“I’m warning you – I’m foul today. Stay clear!”
That’s what I did for years. I’d make that announcement as I walked into work; OR if it was the five minutes I had a boyfriend, I’d give the poor guy a chance to make a clean getaway.
I thought I was doing the kind thing—warning the unfortunates. That I was taking care of myself and others.
The trouble was, although I cleared the room of the usual, aggravating suspects, my path became littered with all the foul people who matched my mood.
Driving became a kind of every man for himself obstacle course of assbites. The air was peppered with f-bombs, the middle fingers flashing—and that was just inside my own car.
Going to pick up lunch became a contact sport.
Elbow jabbing, line cutting and tons of stink-eye. Never mind that when I got back to the office, the entire order was wrong. Of course MY salad was the one missing—oh but wait—thank God there are 5,000 packets of ketchup in the bottom of the bag even though no one ordered fries!
You get the gist.
After a while—make that many years—I came to the realization that announcing I’m a grade A, number one bitch today wasn’t helping anyone, least of all myself. As a matter of fact it was setting a horrible tone for my day, and attracting to me every other bad day haver in the greater Los Angeles area.
You’ve got to be smarter about this, I thought one night after getting both a ticket and a flat tire on the way home at the end of one particularly bitchy day. There’s GOT to be a better way!
And there is. It takes a few minutes and a bit of commitment, but I can assure you – it’s worth it.
If, for whatever reason I wake up on the wrong side of sanity, instead of just resigning myself to a day of disasters, I acknowledge the mood and then take a few minutes to shift it.
I’m not at the whim of some unforeseen force, I tell myself. I’m in control here! Ahhhh, that feels better already.
I start by putting whatever set me off into perspective. Nothing is so bad it can’t be fixed AND no amount of shitty is worth sacrificing an entire day. Seriously.
Don’t get too specific. First, take away the blame.
Instead, figure out how you’d rather FEEL.
If “he” pissed you off again, by breathing or wearing that face, take a minute to remember why you loved him enough to have him underfoot. Get back to that loving (or at least liking, place).
If you’re feeling under-appreciated, think of the last time you told someone how much you appreciated their extra effort. It was probably during the Clinton administration—too long.
You see, that stuff goes hand in hand.
You want love—be loving.
You want appreciation—show it to those around you.
You want a helping hand—be generous to others.
You want to hear “Thank you”—say it more.
You want more money – spend some. (Counterintuitive I know, but it works)
You want the cramps to go away (or the headache, or the sore shoulder) – take some fucking Motrin, and quit complaining.
I can’t tell you how many times I went into work first, all twisted with cramps, and after the oxygen had left the room and everyone was sufficiently aware of my agony – THEN I took the appropriate medication.
(That’s what happens when you live alone too long; there’s nobody there to scream “enough!” and shove pain meds down your throat).
Don’t do that. It’s not nice. Your co workers aren’t paid enough to share your misery.
So loves, during this stressful next couple of weeks, don’t give into your foul moods. Consider this a warning. If you do, the angry, stressed out crazies will magnetize to you and make things worse.
I can promise you this from years of tireless research.
Eat a chocolate chip cookie (or 5), take a walk and look at the decorations and the holiday windows, tell someone you love them (and mean it), say “please” and “thank you” and watch it come back to you.
What you send out into the world – comes back to you. It’s the law.
Sending Big, big love your way,
Xox
