asking for help

In the beginning of her book “Eat Pray Love”, Liz Gilbert finds herself in the middle of something she has no control over which is causing her a great deal of angst, worry, anxiety, and despair. In her case, a contested divorce. It has come to the place where it has the potential to consume yet another year of her life by tying her up in court, not to mention wasting every dime of their money on legal fees.

Are you guys with me? Anxiety? Despair? Loss of control? Can you relate?

She feels hopeless and out of control and while on a drive through Kansas with a friend, she expresses her desire to write a Petition to God, you know, to inject some Divine Intervention into a situation which seems beyond repair.

Once she drafts a copy in the car, she and her amazing and very willing friend, add imaginary (energetic), signatures at the bottom. “My parents both signed it!” her friend exclaims. “So did mine! And so did my grandparents!” Liz replies. “St Francis of Assisi just signed it!” her friend yells excitedly, pounding the steering wheel for emphasis; and the exercise continues for well over an hour raising Liz’s spirits and bolstering her resolve.

Later, still in the passenger seat of the car, she grabs a quick nap and is awakened by her ringing phone. “You’ll never guess”, her attorney from New York exclaims without even saying hello, “He just signed the papers!”

God, I love that scene! Because I love magic, and I believe in the Physics of Quests, clues, and signs, and our right to Petition God or the Universe to take the wheel on our behalf, and so it dawned on me that I should write my own Petition, regarding my own crazy brave,crazy, brave, batshit crazy endeavour, and send it to my tiny inner circle—my tribe—so I did last night.

“Just like in the book I’d love it if you could sign it energetically (or literally) and send it out to others in the aether, living or dead, and let me know who we’ve got working on this.
I’ll put mine at the bottom.

I love you all more than words can express.
xoxJ”

And all day the names of the signatories have been pouring in!
Lucille Ball, Charlie Chaplin, Jackie Kennedy, The Obama’s…
Even the Pope signed it! What??!!

I wasn’t going to share it but then I realised that you guys are my tribe too! Below is what I wrote so you can use it as a template for your own Petition.

Then, I had what I thought was a great idea! I wanted to offer YOU this: If you want to write a short sentence in the comments about something that needs some energetic surrendering—start your own Pettition—I (we) will add our names and the names of others to it and up that juju factor.

How about it? Wanna try it? What do you have to lose?

I love you all more than words can express!
Carry on,
xox

Dear God, Universe, Nora, Nixon and All,
It is now time for you to intervene and facilitate the making of this “darling” screenplay into a movie. I humbly and respectfully acknowledge that I haven’t the faintest idea of what comes next or how to make this happen, and I am well aware of the fact that if I attempt to meddle in matters this far outside my paygrade, well, let’s just say ‘I’ll fuck it up’.

I realize that you may have more pressing things on your agendas like Chinese and North Korean diplomacy, Syria, finding a great karaoke song and looking for other ways to demystify death, and that helping me to ‘mind my own business’ seems like an insurmountable challenge, but we’ve come this far and worked so well together—that I beseech you to try.

Please attract only those to this project who are lifted by its message. Let it easily find its way to the best and the brightest. May the making of the movie be surrounded by as much love, light, fun and magic as the writing of the screenplay has been and may those that lay eyes on it see beyond what was written on the page. May it live to touch hearts and soothe souls.

Thank you for your kind consideration,
Respectfully,
Janet Bertolus

Picasso
Diane Sawyer
Mike Nicols
James Cameron
Elizabeth Gilbert
Oprah
Gayle King
My dad
Tom Hanks
Rob Bell
Erma Bombeck
Dear Abby
Clark Gable
Eva Gardner
Frank Sinatra
Andy Williams
Bob Fosse
Hemingway
Mark Twain
Martha Stewart
Mama Cass
Stevie Nicks
Joni Mitchell
Cameron Crowe
Ron Howard
Bryan Lorde
Rob Lowe
Prince

I was reminded this weekend of a Petition to God that Liz Gilbert wrote as part of her memoir Eat Pray Love.

Her intention was to ask God to intervene in the suffering and dysfunction of her contentious divorce. She finished by signing it and sending it out into the ethers to collect the signatures of other interested parties, living or dead.

She figured that if you can stop the energetic animosity—it serves the world.

That got me to thinking.
I was hanging with a bunch of soulful, heart-filled creatives yesterday, with intriguingly varied projects and books in the works, but they’re no different from all of you guys with your projects and creations, dreams, hopes and wishes. Everybody’s got something in the works.

So I tweaked (okay I totally changed it, but kept the intention) Liz’s Petition To God.

This can apply to any situation you want to hand over to a higher power than yourself.

After you read it, if it feels right to you, “sign it” with your heart. (You can also sign it by putting just your name in the comments) and invite other parties to sign it as well.
They can be people attached to your project, people you know personally, people you’ve never met, people you admire…or in my case Robert Downey Jr. — it doesn’t matter, whoever comes to mind (you’ll, be surprised at who shows up).

Like Liz says in EPL:
“and I became filled with a grand sense of protection, surrounded by the collective goodwill of so many mighty souls.”
Hey, who doesn’t need that?

This is The Petition To Our Muses:

Dearest Muse,
Please intervene and help this project in any way you see fit, and even some ways that would shock and surprise me.
I have done my part. I have shown up, been receptive, chosen your words carefully, sat in the seat and done the work. Now it is your turn.

I recognize that you may be busy with other things like keeping the earth spinning in its orbit around the sun, editing the final drafts of Pulitzer Prize winners, and other various mundane tasks; but it is my understanding that you are focused on each and every one of us and our projects at all times (because times doesn’t matter where you are) and that you can multitask like a mo-fo.

It is also my understanding that when you gift someone with an inspiration, an idea; and that person, with your help, is able to birth that creative endeavor into the world — it uplifts everyone — and isn’t that what we’re all here to do?

Well, that and drink Sangria and eat fried food?

So therefore, it is my most humble request that you help me birth this project into its most splendid and kick-Ass physical manifestation. Whatever that looks like.

You have my utmost cooperation and my endless admiration and love.

I thank you for your kind attention,
Respectfully,
Janet Bertolus

..or late at night.

I want to start a feature called What The Hell Wednesday, where we marvel at the extraordinary things that happen – on a daily basis – in our lives.
Are you in?
Great!
Okay. I’ll start.

Over Thanksgiving weekend our old doggie had another seizure (two in ten days).

Since the vet was closed for the Holiday, and Dita seemed to recover in under ten minutes (tail wagging, ball in her mouth), we decided to forgo an emergency visit, observe, and wait until the vet re-opened.

On the outside that’s what it looked like we were doing, but on the inside we were freaking out, consumed with worry, thinking this could be “goodbye”.

You see, our previous dog had a seizure, followed by another every day, until we had to put her down. All within a week. My husband and I both have post traumatic seizure syndrome.

That night, while acting cool, calm and collected (for Dita), I laid in bed and awfulized, working myself into a tizzy (albeit a quiet one).
My thoughts were racing. Don’t kid yourself, you know how this ends was what that practical bastard in my head kept repeating over and over.

Fears greatest hits – on an endless loop.

My husband had anesthetized with pie. I was not so lucky.

I meditated. I listened to my tapes. Finally it got so bad I asked for help.

Please, you’ve gotta help me with this, I write about gaining control over fear, but I’m spiraling over here.

I must have pleaded for a minute or two when a very calm voice came through: It’s not like the other dog, they’ll be able to control it with medication.

Uh, okay. They can do that? With dogs I mean? They have meds for seizures?

It’s not like the other dog, they’ll be able to control it with medication.

But what if…

It’s not like the other dog, they’ll be able to control it with medication.

That’s all they said, exactly those words, over and over, until I calmed down and went to sleep.

A couple of days later, at the vet, after numerous blood tests and X-rays; as he brought the old girl back into the room, I KNEW what the Vet was going to say; I’d even told my husband.

“It’s not cancer like your other dog, we can control it with medication.”

I swear. Verbatim.

Asking for help, then listening for the answer=good.

Spiraling out of control=not so good.

AND even if things look the same, they are not!

What The Hell! I LOVE when that happens!

Now it’s YOUR turn. Please share your best WTH story in the comments below. I know everyone would love to read them – especially ME!

Big Love,
xox

Wanna Make God Laugh?

Turn to her when you’ve exhausted every other option.

When science and medicine can’t find the cure.

When all YOUR best efforts have hit the skids.

When you’re struggling with addiction, depression or grief.

Why is it, that when all else fails we say: Well, NOW it’s in God’s hands.

Maybe… it could have been handed over in the first place.
At the start.

I’m guessing that the Energy that creates worlds and David Beckham, can help us with our dilemmas.

How about you?

BTW: She’s not laughing AT us, She just thinks we’re a hoot.

Big Hugs,

*I also wanted to give a shout out and express my deepest gratitude to all the countries who have become part of my tribe.
This is a snapshot of the global reach this simple blog has had for the week so far.
Isn’t that CRAZY!?
If you ask yourself, I’m only one person, what can one person do? Here’s your answer.
Thank you Mauritania, Kuwait and Algeria, you’re new viewers this week. Welcome.
I LOVE you all SO MUCH! Thank you!
xox

United States 1,358
Philippines 95
United Kingdom 45
Australia 25
Canada 23
Sri Lanka 10
France 9
Brazil 8
Ireland 7
Kuwait 7
Saudi Arabia 7
Bangladesh 5
Pakistan 5
Germany 5
United Arab Emirates 5
Russian Federation 4
South Africa 4
Guatemala 4
Mauritania 3
India 3
Portugal 2
Italy 2
Algeria 2
Greece 2
Mexico 2
Poland 2
Switzerland 1
Sweden 1
Luxembourg 1
Norway 1
Netherlands 1
Iceland 1
Indonesia 1
Venezuela 1
Turkey 1
Romania 1
Japan 1
Colombia 1
Liberia 1
Morocco 1
Kenya 1
Malaysia 1
Austria 1

I can’t remember where or when I first heard this pearl of wisdom. It really resonated with me, and I continue to carry it around, in that invisible hiding place where we keep those things that get us out of our emotional “jams”.

If you’re like me, and from your emails, I know you are! I can get mired in a swirling eddy of despair, playing my “Greatest Hits” tape of worry, on an endless loop, with the best of ’em.

My mistake was always that I thought I needed to be stoic, to present a facade to the world that said, “Hey, I’ve got this handled”!
Besides, who wants to hear my bitch list? People have their own problems, I don’t want to bring anybody down.
And…I know how this stuff works. If I spend TOO much time in the energy of the problem, I’m nowhere near the solution.

Worry really is a sport best practiced alone. It does it’s finest work in the dark wee hours of the morning, or driving alone in the car. And…It cannot survive the scrutiny of someone’s else’s questioning. Remember that!

The BEST way NOT TO WORRY ALONE is to confess your worry to someone that is equipped to help, meaning, if it is regarding your health, a doctor. Don’t go on the internet!! You KNOW what I mean, enough said!
If it’s about leaving your job, then seek counsel in a friend who’s been through that.
If it’s money, speak to someone who’s financial situation you admire.
Ask questions, seek answers.

Here’s the deal, you can worry aloud to a girlfriend, I did last weekend, and it really helped. But that was a self confidence demon, and girlfriends are the best for that!
For the other stuff, you can’t find REAL relief from the worry, unless you speak it to someone that has the knowledge that can put your mind at rest.

We all spend hundreds of wasted hours worrying alone about things that can be easily worked out. So I’ve given myself a “worry window” and you can too.
I’m allowed to worry silently, stoically and alone, with only my own limited resources at my disposal, for 36 hrs. 
Then I go and ask for help.

Often, I just ask the Universe to tell me what’s next, and it takes pity on my poor sweaty, sleepless soul, and sends someone. They will mercifully call, or show up with the answers I need.

I’m working on cutting out that middle 36 hour part.
Old habits are hard to break!

XoxJanet