He was adorable and sweet as hell, but not that smart and after a while I got bored. I needed some intellectual acrobatics.
Note to self. They can be pretty, but I need some MENTAL stimulation occasionally too.
He introduced me to jazz. He had accumulated the most elaborate vinyl collection of jazz I’d ever laid ears on.
Miles Davis, Coltrane, Mingus, and Brubeck. Hours and hours of rain on the roof and piano riffs. It was heaven, Eventually, I tried to introduce him to Sting, and Seal. Even The Beatles. But he wasn’t having it—so neither was I.
Note to self: I love to be introduced to new things, but I also love making introductions.
I like to call it Two-way-streeting, .
He was an AMAZING cook but he had no money.
And by no money I mean NONE. Moths flew out of his pockets on a regular basis. So, he’d rack up $300-$400 dollars a week of bills at Whole Foods on my credit cards — and I’d come home from work to a culinary masterpiece EVERY night. Unless he could figure out a way to make food that great on something less than the budget of a small country (he could NOT), we were doomed.
Note to self: I will do almost anything for a good meal. Except go broke. I can live on peanut butter in a pinch. But not in a cold cardboard box. Just saying’
He was king of the jerks, but so funny my sides still ache from laughing.
One day I was laughing so hard I didn’t realize that The Chump had dumped me. Ouch.
Note to self: Chumps are chumps even if they haven’t chumped YOU — yet. It’s just a matter of time. And jokes aren’t funny when they’re at your expense
One of my ex’s had such a great job and made so much money he probably owns a small country by now. But workaholics seldom come up for air. And by air, I mean the rest that life has to offer.
Note to self: I love ambition — but I also love vacations, uninterrupted dinners, conversations, and movies. You get the idea.
I was so nuts for a guy that one summer we took off for Europe, got Eurail Passes and trained around for a month.
Turns out some people don’t like sightseeing, or people in small towns in Italy who don’t speak English, or packing and unpacking, or food that tastes different — or trains for that matter.
Something I guess you don’t know until the excitement wears off and you’re 7000 miles away from home.
Note to self: Never leave the country with someone you’ve never spent 24/7 with. And learn to be okay on your own.
So it sounds like I had one hell of a bad streak (25 yrs) in the love department.
Au contraire, mon Frere.
I took those notes to self — gathered them up — and crafted the best man for me. And after years of tireless research — he eventually came around.
After a while it became clear to me that what I needed was:
Sweet and cute
Smart
open-minded
expert or aficionado at something
good cook
funny and kind
good job, mildly ambitious, but still lives life.
Good traveler. LOVES to travel.
Good to know, right?
You know you can do this for ANYTHING. What you DON’T want leads you to what you DO want.
I hear people, sure, bitter people, but still people who say that relationships that don’t work out were just a waste of time. I couldn’t disagree more! It’s not a waste of time.
It’s an education.
About who YOU are and what you like.
You know, invaluable stuff like that!
Carry on,
xox
