guidance

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”
– Dr. Seuss

In an interview he did in 2007, Peter O’Toole, that beautiful, blue eyed, scalawag actor, was asked the question, “What do you want written on your tombstone”?

He leaned back and told the story of his beloved tattered leather jacket.
He said it was soaked in sweat, covered in blood, Guinness and cornflakes?!
Which of course made it his favorite.
Eventually it went to the cleaners.
It came back with a note pinned to it, that all these years later still made him chuckle.
It read:

“It distresses us to return work which is not perfect”

That’s was his answer, and I couldn’t agree more!
Because otherwise, what’s the point!?

When I leave this mortal coil, I want to be “distressed.”
I want to show I’ve lived.
That perhaps it wasn’t a pure and “perfect” life, but dammit! It was a life well lived!

Just like his jacket, I want to be worn in, with the wrinkles and scars to prove it.
I want to be covered in sweat, and dog hair, with smeared lipstick and wine stains.
…Maybe even cornflakes!

I want unpaid parking tickets in the pockets.
Along with a motorcycle key and a wad of foreign currency.

I want the leather to smell like a combination of caramel,tobacco, Shalimar, and coffee,
I want it left on the back of a chair in George Clooney’s suite in a Paris Hotel.

I want to remain perfectly imperfect.

Then I want to be “returned to sender, postage due.”

How about you?
Xox

Do you suppose if a wound is real deep, the healing of it can hurt almost as bad as what caused it?
~Spitfire Grill~

As the anniversary of Sandy Hook approaches I’m reminded of 
how unbearable the healing process must be like for the family of the victims. 
Yet, every time I see or read an interview I am completely knocked out by the courage and resilience these ordinary people are exhibiting.

Grief is such a solitary emotion, NO ONE can make you feel better.
People can help you, 
they can feed you, 
they can sit with you, 
and even share their experiences, but ultimately you are alone on your path as you wade through that Valley of Darkness.
The darkness is tangible, no flashlight, not even a match to light your way.

Some days the emotions come in waves so strong they knock you completely off balance, 
on your ass, 
where you may remain for several hours…or days.

What I’m finding so incredibly uplifting is that these parents of the children and families of the educators that perished, seem to be able to let the light in.
They are getting up, and forming foundations and organizations in their loved ones honor.
They are having all sorts of dreams and spiritual visions of their kids,
And…they are letting the love flow in.

Ian Hockley, father of Dylan, who was one of the first graders killed last year, said this in a recent interview, regarding navigating his grief:

“So you’ve got to flip it around, Everything is about flipping emotions. Not hate, no hate. Flip it over. The other side is love, right? Take that and build, because once you push the hate out, the love just flows in.”

I just find that so remarkable and inspiring!
There is forgiveness in there,
There is compassion in there
There is so much courage it makes me weep.

He’s just a regular guy who lost his son,
He’s not the Dali Lama,
Or Ghandi,
Yet he’s made the choice, for his own well being to release the hate,
and let the love flow in.
And I’m convinced the world is better for it,
which means this tragedy was not in vain.

Xox Janet

I don’t know if any of you have done a remodel, or any kind of
major construction to your “nest”.

I’m asking because it sucks.

It is nerve racking at best, a relationship buster at worst.
When you witness the demolition, you just can’t IMAGINE
the finished product will materialize from that giant, dusty, dirty mess!
All you can see is what’s in front of you:
A freaking debris pile that looks NOTHING close to what you want!

My husband, being a designer/ builder often talks about that certain point
in the construction phase, where everyone loses their patience and the homeowner’s head explodes!

I experienced that phase first hand during our renovation.
My head did explode.
There should be a support group for that.

After the foundation is laid, things change every day.
It’s especially exciting when the framing happens because your dream starts to take form and you can physically SEE what has only lived as lines on a blueprint.

Then….days and days and days go by, and it seems as if the project has stalled.
Where for weeks you’ve woken up to the sound of nail guns,
now…crickets..

You’re convinced everyone has run to Rio with your money, leaving you living in a popsicle stick house.

What is taking place, is the rough electrical and plumbing, but it’s hidden inside the walls!
It is the nervous system of your home, and is critical to the finished product,
But DAMNIT !! It’s INVISIBLE!

I keep coming back to this memory, this time of reconstruction, to conjure my…FAITH.
I had to maintain my faith then, and I’m doing it now.
Just like back then, there is caution tape,
and a porta potty present, as my life is currently under construction.

Problem is…I can’t see any forward movement.
All the work is happening underneath and inside, and the progress seems
imperceptible from here.

It is critical to the integrity and structure of my dream, I know!
I keep picturing the Universe hard at work behind the scenes,
Kinda like Santa.
And my faith tells me things will eventually show their face in the physical,
just like the remodel did.

And, if I was a betting girl, I’d bet my head will not explode this time.

Stay tuned
XoxJanet

Words don’t teach.
It’s the emotions triggered by the energy on the page.
Isn’t that amazing!

It’s not the sentence structure so much as the words that are chosen.
They create a resonance, an energy match so to speak.
You get an “Ah ha” moment, which means the barrier of resistance is broken down,
and that allows the “light of insight” in!

You remember that depiction of the lightbulb over someone’s head
when they have a great idea or epic insight?

That turns the pen into a kind of magic wand,
a conduit that transports thoughts and ideas from one persons head 
or heart into another’s.

Words can make us laugh,
They can make us cry,
They can trigger lost memories,
and impart profound wisdom.
Words can sooth a soul…or break your heart

All that happens, when your own energy matches the energy on the page,
which is conveyed by the…words.

Have you ever re read a book only to discover whole paragraphs you don’t remember?
I’ve even had chapters that I swore I missed, like the pages were stuck together or something! That’s how unfamiliar the text felt to me!
What really happened was I was not an energetic match to the material at the time
I first read it. 
It never stuck. Not in my brain, certainly not in my heart.

Songs are even more powerful because you’re combining the energy behind the words with the vibrations of the different tones.
It is especially effective in letting the light in when you sing, because your cells literally vibrate from the resonance in your body and your resistance lowers immensely.

Maybe you don’t sing, ( you’re lying, you do, loudly, in the car, I know)!
But you can try this:
When you “OM” during a meditation, 
that tone starts open and in your head,
then changes as it closes, and goes deep into your chest.
It’s like a mystical yawn, it’s full of oxygen.
It grounds you, and changes you.

Where words are holy,
Music is sacred.
And there you go!
Holy and sacred, 
two words that carry an energy that 
speaks to your soul.

There come times in our lives when things suddenly change.
They go south,
The wheels fall off the cart.

But instead of becoming panicky—use your art of negotiation!

Children are masters at this.
Watch, listen and learn.
They will negotiate everything from bedtime, computer time, to eating kale.

No subject is off-limits.
If they think they can sway the situation to their advantage, high level diplomatic talks begin.

My friend calls her son Henry Kissinger.
In his world EVERYTHING is open for negotiation.
As much as this irks her, she also admires it.
He’s gotten so good, that sometimes she doesn’t realize until later, that he worked her.

No isn’t always no, it’s a very firm maybe.

Why do we lose that skill as adults?
We kinda take things at face value,
Everything’s a done deal.

If done correctly, negotiating things in life could have a ripple effect.
Using our imaginations to offer an eyelash to the tooth fairy,
so to speak, could inspire others to have that same cleverness when
things appear to go wrong, and THAT’S a world I’d like to live in!
Xox Janet