You have to really get in there and mine for it. Otherwise, a positive affirmation scab can form, and everything just festers underneath.

It’s not pretty, I don’t recommend it.

I do believe you can “Fake it, till you make it” which is affirming a behavior as you learn it, but not until the underlying issues are resolved.
Oh yeah….that.

I hold such deep admiration for those cultures where it’s accepted to wail with grief. Men AND women, what a relief that must be. They just give into it, and let all that emotion out. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Seems so much healthier.

I’m always afraid the sadness will be so deep it will swallow me whole, and my wailing will never cease. Dogs will continue to hear it for weeks and pray for sweet relief.

So this is my cautionary tale of not reaching for gratitude too soon.

We discussed this at length on Wednesday, because we are all about transition through transformation. We all agreed that we would not cheerlead someone out of their pain. Myself included, because I am the biggest offender. We would hold the place for them to feel through the layers until the onion is peeled.
We won’t let them wallow either. Tightrope walking, I know. But so do-able in this group, and for that I am TRULY grateful.

Are you someone who can process your emotions in real-time, or are you more like me with “delayed reaction syndrome”. Let me know in the comments below.

XoxJanet

Red hair, blonde hair, soon grey hair, thin days, fat days, aging…my picture can never keep up with the ever transitioning me!
Happy Sunday!

XoxJanet

Be prepared to O. P. E. N your mind here.
I’m going to elaborate on this council I mentioned in the March 25th post.

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years, through various books, lectures and classes and what I now believe wholeheartedly.

I’m just going to save you the years of searching and condense it, humanize it and try to make it palatable.

You’re welcome.

As always,  the parts of this that resonate with you, set the rest aside. That’s what I always recommend. It’s how discernment works. And, it helps you fine tune your bullshit meter.

So, here goes. Since we are all infinite energy, we exist with consciousness, even when we don’t have a physical body. That is why death at that level, is just an illusion.
When we get bored playing around in the non-physical and we decide to take a body on Earth, there is a lot of responsibility that goes with the planning and coordinating. You can’t just come down without a purpose. As I’ve said before, there are no “extra” people wandering around down here.
Okay, we do experience amnesia, which makes things…interesting, kinda exciting, even an adventure. And without it, we wouldn’t play the game.

So…we’re thinking of taking a body again and all that entails.
The pros: An experience smorgasbord of:
Touch, feel, taste.
Sex
Emotions.
Personal interactions, relationships.
Endless choices
Just to name a few.
The cons: All of the above.
Add a dash of Free Will, and let the games begin.
That’s where the council comes in. It is composed of several souls that have such a vested interest in our plan, that they want to tag along. They very much need to be present at these “meetings” to coordinate just when and where they will make their
appearance. They may be the love of our lives AND the boss we can’t stand. Playing the parts that will help us the most to grow. Our parent’s souls are definitely part of that group. Enough said.

Then there are the souls whose job it is to help others plan their lives on Earth.

I think of them as the experts or the Masterminds. They may have never even had a life here, but they are the go-to source of all things Earth. (Which to me is like a priest teaching sex education, I’m just sayin’). But it works. They have an easy time being dispassionate. In other words, they don’t buy into the drama and the bullshit.

Also at the table, is the part of your soul you left behind. Often referred to as The Higher Self. The energy we are all composed of, is too huge to squeeze into this tiny body, so a large portion stays behind. It’s that part of us that has infinite knowledge, the smarty pants part of our souls. You can tell it’s your Higher Self a mile away, they cheer the loudest.
They all wear TEAM sweatshirts. TEAM JANET’S are red.
Seated next to them, are our Guardian Angels.
The bottom line is this: Everyone present wants to help us succeed with our purpose or plan.

Even if we don’t, they do check in at various times in our lives, to remind us of our path and give us love, support and chocolate. Most especially when the wheels have fallen off the cart and we are dangerously close to starring in our own TLC reality series: Living Bad Choices, Her Life As A Hot Mess.
Whenever I witness a complete 180 degree course correction in my life or someone’s close to me, I know the council had a hand in it. Bless them and their infinite patience and sense of humor.

All of this is done at an unconscious level of course, most likely while we’re asleep…or driving…or while our neighbor drones on about the snails in his garden.

When I was young, this all felt very “Big Brother” to me. Were they watching EVERYTHING? Did they see me in the bathroom or watch me try on bathing suits at Nordstrom?
But as I’ve grown older the thought of this council feels…comforting. Often, before I go to sleep at night, I give some thought and then set an intention as to what I’d like to discuss that night. If there’s a certain problem I want them to chew on for me, I just ask. I know they have the map of my life, all spread out, with the big picture. They know my purpose and the 17,000 different paths I can take to get there, and I trust them to show me the way. They are the voice of my intuition after all.

What color is your TEAM sweatshirt? Make a list of three topics you’d like the council to work on for you right before bed, then share the results with us.

XoxJanet

Thank you so much for all the lovely Birthday emails and comments. I love my blog family! And I didn’t bite anyone…one out of two.
XoxJanet

It’s my birthday today.
Yep, another year older, I’m game for that; it is better than the alternative.

Once upon a long time ago, a wise man told me that it’s very important to meditate on the day of your birth and to set an intention for the year to follow.

He also told a story that I swallowed hook, line and sinker, and it went something like: Either the night before, or the night of your birth, you go before a council, in your dreams. You then state your case as to the reasons why you should be allowed to remain on the planet for another year.

What will you add?

Will you move further toward your purpose, or stay asleep?

When he explained that to me over coffee and a huge dose of conviction –– I took it very seriously…and I still do.

I used to look around at the people who appeared to just be marking time, figuring their council session probably didn’t go so well. Until I realized, someone could be wondering that about me. Everyone’s entitled to have an off-year, right?

The older I get, the more I understand that this is not a dry run. This is the real deal.

You’ve gotta try your damnedest to find out why you’re here, and then get on with it.

What do you think you last told the council?

That you’re going to spend another year at that dead-end job, or in that abusive, loveless marriage?

That you’re not going to take that trip you’ve always dreamed about…again?

That you’re not going to take any chances…you’ll be sitting on the sidelines, playing it safe again this year?

How would that go over with them? I’m thinkin’ not so good.

We may be given some slack in our twenties, ’cause we’re newbies, but by now, we had better make a hell of a case for walking the planet for another 365 days.

I only get the privilege of being me this one time around. I’m not looking at blowing it.

Xox