competition

The Warmer/Colder Game — The Adult Version

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Did you like the game hide-n-seek as a kid? What about the 2.0 birthday party version, warmer/colder where someone guided you to your destination, to your prize, by yelling warmer! (closing in) or colder! (moving away)?

“Warmer…warmer…you are hot—you are on fire!” I’d hear those words over the pounding of my heart as my skinny little arms flailed around excitedly, knowing I was literally on top of the candy bar, box of crayons or whatever incredibly desirable prize lay just out of my reach.

Goddammit! I loved that game! I still play it regarding the things I want now in my adult life.

If I talk about a certain thing that I want or fixate on it like a dog with a bone, I’ll start to notice things just like it materializing all around me.

I’ll see the same scarf I love on three people in a week. Warmer!

When I was deciding whether or not to continue dying my hair, everywhere I looked were these chic women absolutely rockin’ their gray hair! Warmer!

If your neighbor suddenly shows up with your dream car in their driveway? Warmer!

All of your friends married to great guys? Warmer!

Once upon a time I fell madly in love with a very specific pair of brown boots but they were way more than I could justify so I convinced myself that I would just have to admire them from afar (which by-the-way felt completely unacceptable).

Several days later, in an act of Universal cruelty, a customer came in wearing the objects of my affection—those super-hipster brown boots. I wanted to jump over the desk and murder her for her shoes. Instead, I locked myself in the bathroom.

The next night I went to dinner with a friend in Malibu and as we walked from the parking lot to the cafe, there was a high-end shoe store along the way. In the window: those fuckingly awesome brown boots!

You’ve got to be kidding me! I anguished, then I remembered the warmer/colder game.
Warmer! I yelled, clawing at the glass like the ginger-haired, shoe-hoarding madwoman I was, listening to it echo into the cool night air. Warmer…warmer…warmer.
My friend kept on walking.
I drank too much at dinner and I remember leaving a big, red lipstick kiss mark on the store window as I whimpered over and over again, warmer…warmer…warmer…
My friend promptly drove me to boot rehab.

About a day, two weeks, maybe month later, one of my other friends witnessed my obsession with said boots as I screamed, Warmer! through the entire Century City mall after seeing them on a shopper.

“What’s the big deal?” she asked, a little afraid to get too close to me.

“It’s those wildly expensive brown boots! I would die for them!” I was panting, out-of-breath.

“They’re half-off at…”
I didn’t even wait for her to finish. I ran so fast through that maze of shops to get those boots, I set a land-speed record.
When she caught up with me I was holding the box close to my chest, “You are hot—you are on fire.” was all I could manage to say.

More recently, like a little over a month ago, I noticed a friend got published on The Huffington Post a few days after I submitted a story. Then another.
I was thrilled for them. Instead of feeling envy I knew my prize was literally burning under my feet, ( as a matter of fact, my own Huffington Post notification was sitting in my junk mail waiting to be discovered later that afternoon!).

And that’s the point you guys. You can see other people around you achieving the things you’re striving for and you can feel competitive, consumed with anger and jealousy (which feels cold. Colder!) —or you can yell Warmer! and realize that the reason it is all around you is that it is about to burst into your own reality!

Warmer! & carry on,
xox

Do You Dare To Be An Original?

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“When the personality comes fully to serve the energy of the soul, that is authentic power,”
~Gary Zukav~ “Seat of The Soul”

Do you dare to be original? To show your TRUE self to the world? To fly your freak flag?
Good for you. Most people wouldn’t dare. They’re too afraid of being judged and ridiculed.
So, they don’t start with a joke at their presentation speech, propose the “out of the box” idea at the meeting, wear red socks with the tux or joke with a client during a sale.
They dim their light. They blend in.

Most amazing, authentically powerful people started off on the fringe. Far from the numbing embrace of the center.
They tried the center. It was a bad fit.
Think Martin Luther King Jr., Sir Richard Branson, Steve Jobs and Lady Gaga.
Their actions and ideas seem crazy, they don’t act like the rest of us.
They are authentically, unapologetically themselves.
To. The. Bone.
The energy of their soul has a purpose. And they make damn sure it is fully served by their personality.
They wield incredible power.
They’ve never heard of the phrase: dial it down.
It wouldn’t occur to them to “blend in.” Lucky for us.

Being authentically yourself kills competition. It renders the concept obsolete.
There is only one Gaga, Apple or Virgin Air. There is only ONE you. YOU cannot be duplicated. You can be copied, and although that is supposedly the highest form of flattery, it sets off the BS detectors. We can sniff out the inauthentic impostor over the real thing ANY day.

“God is the water, You are the faucet.”
~Marianne Williamson~

I Iike to say God or the Universe is the electricity, I am the toaster.
When I first started the blog, the writing was very serious. Dry toast.
Serious spiritual writing. How original.
But I was just the toaster, determined to get the word out, so I kept on writing/ toasting. At one point last year, the electricity decided to amp it up, to tap into more of my personality. That must have been interesting, searching in there for the language. I curse like a sailor, tell funny stories, and I love me some sick humor. I assume it knew what it was getting into, but I was scared to death when I wrote it.
Spiritual humor? What’s that?
All that being said, it has made for a better, much more relatable blog.
I’ve said it before; and I’ll say it again. When you are fully yourself, and come from the heart, people dig that shit.

I encourage you to let your soul use your personality. See what happens when you remove the constraints. When you disable the dimmer switch from your light. When you dial it UP instead of down.
To steal from Brene Brown, who was quoting Roosevelt, it is DARING GREATLY. After you’re done throwing up from fear, it will feel empowering. I promise.
Dare to be an original. Your power lies there.

What ways is your soul using YOUR personality? I’d love to hear about it.

Xox

Comparison-itis

Comparison-itis

<p>“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
~Teddy Roosevelt~

It would be very easy to catch right now.
I haven’t been vaccinated, I’m not big on needles.
All I can say is; It feels VERY contagious right now.
I hope I don’t come down with a case of Comparison-itis.

Here in LA it’s easy to get caught up in “keeping up with the Kardashians” so to speak.
You can find yourself wanting a better car or a bigger home. The clothes, the shoes, the handbags…oh my!
Even youth. This is the land of young and beautiful people.
Here in La-La Land that over 40 crowd that succumbs to Comparison-itis help keep the plastic surgeons in their alligator loafers.

The truth is; comparing WILL steal your joy.
Because there will always be someone smarter, taller, thinner, richer, whatever! And when you chase them, you lose sight of your own blessings.
Believe me, there are people who want what you take for granted.

I’ve started my business course this week and it comes with a private Facebook page.
There are fellow students posting the amazing progress they’ve made and the epic insights they’ve had. They’ve completed all the assignments, attained magnificent clarity, increased their customer base by 60% and their income by 200%, and they are enthusiastically sharing it with our community, to great fanfare.
Let me be clear, school started Monday…it’s Wednesday. 

I keep reminding myself that when you re-enter the school system, even on the internet, you avail yourself to every “itis” imaginable.
I see Comparison-itis and his buddy Competetive-itis hanging out in our virtual Facebook hallways.
I remember them from High School and College. Funny, they look the same, they haven’t changed a bit…but I have.

Maybe it’s my age. I’d like to think its the wisdom I’ve accrued. Ha! 

Nevertheless, I’m an observer rather than a participant this time around. My latent competitiveness has woken up, but it knows how that story ends, so it’s behaving more like a sling-shot than an anchor.

These people are brilliant!
With their enthusiasm, they are gifting us with all the answers, and that’s the difference. They have the best sources and ideas, so their posts are becoming gold mines and I’m mining them every day to help in my endeavors.

I do see others in the comments though, that have come down with a horrible case of Comparison-itis.
I suppose a short bout is inevitable.
When you up your game, when you enter the arena, you can’t help but notice where you are in the standings.
There are the true Gladiators, and there are the newbies.
You can feel inferior or inspired. 
I pick the inspired.

Inspiration seems to be the Holistic cure for Comparison-itis.
That virus can’t stand up to all the fresh ideas.
Creative juices flowing and all the new ways of being and thinking are the anecdote.
Try not to look around and feel like you’re not enough, like you’re not doing it right, or “getting it” fast enough!
Become inspired!
If “they” can do it, you can too!
XoxJanet

Hi, I’m Janet

Mentor. Pirate. Dropper of F-bombs.

This is where I write about my version of life. My stories. Told in my own words.

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