inspiration

Hey Loves,
What are the ideas you’re putting out into the world?
What are you excited about, posting, hitting “publish” on?
As Jason explains, we are paying it forward, putting it out there and creating the future. you up for that?

I am.

Happy Sunday,
xox

I’ve run across a few articles lately, by some authors whom I admire; about their reservations with the validity of blogs and social media in general.

What they expressed, was that they were glad blogging and Facebook weren’t around when they started out, because it would have diluted their process. 
They felt they would have just spewed or posted some observational quips, and not taken the time or effort to dredge the murky waters of their deepest feelings.

I disagree. AND. Who the hell do I think I am?

These guys are the real deal. These people are WRITERS. They’ve known they were writers since grade school.
They sat writing while I sang and danced. I saw them.
They’ve kept little blue journals with locks you can pick with a bobby pin (don’t ask me how I know that). These people edited the school newspaper, majored in journalism and communication (again, while I sang and danced) and have published magazine articles and books. 

Writing is what they do. A writer is who they are.

I JUST started calling myself a writer like five minutes ago, it’s easily my third incarnation in this incredible life I’m living.

Here’s where I part company with these guys.
Being new to this creative outlet, I have to say, I am SO freaking grateful for the internet.
I can’t help it, I guess because I don’t know any differently.
When I started writing two years ago, I had no idea where it would lead me.
All I knew was: I HAD to write.
I get headaches when I don’t. I get sullen and sad.
Let’s face it, I get itchy and bitchy.

I had heard about blogs, but I’d never read one.
Ever.

All I knew was, I had suddenly joined the ranks of these brainy creatives that had paid attention in creative writing class (while I sang and danced) and hence are able capture their inner most thoughts and feelings, and put them down on paper (or computer).

Being the extrovert and exhibitionist that I am, I had the audacity to start a blog (I was actually guided) and post something EVERY DAY. I didn’t know that was unusual, but hey, when have I EVER done things the usual way?

Like the authors I mentioned, I could have been silently, and anonymously honing my craft, letting all my memories and experiences marinate until they were ripe and ready for mass consumption.

Nah.

All of these months of writing coulda/ shoulda been tucked safely away, in a notebook, on a napkin, or on my iPad, with a lock and a password that made sure they were for my eyes only.
It’s a funny thing, the posts that make me squirm, the ones in which I rat myself out or discuss things that still cause me to cringe with shame, those are the ones that get the most traction. I think it’s because you guys can relate, just like I know I can, to someone telling the truth. It may be raw and not perfectly punctuated; but I think you can feel it anyhow.

If I self edited, waited, even hesitated for half a second….I’d never hit POST.

There’s my point. When I realized I wasn’t alone in my pain, embarrassment, failure and fear, I wanted to let other people know my truth, so I let my fingers do the talking.

I can appreciate the other writer’s process, I really can, but I would like them to appreciate mine.
It would feel out of body odd and uncomfortable for them to hit the POST button everyday, because when you do that, everything may not be just right, and that’s….okay.

The internet was made for someone like me. I’m not a solitary person At. All. I need feedback.

I know some days my thoughts ramble, or there’s a period where a comma belongs, or auto correct fucking goes insane, but that’s the spontaneity I think you get from blogging.
It’s real.
AND….

My blog is free. You didn’t have to purchase it, and if you don’t like it, or agree with what I write, you can hit delete. Simple as that.

But you don’t. Thank God. You continue to follow and comment and email me, and I appreciate that so much, you’ll never know.

Here’s what I love MOST about social media: it reminds you you’re not alone.
Boy, does it ever!

Here are some other things I love:

I love that it reinforces the fact that mommie’s brains aren’t liquefying while they stay at home. There are some wickedly, crazy funny ladies blogging about the adventures of raising their kids.

I love that musical theatre lovers have their blogs. And science guys. And photographers, fashionistas and entrepreneurs.

I love that in the last ten days there have been so many amazing tributes to Robin Williams and blog discussions about depression that have enlightened me, and brought me to tears.

I love the blogs and articles that are being written on race relations. It’s a hot topic for sure, but it’s being discussed – in real time.

Here’s the thing about the internet, I don’t have to wait for the books that will be written about these subjects, with their pristine editing, perfect grammar and punctuation, I’m reading some really thoughtful and comprehensive writing – today.

All that being said, here’s the elephant in the room.
I’m about to go do a writing workshop with some heavy duty, REAL writers ( I KNOW! I can’t believe it either) and work on a book derived from things I’ve written in this blog.
A book? Whaaaaaaaatttttt?
Shut up!
I know! 

I’m going to take you with me on this journey, to keep me on the straight and narrow.
So My tribe, here’s a question before I go.
What are some things I’ve written about that you’d like to see in a book? What do you want to hear more about? I’m curious.

Thanks.

( I can see it in the comments now, “write more about that devilishly handsome, fascinating Husband character, he’s so very interesting.) 

Okay honey, will do 😉

Love you guys, 
Xox

What do you think is the easiest ways to gather metal shavings?
Broom and dustpan? Windex and a paper towel? Magic wand?
How about a magnet?

Now apply that to gathering the right people for your new project.
Attracting the right partner.
Magnetizing money.

That’s right. Become the magnet.
Magnets have the ability to either attract or repel.
You know that guy at the office that you just can’t stand to be around? You are energetically repelled; so be prepared to say no when he asks you out…because he will.

Opposites may attract; but only for a short time, you just can’t override physics.

So, how do you become Magneto?

Here’s a trick I use.
I’ve done it since the 70’s, using it to help humanity by drawing in better fashion and hairstyles.

I imagine in my mind’s eye all the projects and people who I admire.
These days it would be:
Brene Brown, Liz Gilbert, Anne Lamott, Maire Forleo, Richard Branson, Daniele LaPorte.
The TedTalks, Hay House Conferences, OWN Network. Various Writing and Philanthropic groups.
All the big publishing houses, filled with their über creatives.
The smaller publishers hungrily looking for talent.

Then I bless them all. I send them love and light.
I imagine myself in their company. I belong there. I am their peer.

As I do that, I imagine the rearrangement of my molecules.
They become charged to the same frequency as the things I am imagining, and the metal shavings start their slow dance in my direction, so to speak.

Shipping containers, cars and refrigerators start flying my way…..Kidding.
(How cool would THAT be?)

But it’s fun to imagine being magnetized so that you can attract to you the people and circumstances you desire.

It’s my own personal super power.
I used it to attract my husband. Shhhhhhhh, he doesn’t know. Let’s just keep that between us.

I KNOW energy can do that.

It delivers control of the seemingly random aspects of life back to us.

You gotta love that.

I do this while I fall asleep, in the car, (no,no, not at the same time), walking the dogs and at the gym. Basically any time I don’t want my mind to wander into the minefield of my negative thoughts and doubts.

Give it a try for fifteen days.
Then report your results back to me.
Much love,
Xox

“Except for the things we did wrong, we did everything right.”
~Will McAvoy The Newsroom

Bravo Aaron Sorkin. I LOVE that line.

I was re-watching last season’s episodes of The Newsroom. I have to do that to get reacquainted with the characters and story line for the upcoming season.
Oh fuck it. Who am I kidding, I have to do it because the dialogue is so rapid fire and smart, that if I blink or chew or fail to focus one hundred percent of my attention on it, I’m lost.

I’m IN LOVE with that particular piece of dialogue because that’s how I feel.

About all of us.

Except for the things we did wrong, we did everything right.

We really are doing okay. 
Better than okay, but I can already feel you bristling, so I’ll stick with okay.

I know. It doesn’t feel like it sometimes.

Hey, except for the things we did wrong, we did everything right.

We’re all doing better than we think.

Listen, we show up everyday.
Our feet hit the floor and with some manner of enthusiasm.
We enter the arena.
We have neither Tom Cruise levels of couch jumping excitement, nor are we living under a bridge with trolls.
We are gamely in the game.
Whatever that means. You know what I mean.

We have shelter and something to eat.
You know how I know that?
Because we have a high speed internet connection, and in the survival handbook, that is third after shelter and food.

We have remorse for those things we did wrong.
Now our job is not to wear it like an anchor around our necks.

We are literate and educated.
I’m taking a leap here, but I feel pretty confident about that.

We’ve all dialed back our inner Neanderthal, serial killer.
We have been able to sidestep prison up until now. If you are incarcerated, tell me about it in the comments below. 

We have our humor.
That I know because you keep checking in each day to see what kind of an ass I’ve made out of myself. Or, what crazy vomit, note burning, vagina checking I’ve been up to lately.
Some of your emails just have Bahahahaha in the subject line.

We are all doing the best we can.
We are judging and criticizing less. We are meditating and attending to our yoga practice and our oral hygiene. I really can’t ask more from you than that.
Maybe cut your toenails?

You know you’re not alone.
Not in your hopes and dreams and not in your various neurosis. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time you should feel extremely reassured.
And incredibly normal.

We’re living responsible lives.
The bills get paid, the kids aren’t dead, the pets aren’t dead, the fish isn’t……

You’re striving to improve yourselves.
This is a spiritual blog at its core, so you’re reading and implementing any and all advise you glean from these pages (Indulge me here).
And, I’m intuitive so I KNOW you are all loving and kind people walking through the world, striving to live your purpose.
Aren’t I good? It’s a talent.

In closing: Except for the things we did wrong, we did everything right.

You’re welcome,

Amen.

Love yoooooooou!
Xox

You can only write me a comment if you’re currently in prison…

“When the personality comes fully to serve the energy of the soul, that is authentic power,”
~Gary Zukav~ “Seat of The Soul”

Do you dare to be original? To show your TRUE self to the world? To fly your freak flag?
Good for you. Most people wouldn’t dare. They’re too afraid of being judged and ridiculed.
So, they don’t start with a joke at their presentation speech, propose the “out of the box” idea at the meeting, wear red socks with the tux or joke with a client during a sale.
They dim their light. They blend in.

Most amazing, authentically powerful people started off on the fringe. Far from the numbing embrace of the center.
They tried the center. It was a bad fit.
Think Martin Luther King Jr., Sir Richard Branson, Steve Jobs and Lady Gaga.
Their actions and ideas seem crazy, they don’t act like the rest of us.
They are authentically, unapologetically themselves.
To. The. Bone.
The energy of their soul has a purpose. And they make damn sure it is fully served by their personality.
They wield incredible power.
They’ve never heard of the phrase: dial it down.
It wouldn’t occur to them to “blend in.” Lucky for us.

Being authentically yourself kills competition. It renders the concept obsolete.
There is only one Gaga, Apple or Virgin Air. There is only ONE you. YOU cannot be duplicated. You can be copied, and although that is supposedly the highest form of flattery, it sets off the BS detectors. We can sniff out the inauthentic impostor over the real thing ANY day.

“God is the water, You are the faucet.”
~Marianne Williamson~

I Iike to say God or the Universe is the electricity, I am the toaster.
When I first started the blog, the writing was very serious. Dry toast.
Serious spiritual writing. How original.
But I was just the toaster, determined to get the word out, so I kept on writing/ toasting. At one point last year, the electricity decided to amp it up, to tap into more of my personality. That must have been interesting, searching in there for the language. I curse like a sailor, tell funny stories, and I love me some sick humor. I assume it knew what it was getting into, but I was scared to death when I wrote it.
Spiritual humor? What’s that?
All that being said, it has made for a better, much more relatable blog.
I’ve said it before; and I’ll say it again. When you are fully yourself, and come from the heart, people dig that shit.

I encourage you to let your soul use your personality. See what happens when you remove the constraints. When you disable the dimmer switch from your light. When you dial it UP instead of down.
To steal from Brene Brown, who was quoting Roosevelt, it is DARING GREATLY. After you’re done throwing up from fear, it will feel empowering. I promise.
Dare to be an original. Your power lies there.

What ways is your soul using YOUR personality? I’d love to hear about it.

Xox

The Muse is clever. She’s a “broad” that has a way with words.
When I sat down to write about the recent energy, with all its starts and stops, she announced: “That’s the Law of Divine Constipation at work. You have the urge to go……..butcha can’t. Frustrating, huh?”
That’s an understatement.

And that’s a new one on me. But I kinda love it. And it describes things perfectly.

Some issues have resolved themselves easily and effortlessly. New projects sailing into fruition, “Like a knife thru buttah.”
Others…..well; others have had a high level of constraint or restriction; a pronounced lack of ease. You have the urge to move quickly on something, only to be thwarted at every turn.

Yep, constipated. Feels like cement. Like you ate a wheel of Brie or a box of matzoh.
Except; you’re compelled to go, go, go.
We’ve all felt held back before. The difference to me is the urgency. I’m raring to go, but there isn’t enough Milk of Magnesia on the planet to get things moving.
It’s going to take TIME.
Even with this overwhelming need to push…….we’ve gotta be patient.
The Muse did tell me a mantra to repeat when the Divine Law of Constipation pays a visit.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

I don’t know about you, but patience is NOT my thing. I don’t even reside in the same zip code as patience. It is my tormentor and my teacher.
But it’s been explained to me that when this constipation takes over, it’s got its reasons. It’s here to serve us. To slow us down. It’s for our benefit. It’s Divine after all.
This spiritually guided constipation comes into play so projects have more gestation time, more time to “cook.” It’s saving us a ton of time and trouble, trying to “get out” of something we have impetuously rushed our speedy little butts into. The object of our desire is clear, our course is set, we are just in a holding pattern waiting for all the pieces to fall into place. It could even become something better. Pushing soon could mess things up.
Well……..when you put it that way.
I thought it was just here to make me miserable, when it’s really here to SAVE me from misery. Nice.

I’m sitting things out, for now, waiting for The Universal Laxative of right timing to kick in.

How about you? You feeling the effects of This Divine Law?
You eager to start something, but getting nothing but red lights? I’d love to hear about it.

Xox

How are you keeping your past alive?
We talked about this on Wednesday night at our group. It was a topic everyone was eager to discuss. It seems there were two reoccurring themes:
A past hurt, or perceived failure or mistake that pays repeated visits to the present; at our invitation. We continue to invite it to lunch or engage in pillow talk in the middle of the night. Its very existence hinges on our continued attention. So it tells us it’s here for our own good. To protect us from further humiliation and shame, it reminds us every day how incredibly flawed we are. It creeps into every decision we make in the present, coloring our perception. It keeps us in pain, feeling unsafe and untrustworthy. 
It is the back seat driver of our lives.

The other way the past stays alive in the present, is in the form of “The Glory Days.” The best times of our life are sadly, behind us. That’s what it tells us. Memories of a better, more carefree, inspired time wash us with nostalgic regret. A golden age where an endless horizon lay ahead. Where we had nothing but time. We felt immortal. Nothing hurt. No bad back or sore shoulder. We took chances, made tons of choices and friends and lived in the moment. Our vacations were epic, our friends were interesting, our bodies were hot and we didn’t even know it. It colors our present with an underlying feeling of melancholy and longing.

Longing for “what was” locks the door on “what is.”

Here’s the thing. 
It’s impossible to drive a car forward, only looking in the rear view mirror.
The past tells you to let IT drive. That’s dangerous.
Let’s let the past advise us. But from far away, maybe Skype, not the back seat. After all, it’s part of what made us who we are.
We don’t want to repeat things that didn’t work out well, but we can’t let that stop us from living. Same with waxing nostalgic for the 90’s. Trust me, it wasn’t better.
The best days of our lives are ahead of us. Time to live in the here and now.

Do you have a situation that keeps the past alive for you? I’d love to know. Does it keep you from enjoying your life, now? I love the comments, tell me about it.

Xox

As I write this, I can feel the soft, cool underbelly of the big, older dog snoozing on my feet.
The puppy appears to be asleep except her eyebrows give her away. They signal that she is following my every move. She is plotting another caper and is patiently waiting for me to quit writing, get up, and leave.

“Everything that falls on the floor is MINE!”

That is their credo, their theme song, and the canine unspoken agreement.
If I’d let them get tattoos, that’s what they’d say.
But that statement gives ME a pit in my stomach. It sparks a crusty, old, unkind memory that hits me like a sucker punch.

“Everything that falls on the floor is MINE!”, is a quote is from the cover of a book about dogs.
It’s kinda funny, but it got me to feeling and thinking, which makes me run to start writing. Isn’t it weird how something as innocuous as the title of a dog book can trigger an emotion?

“Everything that falls on the floor is MINE!”
That is a declaration of ownership of…the scraps.
The stuff that is tainted enough that it isn’t fit for public consumption.
It can’t even pass the five-second rule.
Most likely the crap on the floor came off the bottom of someone’s shoe — literally.

“I call it! It’s mine!” That’s fine for Fido, but not for us.

“Everything that falls on the floor is MINE!”
It is the cover page and the first rule in the Dog’s Life Handbook.
Not ours. Our first rule is “Call Your Mother.”

But what about us? How many times have you and I settled for the scraps in life?
From the blouse at Target that is marked down to 99 cents but is missing a button, (which as much as we say we’re going to—we never replace), to accepting pity sex from your ex-boyfriend?

That shitty “bridge” job that was just supposed to get you through the summer?
What happened? It’s five years later, why are you still there?

I’ve been so broke I have lived off scraps. Specifically, days of leftovers salvaged from one meal or my sister’s “doggie bag” from El Toritos. The irony of the name does not escape me.

I drove a piece of shit car that wanted nothing more in its life than to shimmy sideways.

I’ve also settled for the scraps of affection thrown to me in a dying relationship.
I’ve been seated at the table. I’ve enjoyed the love feast. But when I sensed the end, I did not push away and say my goodbyes with dignity. I dove for the scraps.
Ouch. Oh, hi Fido, funny to see you down here.

I have pretty healthy self-esteem, but there have been some glaring lapses.
I wasn’t alone. Gwen Stefani of the band No Doubt had a hit song “Bath Water” during that time.
Part of the chorus being: ‘Cause I still love to wash in your old bath water, Love to think that you couldn’t love another, Share a toothbrush….you’re my kind of man.’  UGH.

At a certain point, I’m gonna say around my mid thirties, I said: no more scraps.
And I meant it.

No more second-hand clothes, no more beat up chairs-full-of-promise fished out of dumpsters. Enough of the stuff left on the curb because it didn’t make the cut at the neighborhood yard sale. Enough of the sloppy seconds from lovers. I was finished being broke, I was done with settling.
I deserved better than that. I deserved the best.
The best love.
The best life.
The best-made plans.

“Everything that falls on the floor is MINE!”
That is my dog’s credo, I’m clear about that now and they can have it.

Tell me, have you ever settled for the scraps?

Carry on,

Xox

The Vessel Of Divine Mischief
This was on Caroline Myss’ Facebook page yesterday morning. She posts a prayer daily. I follow her because; well; because she rocks. I’ve read all her books and I’ve seen her speak many times. Her writings and lectures prompt profoundly deep and thoughtful soul work. It is neither frivolous nor trite. It is not for the dabbler. I know her to be easy to laugh in person, but not a cut up….AT ALL. There is no inner stand up comedian seeking an audience in Caroline. That’s why I loved this Soooooooo much.

Caroline’s Daily Prayer:
Today I ask for the courage to be a holy troublemaker, a vessel of divine mischief. People far too often assume that there is no humor in spiritual guidance, no “lightness in Light” but the truth is, it is we who are heavy, serious, and burdened by the fears that drape human existence. Let me be a vessel for divine mischief today.

Yes! SHAZAM! That is my mission statement. I am the vessel of divine mischief. My patron saints are:
Our Lady of Perpetual Naughtiness
Our Lady of Divine Irreverence
Our Lady of the Perpetual Potty Mouths
And finally: Our Ladies of General Bitchiness, Brattiness and Snarkiness
My divine mission is to deliver spiritual humor, because this shit can be mind numbingly serious. Don’t get me wrong, I have a deep respect for the material, I just think the delivery system can be lightened up a bit.
Yesterday, I went on WordPress Reader to look up the category of Spiritual Humor.
That is how I tag my blog. I wanted to see what the other vessels of divine mischief were up to. Guess what? I’m the only one.
What?
How can that be?
No other Holy Troublemakers?
That’s all at once awesome……and a crime.

When I first started writing, a year and change ago, it was very different. You can go way back and look. The writing was straightforward, clear and succinct. It wasn’t the least bit funny. The muse trolled my brain for wisdom accrued and then delivered it in the written word, without any trace of my personality whatsoever.
On a motorcycle ride in September of last year, we had a very close call.
(look up Total Loss of Control, the links are not working)
I was still posting every day, so I told the muse to write about the experience. She put out her cigarette in her gin and tonic, gave me the once over and told ME to write it: In my own words. People dig that shit.
Gulp

As I’ve continued to use more of my own life experiences and continue to write in my own voice, that naughty, sassy, funny part of me has shown up.
I’ve become the vessel of divine mischief.
What I write may sometimes be inappropriate and I might not appeal to everyone. Do I want to appeal to everyone? Most certainly not.
I’ve gotten the courage to be the Holy Troublemaker for all the world to read.

When I tell people at dinner parties that I write a Spiritual Humor blog, they look……relieved.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love Deepak, Eckart and Marianne, but man, they can be intense.” they’ll lean in and whisper, while chewing in my ear.
I agree. This was the blog I wanted to read, so I had to write it.
People DO dig this shit, and I dig you people.

I worship at the altar of several other writers who I think should be in the Spiritual Humor category, even the Hall Of Fame.
Anne Lamott, Tosha Siver, and Liz Gilbert. I also love anything the late Nora Ephron ever wrote. She would have killed it in this category. But at least on WordPress for right now, I have it to myself.

Tell me, do you love yourselves some spiritual humor? Since you’re here, I’m guessing you do. Does it make it easier to digest? What’s off limits? Anything?
I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.

Xox

The other night in our awesome Wednesday Women’s group, we talked about being people pleasers and what a dead end street that is.
To be a people pleaser you have to care what other people think. It has to matter to you. A lot. Maybe even enough to alter your behavior, and stifle your badassery.

Everyone is a people pleaser to some degree, no one is immune.
Although, everyone last night has noticed that not all the young people these days are drinking the kool aid. They may do what you want; but they let you know they’re not happy about it. My nephew will NOT be held accountable for my sister’s happiness. He will not sacrifice one iota of “who he is” to be someone she’d like him to be. She loves that….and it bothers her. We want our people to care what we think of them.

He’s a lot like me. My lack of caring what most people thought of me, especially when I was younger, was labeled selfish and conceited. I have never been run of the mill. Shocking, I know. They wanted compliance. It was a constant battle. It’s a different time now. Hallelujah.

When I was a kid and someone said something mean about me, my mom would advise me to: Consider the source. Oh…like step out of my hurt feelings and size up the culprit?
That was genius, and I do it to this day. I highly recommended it to my Wednesday women.
If someone criticizes you or asks you to do something you really don’t want to do, who is that person? What’s their motivation? To control you? To put conditions on their love?
Uh oh…that’s a big one.

What I began to notice over and over again is that they are usually the “un-pleasable” that live among us. No matter how many thank you notes you send, phone calls you make, cupcakes you bake, bridal showers you throw or airport pick ups you do, it’s never enough. You will be tap dancing as fast as you can to THEIR music, and it’s still never right.
So why bother.
I’d rather be happy.
I don’t give a rat’s ass what they wish I’d do or say or be.
It’s very liberating. It’s not easy. There will be name calling.
Oh well.

I DO care what some people think.
There is a core group that I’ve formed and you can too. My group is small.
They are vetted, trusted comrades. They love me and offer constructive criticism and the truth. They have soft eyes and a loving tone when they tell me what they think. Even if it’s harsh. They get my badassery and they’re not looking to change me. THOSE are the people whose opinions I seek and cherish.
The peanut gallery can go to hell. 

If you want to be truly happy, and live a big, amazing life, I suggest you stop looking for other people’s approval. You will never write a blog or do musical theatre if you care. There will always be those that tell you you’re not doing it right.
Consider the source. Is that person an exemplary example of all that you want to be? Probably not. Those people don’t deliver their message that way.
Stop looking around and consider the source. You can quote me on that.

Xox Janet

Were you or have you ever been a people pleaser? Does this push a button?
Conversation time in the comments below! Share a story.