To all of you out there, and there are many, many of you, who are willing to be toast on your way to transformation—we are all in this together—and I applaud you with my crispy, toasted little hands!
Love,
The piece of burnt toast you’re smelling right now.
xox
You’re gonna love this essay by Danielle La Porte. I did. Keep reading and you’ll see why.
Then, Carry on,
xox
Just don’t expect crazy people to be sane (cause that’s crazy).
People are going to be who they are most of the time. In character, not out of character.
Guys with anger issues can complain about kittens and unicorns.
Folks who run a lot of anxiety will worry about the days of the week coming on time.
Positive thinkers figure that the train derailment saved them from disaster down the tracks.
Punctual people are punctual.
Sweet people are sweet.
Takers, take.
Givers, give.
People change and evolve. Breakthroughs happen. But hey…
Don’t expect crazy people to be sane (cause that’s crazy), or super emo girls to behave like stoics (did you think she wasn’t going to cry just this one time? Of course she’s going to cry. That’s how she is.) The guy who’s kinda wimpy? Well, he’s probably going to wimp out. That girlfriend of yours who runs on chaos like a truck runs on diesel? Ya, she’ll probably keep making choices that make chaos — she likes it that way. The overly generous soul, she’s probably going to be illogically generous and it’ll get her into some trouble — but most of the time it works. The friend who’s always late? Chances are they’re going to be…late.
People are — for better or for worse — generally predictable. An old gentleman friend used to say to me, “Well what do you expect from a pig, but a grunt?” Oink. Point taken. And, Eagles soar. And, you can rely on reliable people.
It’s useful to analyze the stuff of people’s character. Hunh. So why IS he such an asshole? Judgement is inevitable, it’s part of conscious discernment — but sometimes, it makes us a judgmental asshole.
There’s so much sanity to just flowing with someone’s predictability — their norm, their nature. Accept it. Forgive it. Just tolerate it; or peace out if you don’t want it in your life. But don’t waste too much time trying to change it.
All for Love,
Danielle
* Oh, bless you, The Divine Danielle LaPorte! We’ve been addressing this A LOT in my life as of late.
Surrender? My husband sneers, after devouring the book, yet remaining deeply entrenched in the shitshow. “Yeah, fuck that. Tell that to my clients right now!”
Meditation? Sure, whose got time for that shit? I’ve gotta run my mom to the doctor.
It’s the first thing you let go of—when it could be your lifeline.
Creepers? Broken hearts? Health issues? Money woes? She covers it all!
Take a look and then get out there and enjoy your weekend my loves,
xox
Yoga isn’t going to make you impervious to criticism — because criticism bites.
Meditation doesn’t make divorce less brutal — because divorce is rough no matter how it goes down. Green juice won’t keep the creep at work away — creeps like to creep. And prayer will not make your illness less intense to deal with — physical burdens are…burdensome.
For a lot of self-helpers, and juicers, and cosmic troopers who have been at it for a while there comes a pitfall — and you can trip into it on your first hot yoga class, or after ten years of regular meditation and fervent prayer. It goes like this: If I’m doing all this spiritual work, why does shit keep happening?
Variations include, but are not limited to: I’ve worked really hard to get my ego in check, why am I still so jealous of her?… I’ve had so much therapy, why aren’t I over this yet?… Been doing my abundance mantra for 40 days, but I’m still freaked about money… Take my supplements religiously, but I keep getting sick… I totally opened my heart chakra in that weekend workshop, but like, I still think he’s a total asshole.
Spiritual practice won’t stop shitty things from happening. Here’s the truly holistic picture: Life is full of shitty things, circumstances, feelings, emotions, and people with crazy-shitty motives.
You can still get your heart broken when you’re enlightened. Illumination doesn’t spare the body — pundit Jiddu Krishnamurti dealt with wretched migraines, the beloved Thich Nhat Hanh recently suffered a debilitating stroke. Tragedies strike. Tsunamis engulf. Life hits, heals, caresses, and batters every one of us — the saints, the do-gooder’s, in sun salutations, and in repose.
But this…
Here’s what soul practice does: It helps you handle the hard stuff when it comes. Every conscious in-breath/out-breath you take carves out space in your being for the ineffable mystery. And you really need to leave room for mystery if you want to stay sane. All of your dancing, and asanas, and sweaty finish lines are making it much easier to unfold, rather than grip and grind. The prayers, the declarations, the incantations… they’re an IV drip of grace, streaming into your nervous system.
Spiritual practice won’t make you super human. But it will help you fall in love with your humanity.
You get to choose your response to even the things you can’t prevent. When you’re down on yourself because you can’t get over it, when the Creepy Creepertons are on your very last nerve, when you’re tired of being tired, or your heart is in pieces…the best
self-help is self-compassion.
Danielle LaPorte
* I love, love, love this essay on attachment by the very wise Danielle La Porte – I couldn’t have said it better myself! Take it away Danielle-
The difference between being “detached” and “non-attachment.” And why it matters for getting what you want. http://bit.ly/1IXUa8V
Many spiritual teachings instruct us to be detached from the outcomes that we’re going after. There’s merit to that, but there’s a really important, sanity-saving distinction to make. It’s the difference between detachment and non-attachment. And it’s a big difference.
Detachment is hard on your heart — and it actually creates blocks to what you want. Non-attachment, on the other hand, is actually nourishing, and much easier to put into practice.
DETACHED is rigid; a bit chilly, a tad cranky; like an uptight intellectual, cut off from his/her heart. And here’s the thing, detachment is often a cover up for fear — fear of not getting what you want. Detachment is defending itself against disappointment — which is why it’s a bit bitchy.
There’s another way of wanting that’s both rational and faith-fuelled: Non-attachment.
NON-ATTACHMENT is open and spacious. It can hold your intense longing, and it can hold possibility. Non-attachment knows that some things take time, that you have to meet the universe half way, that free will is the guiding force, and that anything is possible.
As Michael Bernard Beckwith said to me, “Detached is, ‘I’m not playing anymore. I’m taking my ball and going home.’ Whereas non-attached is ‘I’m playing full-out, but I’m not attached to an outcome.’” Ya, THAT.
I’m a student of desire. I tried detached, I tried the chilly side of Buddhism, I even tried cynicism for a hot minute. But the desire fuels me. And the non-attachment is the oxygen that fans my creative flames.
I’ve looked at wanting from so many angles. I’ve talked to hundreds and hundreds of people about what they want and how they’re going after it. There’s so much mystery left to explore, but I know this in my bones:
You’ve got to want what you want with all your heart. Not just half of your heart, not kinda, not if there’s proof, or if it’s easy, or if the funding is there, or if the timing is perfect. Nu-huh. No halves. Connected to your heart — not detached from it.
Give it all you got, and then… let it go. Let it go up to the Milky Way to be worked on. Let it come back with an answer, a gold nugget, a breakthrough, an alternative, a home.
Thanks Danielle!
Xox
