energy

*Hi you guys,
I like what Danielle has to say here, especially numbers 3,4 & 5.
Oh, and number 2 and number 9 are good also!
Okay, I like them all—read on!
xox

The problem with manifestation techniques and what that psychic told you. (Plus 9 principles for predicting and manifesting.)

The problem with a lot of prediction & manifestation techniques is that we tend to forget that other humans are involved in our manifesting. And we can’t control other humans — as much as we’d LOVVVE to. Other humans = variables and complications and heaps of crazy free will.
For instance, that Soul Mate you have your eye on, they actually have their own life plans. (I know babe, their life would be SO much better if you were in it. I know.) And that big gig you’re gunning for, well there’s a cadre of players and circumstances involved — circumstances that are so out of your control.

But, alongside the realities that you can’t sway, is the very powerful force of magical, miracle thinking. Material and ethereal.

Realism + magic = manifestation power. Predictions + openness = even MORE manifestation power.

A FEW PRINCIPLES FOR PREDICTING & MANIFESTING. (And yes, they are paradoxical.)

Manifesting Principle #1: Free will.
You can’t control much outside of yourself. And it doesn’t matter if three psychics said that you and So n’ So were SO going to get it ON this summer. You can’t out-will someone’s free will. (Unless you’re an evil dictator, but we’re talking about ethical dream-realization.)

Manifesting Principle #2: Anything is possible.
Anything. You could get discovered in an elevator. Your twin flame could find you in a cabin in the middle of Alaska during a snowstorm. The admissions officer could play golf with your dad. Miracles happen ALL the time — crazy intersections and cosmic conspirations that bring it all together just for you and right on time. Believe.

Manifesting Principle #3: The future can be seen and felt.
External psychic input can be extremely valuable for navigating — I have oracles and mediums I call on often. Just like the lady empath Troy on Startrek, I think organizations should have a refined clairvoyant on their staff.

As for time predictions from clairvoyants, astral time is not the same as Earth time. So at best, timing forecasts are 50/50. Also…the channeller effects the message. Every medium puts their fingerprint on what they deliver to you. That can be good, bad, or neutral. It’s just something to be aware of.

We can often sense what’s coming — we just act like we can’t. Either way, keep in mind Principles #1 and #2.

Manifesting Principle #4: You have multiple possible futures — each of which could be equally incredible.
10,000 Soul mates. 900 once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. 340 winning tickets. Infinite big breaks. Meditate on multiple pleasurable outcomes and you will loosen your grip on things being exactly how you “think” you want them to be.

Manifesting Principle #5: “Hasn’t happened yet” means just that — not YET.
Because something hasn’t occurred in our desired timeframe, doesn’t mean that it’s never going to happen.

Manifesting Principle #6: The universe has a way better imagination than you do.
My life has no resemblance to what I thought it was going to be — and I’m impressed with where failure, and courage, and the mystery have brought me. More colourful. More expanded. Way deeper. Way better than I imagined.

Manifesting Principle #7: Things change — YOU change.
What you and your astrologer predict for you today could be on target. But you could do something tomorrow to alter that course or create a wrinkle in time. Changing.

Manifesting Principle #8: Pre-determinism is total bullshit. FREE WILL REIGNS SUPREME.

Manifesting Principle #9: Life really is what you make it. Live full out today. And it’s from there that the future unfolds.

All Love,
Danielle
https://www.daniellelaporte.com

Lately my happiness has been so conditional it’s not even funny. So Seriously NOT funny you guys!

If my happiness relies on the people and circumstances around me being just so, well, …I’m fucked.

So I’ve pretty much lived in and out of my own fuckdom these past few weeks; and maintaining the least bit of equilibrium has been work.

Hard work is an understatement . It is some of the hardest work I can remember.

Meaning: I’ve had to be mindful. I’ve had to meditate, distract myself, bite my tongue, walk outside, listen to music and REALLY deliberately center myself to maintain happiness from moment to moment—from the inside, out.

I’m here to report that its been harder than I expected and I’ve screwed up and been launched onto the rocks quite a few times.
I have the scraps and bruises to prove it.

Previous to the end of July things had felt pretty good. Things had been on track. Things and been humming along nicely, and in truth, MY immediate things are still humming a happy little tune; but this eye of the hurricane which I’ve found myself traversing feels precarious.

All around me high velocity chaos is whooshing and roaring, leaving me flummoxed and dizzy. If you look close inside the shitstorm you can probably see me clicking my heels, shouting loudly over the din to maintain that secure feeling of calm.
There’s no place like clarity!
Theres no place like peace!
There’s no place like happiness!
Whoosh……………………rocks.

I actually had this thought the other day: Can we even trust happiness?
For most of us it is so fickle; fleeting and conditional, that the safer money would be to bet on sadness.
Sadness is a given.
Sadness is reliable and punctual. It never RSVP’s, why would it bother? It always shows up.
Sadness is trustworthy, it never disappoints.

“Fifty percent happy, fifty percent sad, THAT is the Ideal Life Ratio.”

I was once told that if you could maintain that ratio, keeping the scales balanced equally between the two, that was an amazing accomplishment and a life well lived.

Really? Fifty percent was the best I could hope for?
Do those sound like good odds to you? Not me.
I didn’t agree with those odds then and I still don’t, and neither should you.

You give me fifty-fifty, and I want more! People, we need to have higher aspirations.

I like my bacon well done, my eggs over medium, and I like my happiness the same way I like my love—unconditional, or at least as unconditional as humanly possible.

If I can manage to disentangle my happiness from the circumstances that surround me, I stand a much better chance of maintaining it. But how?

First I had to know, without a shadow of a doubt that I control NOTHING. I have absolutely NO control over anyone or anything. The ONLY control I have is over my own feelings, thoughts, and perceptions.

Whew! What a relief!

I know if I join the swirling chaos, even for a few minutes, the current carries me away, off into the rocks of confusion, powerlessness, and ultimately—sadness, and often it wasn’t even my own shit. I let someone else’s shit sweep me away. Bravo me.

So…what to do?

What if I could accomplish the seemingly impossible?

What if I could witness a bunch of shitstorms around me, but not get sucked in? What if I could help in whatever way possible, but maintain a secure lifeline back to my own clarity, calm and happiness.

Holy shit! What a life-changer that could be!
To no longer be at the whim of every assjack on the other end of a phone or steering wheel!
To no longer fall down the rabbit hole of an illness! To no longer fall prey to doubt or disappointment of myself or others!
To no longer let fear spin me around and around while wearing a blindfold and holding scissors!

Unconditional happiness. What? That’s right, you heard me!
Happiness based only on what’s going on INSIDE not OUTSIDE of me. The eye of the hurricane. Literally.

But Man! I’ve gotta tell ya, it takes a LOT of focus!
It is some of the hardest work I’ve ever done and I’ve gotta say, it’s a lot easier to let yourself go to sad, (or crabby, or teary, or pissed, same thing).

Sometimes, it even makes fifty percent look like a blessing…

Ideal Life Ratio my ass! Not for me!
Eighty/Twenty. That’s MY goal.
Hard work I know, but I’m worth it.

Carry on my peeps,
xox

*Stepping out of the shadows; no more lies; no more hiding; no more cloak and dagger. Time for the fresh air of truth to come sweeping in and cleaning out the cobwebs so we can just get the hell on with our lives!
Am I right?
I’m turning over every rock right now you guys,(check out The Observer’s Voice Facebook page for an essay about the 888 energy from yesterday), to make some sense of the last couple of weeks.

Many of you have been commenting, emailing and texting me all of your what the fuck’s? and I’m right there with ya baby, in the thick of it too!
So…A lot of this resonated, some didn’t, but that’s okay, you know the drill: Take what feels right and disregard the rest.

Hang in there guys, we’re rounding the bases, headed for home.
Sending lots of love, hugs, and slaps on the ass your way,
xoxJanet

Combining Head and Heart and Astrology Forecast August 9-15

By Leo Knighton Tallarico

We are working our way through an important turning point in our lives. This past week, since Saturn went Direct on August 2, has brought us to a shift in our consciousness and life. For some this may be rather subtle energetically, but for others it is much more obvious.(um, yeah!)

Perhaps something has come to light that you were not fully aware of before; or perhaps an event happened that turned your thinking; perhaps someone else has revealed something about themselves or you that you were not fully aware before. Maybe a light switch went on in your mind or heart that shows you the way to go now.

This turning point time period will give way to a sense of new beginnings after the New Moon in Leo on Friday August 14. That New Moon will be at 10:53 AM EDT.

The lunar cycle begun at this New Moon in Leo will lead to a very important lunar cycle that will begin at the Solar Eclipse New Moon in Virgo on September 13. The Solar Eclipse will be followed by a powerful Total Lunar Eclipse Full Moon in Aries on September 27. That is called by some a Blood Moon as it is the 4th Lunar Eclipse in row that is a Total Lunar Eclipse, a rare occurrence.

And all 4 of these Total Lunar Eclipses happen on sacred Jewish dates.

And this turning point we are moving through now- included Saturn going Direct while making close aspect to Jupiter, Venus and Mercury- all right at Israel’s natal Mars placement.

So something is really stirring around Israel. And this last week during this turning point time, much has been happening with the Iranian nuclear deal, a deal that is passionately opposed by Israel.

One of Israel’s top officials commented this past week that Israel is considering bombing Iran’s nuclear facilities regardless of this deal that was struck with UN countries.

That would likely touch off a major Middle East and perhaps world conflict.

Iraq, Libya, and Syria are suffering largely because of foreign invasions or influences, and the Islamic State is strongly influential now in those and other countries in the Middle East.

And President Obama’s nuclear deal with Iran is also being challenged by hawkish elements in the USA Congress, in Iran, in Israel and other countries.

Look for more clues, signs and synchronicities this week to tell you what may be coming to the Middle East and elsewhere during the upcoming Eclipse Season.

And this is also true for your own life. The turning point time period will shift into Drive Gear at the New Moon in Leo on August 14. But before Friday keep in mind we are in the last quarter phase of the Moon’s cycle.

So this week before the New Moon in Leo, we will be picking up the emotional pieces from the last few weeks, processing our experiences, and getting ourselves ready for renewed action and greater intensity. Do your best to not let energies of depression control you before this New Moon, but nevertheless allow your soul to come down into its truth even if that truth will tend to “bring you down”.

We have been getting more into our heart and its wisdom and connections during these last few weeks. With a New Moon in Leo and Mars going into Leo on Saturday August 8, there is still going to be a strong focus on heart and creative energies.

What makes your heart sing, what and whom is your heart into, how much can you open your heart to express the authentic being that you are by nature? How much can you improve your self-expression and self esteem-enough to put the controlling ego in the back seat of your life?

But along with this heart emphasis we will be integrating the earthy mental vibes of Virgo. Mercury went from Leo to Virgo this last Friday August 7 and Jupiter will enter Virgo (where it will stay for about a year) this Tuesday August 11.

Virgo is the sign after Leo, and as such it tends to humble the Lion’s big roar of pride. Virgo can also bring some shame to the bravado of Leo, its self focus and its big-hearted honesty. Sometimes big-hearted honesty can hurt others like when a little child passes an overweight person and says “look mommy at that fat man”. Honest and innocent but not aware of its effect on others.

So be ready as we begin to get more Virgo influence of needing to combine more your head with your heart. Your head is your heart’s important advisor and needs to be consulted on important matters. And with Mercury ruling the head of mind and communication, its loves to be in Virgo.

Virgo analyzes, finds “what’s wrong with this picture”?, and generally brings one down into the details of cold reality.

So watch for “reality” to begin to come more into play now, and for a greater need to fix or heal what has been broken or injured.

Jupiter in Virgo will make expansive energies be more grounded in practical and logical ways. Inspiration will need to combine with needs to manifest, not just fly into new ideas that are never earthed.

There will need to be more order to one’s aspirations and dreams.

This may sound like a “downer” to some free spirits. But if you want your spirit to serve your purposes for being here on this Earth at this important time, then you will get some help over the next year to make that more real.

Keep in mind also this week that Venus is still Retrograde and will be until September 6. At this turning point time period, there will tend to be new insights and light shone on important relationships and their patterns and habits.

As you move through this New Moon in Leo, you will be driving your life car forward even if you do not completely know what has recently shifted in your important relationships. Since the turning point is passing, this New Moon will be bringing you forward into a more certain relationship destiny, even if much still needs to be revealed to your conscious mind.

Till next week,

Leo

Leo Knighton Tallarico has been a full-time professional astrologer, spiritual guide, counselor, and writer for 30 years.

https://spiritualtherapy.wordpress.com/2015/08/08/2145/#like-2145

SERIOUS SCIENTIFIC DATA ABOVE^

This has been a week, and not one that I will look back on fondly.
Not to get all doom and gloomy on ya, but last week sucked. Big time.

There were so many things thwarted, such despicable levels of mis-communication,
so. many. clusterfucks. that I suspect they were being trucked in from the mouth of hell.
And I don’t even believe in hell!

Undiagnosable illnesses, lab results………………………………………………pending.
Crazy unexplainable accidents and money missing. Gone!
Appointments missed with no explanation and traffic for no reason. At seven-thirty in the morning; noon; three-fifteen; and midnight.
Traffic! For no good reason!

Fights.
Texts gone bad.
I want to write a book someday on the dangers of texting.
DO NOT TEXT IMPORTANT SHIT. Pick up the phone and make the two-minute call. I can’t garner the nuance, your tone of voice or your sarcasm, FROM A TEXT!
No emoticon is sufficient.
Just so you know, everything you texted made you sound like a douche last week.

As much as I tried to OMMMM my way above the fray, I got dragged down into it where it bloodied my nose and ruined my favorite shoes.

At three o’clock on Friday morning I found myself violently ill. (It’s not what you’re thinking.)
There I lay, alternating between sweating and chills, nausea and diarrhea, lunacy and sanity. I actually watched myself from a much more comfortable vantage point somewhere outside my body, Lamaze breathing my way through wave after wave of energy the strength of which I’ve seldom felt before. (See, I told you.)

“Full Moon” were the only two words I was able to croak to my husband who was in the midst of his own dark energy, awefulizing, 3 a.m. marathon. It wasn’t that the energy was actually dark. It just felt relentless and oppressive as it built all week (Who am I kidding? It was all month and most likely all year), and the release looked a lot like a Mento wafer in a bottle of Coke.

It felt like the mother of all detoxes. Because it was you guys!
It was that kind of Blue Moon. Purging, letting go of the past and all of its pent-up anger, frustration, resentment, fear, lack of sleep and just the general angst and malaise that’s been building up.

Oh shit, I thought, I just wrote about this. You can’t run clear water through gucked up pipes.
You want to be a clear channel for clarity, creativity, intuition, inspiration, ideas, luck, fun and love—you’ve gotta clean out the pipes occasionally.

Fuck. Sometimes I hate being right. I make ME mad.

As I sat on the bathroom floor the next morning still in the throes of it all, waiting to see if my body could actually produce more vomit, I began to see the pattern, or I became delusional, your call. I can admit to getting philosophical with no sleep on bathroom floors.

Oh…I’m finally getting how this works now. Clean the pipes (literally). One step (day) backward, before I lunge forward. Get rid of the accumulated gunk, so the energy can flow clearer and faster.

UGH.

I had a brief glimmer of insight, which, for a moment had me feeling better and then I was back to hurling. So much for knowing what’s going on—you still have to get through it.

Eventually it passed, just like it always does, and I was able to salvage the remainder of my Friday, and fit into my skinny jeans (yeah).

When I mentioned what happened to a couple of my friends, they told me that they too had been clearing up their gunk. Not necessarily in the same way as I had, but effective for them just the same, and we all agreed to chalk this week up as a sucking vortex of everything that could go wrong. In other words—a Universal shitastrophe.

One of them admitted to coming home feeling like a jacked-up pressure cooker; so he buried his face in a pillow and banchee-screamed—something he hasn’t done in decades. He was so hoarse afterwards he had a hard time speaking. But he felt much better.

Oh, that’s good. I like that. I’m gonna steal that one.

I’d be curious to know, what’s your process?

I for one, after all my…purging, feel cleaner (duh) clearer and lighter and I’m looking forward with great anticipation to the lunge forward. How about you?

Carry on,
xox

So…
I found this handy-dandy chart online and then I immediately lost the next two hours looking at the different energy centers—and self diagnosing.

Oh… anger is stored there…interesting…that explains SO much.

That old pit in the stomach. Fear. I knew that.

Shoulder and neck pain? Yeah, me too, like every day of my life. Carrying the weight of the world?
Hey! Me too! Wait a minute, If I’m carrying the world’s weight—and you are too—why does mine feel so freaking heavy?

I remember certain Yoga classes where a pose or a stretch would send me into an emotional tailspin, unleashing the Kraken and freeing up all the pent-up junk that had taken up residence inside my hips, torso and thighs. I would always feel a hundred percent better after class, a good cry, and an Epsom salt bath.

Yoga is great if you’re looking to release stored emotions. So is exercise. And dance. Anything that moves the body.

Rolfing is good too. Rolfing is a very deep tissue massage, you know, the kind that hurts so good. I don’t ever think I’ve left a Rolfing session without crying—partly from the pain, and partly due to the deep emotional release it triggers.

And that’s the thing you guys. You WANT to release those stored emotions, otherwise there’s a very good chance they’ll make you sick.

So get out there! Dance! Do some yoga! Walk in nature! Release! Release! Release!

Okay, I’m off to get a shoulder massage. I need to set the weight of the world down, just for a little while.

Carry on,
xox

*Okay you guys!
I’m reading a lot about the energy coming in surrounding this rare “blue moon” on Friday and this article by Tania Gabrielle says it the best.
Big, positive changes!
Can I get a Hip, Hip, Hurrah!?
xox

A rare “Blue Moon” on July 31 is an invitation to welcome blessings into your life.

“Blue Moon” is the term for a second Full Moon in the SAME month. This rare phenomenon will not appear again until 2018.
The first Full Moon was in Capricorn on July 1. Now we’re saying farewell to July with a special blue moon.
As if that’s not enough, the energy of this Blue Moon is being magnified by Venus which turned retrograde on July 25 – one of five planets retrograding in a span of a week.

IT’S TRULY A MAJOR MOMENT OF TRANSITION!

We’ve all been asked to slow down – and reflect.
We’re on the edge of something wonderful…

With Venus retrograding one week prior to the full moon, the emphasis on romantic relationships is strong right now and moving all the way through August into September.
You’ll start to understand your intimate relationships, including recognizing who your soul-mate is, if you haven’t already.

What’s more, you’ll see the importance of moving out of your comfort zone.
NO BREAKTHROUGHS EVER HAPPEN WHILE YOU’RE COMFORTABLE!

Sometimes we choose to experience hardships. We unconsciously do this in order to see what is good and right for us.
Now is one of those moments you have come to the threshold.
You’re on the verge of a big, conscious AHA moment.
But … YOU have to initiate the change. Remember, you have the power to resist what’s good for you – a resistance that stems from fear.

KEEP IN MIND, THE UNIVERSE BRINGS YOU WHAT YOU’RE READY FOR.

And now more than ever it’s getting harder to deny JOY!

http://numerologist.com/portal/numerology/july-31-full-moon-forecast-why-this-rare-blue-moon-in-aquarius-is-going-to-let-your-blessings-flow/?utm_medium=email&utm_content=Blue-Moon&utm_campaign=Blue-Moon-Forecast&utm_source=fbfnr&vtid=fbfnr00LABuyer&email=atikhome@me.com&a=9410641-cc4360&lifepath=6&expression=6&soulurge=6&dob=

Happy Independence Day to all Americans who are reading this far and wide.

Carry on you independent ones,
xox

The house is still. It’s the middle of the night so…that’s appropriate.

The only sound I can hear is the soft whrrrrr of the refrigerator, which spends its nights keeping my kale and green drink ingredients cool and fresh.

Damn you stainless steel box of cold air! (yelled dramatically while waving a fist).

Rant Alert:
Why can’t my protein, vegetable laden juices taste like a chocolate malt?
WHHHYYYYYY??
Is that too much to ask?

I’m submitting a formal complaint right here and now. Things that are good for you have GOT to start tasting better…or else…

Anyway…
My refrigerator has undergone a recent renaissance.
It seems to follow my life’s trajectory. Right now it’s all cleanses, bitter greens and shit like that.

I’m home most days writing, so I give myself very few options. It keeps me from cheating with fat infused deliciousness.

Like a fat deli sandwich. Or a patty melt.

As a matter of fact there is nothing delicious within a three-mile radius. I’d have to get in my car and drive to go get it, and my laziness overrules my cravings for gooey goodness every time.

That means technically, I’m not an addict, which gives me some solace.

What I am is: a vessel seeking clarity…with a bad attitude…in dire need of a cheeseburger.

For about two decades the freezer in my apartment contained two things: vodka and cigarettes (if you’re just a casual smoker, keeping cigs in the freezer keeps them fresh) not even an ice-cube dared show its face. Later, ground coffee replaced the cigarettes.

Quick story about how THAT happened.
Back in ’93 when I had my first “energy work” done, a friend came by the apartment to get the dirt. Remember, I had been violently ill for three days.

She was one of my gossip girls, so she knew about the cigcicles, and since she could tell my story was going be juicy and warrant a smoke, she walked over to the kitchen, which was just to the left of where I was sitting, and opened the freezer.

Suddenly, she jumped back, as if she’d seen a ghost, dramatically slamming the thing shut. I watched it all happen, puzzled.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her, with my head tilted sideways like a dog hearing a high-pitched whistle.

My friend still standing in front of the closed freezer door replied, “A voice just said DONT SMOKE AROUND HER!”
“What?”
“Shit, I’d better go”

Man, the disembodied voices in my apartment in those days were bossy!

“Sit your ass down, I’ve got a story to tell.” I barked, taking a page out of their book.

And THAT was the end of my casual smoking.

I tried one occasionally in the years that followed but they made me feel awful, and when something stops being fun, I quit doing it. Think Jane Fonda Workouts.

So, back to the middle of the night as I tossed and turned and awfulized—mulling over all of life’s ginormous decisions.

I finally made the first one and that was to switch my brain from F*U mode to productive mode, remembering all the recent things I’ve heard and read on making life altering choices when you’re at a crossroads.

So, to save you the obsessing and the time and trouble, here is a list of the things you should ask yourself:

1) Will I regret not making this change? (Regrets are like walking around with a wet coat on. They are killjoys.)

2) Why exactly am I hesitant/ indecisive? Make a list. (The list that you make in the light of day will always be shorter than the phone book sized one you make at three AM…just sayin’).

3) What doors will close if I make this change? Do I care? (That one makes my butt clench. Here’s a great quote from Mark Nepo for the people pleasers among us: “I tried so hard to please that I never realized; No one was watching.”
Right!? Did the top of your head just blow off? Mine too)

4) Which choice will make the better story? (kinda like the movie viewing analogy from Saturday’s post.)

5) How does the choice or change FEEL? (that really should be number one. Check your kishke).

6) What’s the worst thing that can happen? (consult your three AM list, believe me, they’re ALL there).

7) Whats the BEST thing that can happen? (usually written on a Post It)

8) What would I tell my best friend to do? (sans snarkiness, jealousy, competitiveness and ego).

9) What’s the “next right thing” to do to stay free of ego? (In other words, check your motivation. Is it pure? Not really? THERE’S your answer.)

10) What choice or change would make me the proudest in five years? (That’s often the clincher for me. Can’t say I’m too proud of myself when I can’t be brave and I play it safe.)

There you have it. I hopes this helps. Clarity is key to making the best choices. That and chocolate.
Love you all,

Xox

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.
– T. S. Eliot

The End is where we start from…hmmmmmm…

Yesterday was about endings; and about calling my power back. I have to walk the talk, right?

For over two weeks I was so knotted up about it that I had knitted a virtual car cozy, a sweater the size of a car cover inside my gut.

You see, I had decided to put what was left of my dearly departed store into auction; all of it; lock, stock and vintage submarine lights.

Just like Daniele wrote about yesterday, (the timing for me was uncanny) it was time for me to call my power back to me; BUT the hang up was this: at the intersection of empowerment and the past; I kept meeting up with my old energy.

Like some goody-two-shoes a-hole who never forgets an uncomfortable incident; or an appointment; my energy would persistently meet me — right where I left it — back in Victim-Ville 2009.

But since I’ve changed so drastically since that time we were not a match anymore and it really started to feel like shit.

So I avoided going there.

I let the remaining items sit at different stores around the city on consignment, and I paid them NO MIND; because they brought back horrible memories that would instantly knock me out of whack, make me feel bad about myself, and force me to eat Fritos by the fistful.

Every fucking time. That sticky, stinky, shitty, loser energy met me there.

That is a law and the sooner we all realize that, the faster we can shift it.

Here’s how it works:
If you had a fight in a restaurant, the next time you go back there, the minute you give your car to the valet you’ll feel that gut-punch; because your energy is the guy that opens the door and greets you there “Welcome back, we’ve been waiting here for you .”

Shit.

How many times have you had a bad experience with the place that services your car, or the dry cleaners; only to have it repeat itself over and over?

I remember when I went to auditions back in the day; there was a big casting agent on Sunset who was nice as can be, but I NEVER booked a job there. After a while, my disappointment would meet me at the door with its Cheshire grin, making sure the casting session was doomed.

So if you meet your energy where you left it— how can you change that?

First, by being aware of it, recognizing that it’s your low expectations, your disappointment, or your painful past that is causing the gut-knot.

Also, time has passed and things have changed. You’ve changed. Right?

When you do that, you can rewrite the story, and while you’re at it you can make sure it’s a much better one. It’s the story of how you called your power back; how inanimate objects, buildings and even people have no power over you — and that you’ve moved on and left no forwarding address.

It’s easier said than done, it took weeks, but that’s what worked for me you guys.

I had a real Come to Jesus with myself (I’ve been doing that a lot lately) where I told myself that inertia was no longer acceptable. Neither was settling, acting like a victim, or being broke.

For Godsakes woman it’s been five years, the statute of limitations on powerless victimhood has expired! Round up all that stuff, take all your old juju off of it by remembering how good and exciting it was to purchase it in the first place, and SELL IT! Go call your power back to you and then be done with it!

Even though I seldom take my own advice, I woke up yesterday, the day everything was getting picked up, with no knot. For once…and for all.

The day could not have gone any better. It went faster, smoother and was more organized than I’d ever imagined. Obviously, my loser energy had flown to Vegas to cause some real trouble.

As I drove away feeling newly empowered, reborn, like a Phoenix from the ashes, it made me remember all the times that the energy that met me — was good. It does work both ways ya know.

So I’ve re-written that story, the story of the store and the flood, and in the new version the auction results five years later — are AMAZING!

So the end is where I’ll be starting from — a new beginning,  a fresh start.

Where does your shitty energy never fail to meet you? How can you re-write your story and regain your power? Do you believe you need an ending to have a beginning?

Lets talk.

Carry on,

xox

Oh God, pah-leeeeez don’t ask me to go with you, please for the love of all things holy go by yourself…

“I’d really love you to go with me to this car rally on Sunday”

There, he’d gone and done it, he’d interrupted my prayer vigil to ask me to do the very thing I was dreading: accompany him on an all day car rally in his newly restored vintage 1961 car —  the car of his dreams which he’d waited five years to drive — on his birthday weekend.

The trifecta of wifely favors.

Fuck.

I would rather have needles stuck in my eyes, walk on hot coals, or go to Disneyland with a bunch of little kids —on a hot day — during spring break.

But you see, I’m not a total ass, I had endured one of these rally’s in another car a few years back and It. Was. Torture. According to the rules of the Geneva Convention.

Every other participant knew Moses when he was a boy, the median age being approximately one hundred and seven, and saying I had nothing in common with their trophy wives who were hoping against hope that that Sunday would be the day the old geezer would kick the bucket – was an understatement of epic proportions.

I was sure I could not endure another vintage car rally, but in light of the fact that I am currently extolling the virtues of the book The Zim Zum of Love by Rob and Kristen Bell, I was forced to reconsider.

One of the things the book talks about is maintaining the energy or Zim Zum that exists between couples. One of the ways is through simple acts of kindness.

So I knew I had to suck it up…and walk the talk.

Fuckity, fuck, fuck.
He was so excited, all enthused and …happy; an emotion he hadn’t displayed in the month since our old dog had passed.

And did I mention it was his birthday?

So I grabbed myself by the scruff of the neck (not an easy feat) and had a Come-to-Jesus-Talk with ME.

You’ve got to do this so you might as well make the best of it. Try to have fun (that was my mantra all day) this means so much to him and it really is no skin off your nose to take a long ride in a cool car to Malibu for lunch. Try to smile, try to make conversation, try be nice — try to have fun.

In order to jooj up the fun factor I decided to be anyone but myself and play the part of a sixties femme fatale. I donned the requisite head scarf, Jackie O shades and attitude to get into the character of an International Woman of Mystery, someone who would have ridden in that car back in its heyday, and I’ve got to say, as corny as it sounds, that really helped.

That is until they let the air out of my balloon when they handed us the ten pages of “crazy clues and fun facts”  that were part of the directions to our lunch destination.

I would have loved to have seen my face — My eyes rolled so hard I almost did a back-flip

This was that most dreaded of all car rally’s: The Cloying Scavenger Hunt Rally where the navigator (me) reads the pages and pages of ever so clever clues to the driver in order to figure out which street to turn on or how far up ahead to stop.

Fuck.

I almost ripped off the scarf and glasses and went screaming down the hill, that is until I looked at his face. He looked so… hopeful, wanting me to just go along and be a sport, and I could hear the wobbly, self righteous Zim Zum between us calling my name…Janet…be kind…do the right thing…how many stupid-ass things have you dragged him to?

Zim Zum never lies; so I sucked it up, put on my shades, tied my head scarf and smiled; then down through the hills of Beverly we went as I called out clues and street names.

Try to have fun…just have fun. I kept repeating until it got easier.

The further we went, the sillier we got (truth be told he also thought this whole part was asinine. Whew!) Until we were laughing and waving at fellow drivers and suddenly I realized I was having a rally good time.

It turned out to be the perfect way to take his new baby out for a spin; and once we figured out where we were headed we just relaxed, chucked the ridiculously difficult list of clues, (it’s not like we were being graded) and enjoyed the gorgeous day.

Sometimes a relationship; a marriage; requires sacrifice.

Sometimes that sacrifice takes up your entire Sunday.

Sometimes you are reduced to wearing a disguise, I mean scarf and sunglasses, to make it palatable.

And sometimes, if you stop being such a stuck-up-bitch-face, stop thinking of only yourself and just show some love and kindness to your husband on his birthday — in spite of yourself you can have a whole lotta fun.

I’m always learning.

Psssst…don’t show too much enthusiasm or he’ll make you go every time.

Carry on,

Xox

There is a mysterious, indescribable, complex exchange that can happen in the space between you and your partner. You find each other. Your centers of gravity expand as your lives become more and more entwined. You create space for this other person to thrive while they’re doing the same for you. This creates a flow of energy in the space between you. This energy field is at the heart of marriage. It flows in the space between you, space that exists nowhere else in the universe. You can become more familiar with how this energy field works. You can develop language between you to identify what’s happening in the space between you. You can sharpen your abilities to assess it. You can act in certain ways to increase the flow. You can identify what’s blocking the flow, and then you can overcome those barriers. Years into your marriage, you can continue to intensify this energetic flow between you.

It is risky to give yourself to another. There are no guarantees, and there are lots of ways for it to fall apart and break your heart. But the upside is infinite.

—from The Zimzum of Love

New York Times bestselling author Rob Bell and his wife, Kristen Bell, explore a whole new way of understanding our most intimate and powerful relationship: marriage. The concepts behind The Zimzum of Love open ways for us to transform and deepen how we love.