lazy

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
~Samuel Goldwyn

I have a hard time believing everything I read which either makes me incredibly wise and discerning—or lazy.

The kind of lazy where you don’t take the time to follow a recipe to the end so you just dump in the rest of the ingredients and hope for the best. Lazy like drinking hot cocoa instead of checking for icebergs or only wearing earmuffs to rob a bank.

Truth is stranger than fiction these days. If I wrote a fraction of what is actually taking place in real life, MY real life, OUR real lives right now—nobody would believe me and I’d be less famous than I already am.

Tens of people can’t all be right. Things you see on the internet or in Hallmark cards are often lies. Stupid lies. And nobody fact checks….and now we’re back to lazy.

Did a man eat his underwear to beat a breathalyzer?

Was a headless body found inside of a topless bar?

Did Hillary adopt an alien baby?

I can’t be sure. I saw it on the internet so…could just be a slight exaggeration.

You know, just like this blog, only two out of ten people read past the headline. The others prefer sugarless gum.

I for one, have had it up to here ( for all of you listening to this on the radio I’m motioning above my head), with deciphering facts. What good does it do? I’m going to accept things at face value. The good, the bad, and the stupid. Then I’m going to toss myself a word salad and pick out the anchovies AND the stupid.

Or…I may change my mind.

No more lazy. If a story seems inflammatory, like a boil on the butt of humanity, I will:
1) Consider the source.
2) Consult People Magazine.
3) Ask for proof.
Mountains of paperwork kind proof. Facts and figures kind of proof. Blind studies kind of proof. Flowcharts and graphs and exit polls kind of…oh, wait minute.

I’m reevaluating everything right now. I’ve programmed my eyes and seven other senses to steer away from the stupid.

I’ll let you know how that goes. I may end up living in a deprivation tank—or Canada.

I never apologize.
I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.
– Homer J. Simpson

Carry on.

xox

PROCRASTINATE

synonyms: delay, put off doing something, postpone action, defer action, be dilatory, use delaying tactics, stall, temporize, drag one’s feet/heels, take one’s time, play for time, play a waiting game
“fear of failure often causes people to procrastinate”

For the last several years, on the date of the Winter Solstice, Darling Diana holds a meditation. It is my favorite one.

Held on the evening of the longest night of the year, it manages to be dark, moody, sacred, and festive all at the same time.
If you can imagine that.

There is always a huge turnout, hugging of old friends, crystals glistening in the candlelight, and this year a Christmas tree.

One of the traditions (and I love a good tradition) is to intuit a word during the meditation and then write it down.
This will be your defining word for the year.
No pressure.

She cautioned us not to overthink it. “Just empty your mind and let the word come to you“, she advised. “It may not even make any sense, just stay with it.”
And off we went; into that dark mid winter’s night meditation deep.

Never one to be able to just follow a simple assignment, I got TWO words that kept repeating. No matter how many times I shouted “NO!” at them.
“Hey, follow the rules you guys, besides, those words suck.” Wow, even my meditation voice is snarky.

I would write them on imaginary paper in my head and then wad it up and throw it away. Still there.
I would scratch them out with a big red circle/slash. No use, they kept coming.
Not only were there two words, one of them scared the shit out of me. It literally made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. It gave me a headache.

My words: Aligned Conception. WTF?!

Conception is a loaded word for me, since I’m someone that is of the childless persuasion; and at my age, and in my circumstances, it would be a colossal fuck-up – and a medical miracle.
The act of conceiving a child is something that I have actively avoided my whole life, sooooo I’d have a lot of fast talking and explaining to do – to my body – to my husband – to our doctors – and our future.

For about three minutes, in the grips of a deep panic, I fought that word tooth and nail. I did, I bit it and clawed at it.
It was an epic battle between ME and me.

Then I just gave in. Fine. Fuck you, Conception. (pun intended). You win.

But what I’d been overlooking in my immediate and strenuous, jumping to conclusions, was the word aligned that had preceded it every time.
Aligned conception – idiot.

Aligned Conception. What a concept. Now I love my word(s)!

Aligned, meaning to line things up. BEFORE you make a move.
I tend to be impetuous, so daily, no, make that hourly, I’m attempting to think before I leap.

Well played Universe.

Waiting to be inspired, which I’m doing more and more.

Creating or conceiving ideas or concepts, as they line up, make sense, feel right.

Noticing that if you’re aligned, all the right people, places, ideas, and inspiration will beat a path to your door. Impetuous not so much. It can’t find your door because it couldn’t take a minute to write down your address.

Taking the time to align, sounds a lot like procrastination – well, yeah, it is, except it’s Divine Procrastination. With it you’ll take Inspired Action, you’ll experience Aligned Conception.

This is foreign to me. Fish out of water foreign. I’ve never been a procrastinator. Ever. Ask my husband, oh wait, he’ll tell you later. He’s a pro, and it works for him. I had to break it down to understand it. Here’s how I think it works.

I always thought procrastination was a dirty word, with a negative connotation. It was a habit of the fearful and the lazy. It can be, but it’s also a tool of the wise.

Let me explain.

How many times have you made THAT call or answered THAT email, when you weren’t lined up (aligned)?
You hadn’t taken the time to breathe, get centered, take a walk, or kick the dog. How did that go?

Light-yourself-on-fire shitty, right?

How many projects have you started when the funding was dicey, the players weren’t lined up, your ducks weren’t in a row, your i’s were not dotted, your t’s were not crossed – and your gut told you to wait?
KA BOOM! Crash and burn, right?

I may know a thing or two about this, being as impetuous as I am/was.

What if I had only procrastinated? Waited for the “gut green light”?

If it doesn’t feel right. I won’t do it. I’ll Wait. I’ll Align. Then I’ll Conceive.

Got it!

I don’t know about you, but I think Aligned Conception just kicked Impetuous’ ass.

Xox