failures

“On every fourth step, you are meant to fall down. Not occasionally, not once, not twice, but on every fourth step.

The ground opens up, the wind blows, a branch hits you in the head, you trip on stones, your heart breaks, you’ve got to fold the laundry, and they’ve closed the two left lanes.

Here on the fourth step, all the forces gather together to stop you. And some people, when they fall down, they lie there for the rest of their lives.

And some people learn how to fall-down-get-up. That is one move. Fall-down-get-up.”
~ Naomi Newman

Hey loves,
You know how when a little kid falls down before they even get up they look for their mom?

As a parent you are certain of two things and possibly ONLY two things.
1. Kids fall down. A lot.

1. Avoid eye contact after a fall (unless there is blood or the “silent cry”), because the minute they see your face—they’ll burst into tears. We’ve all seen it.  It’s uncanny.

They gage their response on yours. If you get hysterical, you’re gonna have a mess on your hands.

When we were kids parenting was different. Moms weren’t helicopters. They were Uber drivers who only came when called…after you told them your location…and waited five minutes.

I was born clumsy. Still am. I can fall over while seated.
I took my first steps at nine months and spent the rest of my childhood on roller skates. As a kid I was impossibly lanky with round feet, absolutely no sense of coordination, and a jinky center of gravity—and I fell. Not every fourth step. More like every other step. I was on the ground more than I was upright. That being said, one of my first memories is my mom’s response to what seemed to me to be a life threatening fall (kids are horrible judges of the severity of their mishaps.)

“Oops”, she said in a sing-song voice “You dropped yourself!”

Oh, right…I dropped myself. Well…she doesn’t seemed too concerned…and any sentence that starts with “oops” can’t be bad…huh…I dropped myself so I guess I’ll just…pick myself up.

Throughout my life, whenever I fall, (literally or figuratively), I can hear her calm, unwavering voice, “Oops, you dropped yourself” and it puts it all back into perspective.

Then I jump back up!

Oh, who am I kidding? I at least start thinking about getting my ass back up.

Resilience. And underreacting. Definitely two of the best lessons she ever taught me.

Carry on,
xox

How do you handle a fall? Share your secrets. I know you have ’em.

If you’re like me, I can bet that you’d just as soon forget some dances from your past.

I engaged in some pretty sketchy moves. I did. I may have tangoed with a few men, a rose held firmly in my frozen grin, who I realize now were not the best dance partners for me.
But I have to admit—it was fuuuuun.

I, the woman with two left feet, may have attempted Bob Fosse choreography at the age of fifty-four, and I cringe every time it comes to mind.
Which is never.
I never need to remember that.
Right?

But I danced with a chair. And the chair had better moves.
And I’ve never laughed so much in my entire life!

What about all of the partnering that has danced me to where I’m standing right now?
The collaboration and the joy?
Just thinking about it makes me smile.
And cringe.
But mostly smile.

Life is a dance. We make it up as we go along and it is stunning in its complexity.
A beautiful series of fast footwork and sidesteps, backwards motion and even a few graceful leaps into the air that carry us where we need to go—and nobody, NOBODY—can take that away from us.

Not even ourselves.

Carry on,
xox

Sometimes we have no idea what the Universe has in store for us.
We can have our sails aimed into the wind, sailing full speed ahead,
when in an instant, lightening will strike, and a giant wave will capsize
us and shred our boat.

We think we have it all figured out. I KNOW I did!

But life took me by the shoulders and spun me around.
Just like my mom did when I was a kid and told her I had washed my face, when it was evident I needed to be sent back to the bathroom.
It shook me a little and sent me packing, 
in the exact opposite direction of where I thought I should be going.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I can tolerate, 
even appreciate, a little course correction at times.
But I don’t like drama, and I like to think I don’t draw it in.
This was something so ridiculously out of left field, 
It was a total loss of my business!
Overnight!

I had plenty of insurance, so I wasn’t worried…in the beginning.
With the other stores having 12 inches of water damage and my store having 4 feet,
Recovery mode looked different for me.
It wasn’t clothes and shoes that had gotten wet,
Or cosmetic damage like at the restaurant,
I had furniture and art, lamps and leather chairs and stuff that just shouldn’t sit 
Immersed in four feet of filthy water for 6 hrs.

I heard everyone saying “at least three weeks to get back up and running”
Did I want to get back up and running?
Things really hadn’t felt like they were “running” at that point,
More like a slow stroll, or a pathetic commando crawl.
Would I even be able to repair the inventory?
Lord knows, I didn’t have the capitol to buy more.

That’s when the first of two miracles occurred.
I even knew they were miracles at the time, THAT’S how 
“In your face” they were.

Xox Janet
(To be continued)…