archetypes

“WOMEN WILL NOT THRIVE IF THE COST OF OUR BELONGING IS OUR SILENCE” ~ Jen Hatmaker

“MY dream would be if it felt like we’re all sittin’ around the kitchen table.”

If you ever come to my house and sit around my table, just know that there will be more food laid out than anybody has any business eating, there will be adult beverages for those who imbibe, and other means of hydration for those who do not, and there will be hours and hours of conversation punctuated frequently by cursing, snort laughs, various forms of hijinks—and maybe even some tears. 

All my favorite songs play in the background.

Taboo subjects are be broached.

Dogs fart indiscriminately.

Truths are told, maybe for the first time ever.

There are twinkle lights and candles.

Bullshit written on paper will get thrown into the fire.

Someone will quote poetry, another will sing a song they wrote, and dancing has been known to break out, mostly around the fun moon.

Chocolate becomes its own closing ceremony.

And time will cease to exist.

That’s the feeling I wanted for Croneology, the program for women over 50 that Geraldine and I cooked up this year of our Lord of Perpetual Isolation—and she could not have been more enthusiastic. 

“Women are dying for REAL connection!” she said, only without the exclamation point because she’s Canadian and they aren’t prone to such outbursts. But I am.

And THAT is why we compliment each other so beautifully. Reverently irreverent, we tackle ALL the subjects:

Transitions. Career, relationship, bikini to one piece, blonde to gray, all of them. 

Empty nests (grieve, celebrate, or both).

Adult kids who leave and come back (celebrate, grieve, or move).

Aging parents.

Eldership (What does that even mean?)

Our changing bodies (To HRT—OR—to not to HRT)

Sex after 50. (So much to discuss, SO MUCH!)

Knowing your worth, using your voice, living your largeness.

Don’t feel like a Crone yet? There are other names for women on their way to Crone. Is Autumn Queen a better fit? (Yeah, I figured)

What to do with unexpressed rage.

Menopause is not the end of your life as a woman AKA How to hot flash your way to an orgasm. Swear to god, one of our Crones does this!

And SO many other topics you’ve been dying to chew on with super cool women your age — and didn’t know where to find them.

Shameless Endorsement Alert:

“Picture a round table of women desiring to ripen into their full expression to the point of falling from the vine and becoming seeds for the next generation…such is the energy during Croneology.” — Joanie

Well, as you can imagine, when I read this I died. We both did. Here it was, our dream come true and written with all the best words in a way I could have never imagined. Needless to say, I could not, in a gazillion years, explain Croneology any better so I’m going to stop right here. If you want more details, dates for the next session, and answers to all your questions about me and Geraldine, head to Croneology.net

Just one more thing. If you’re a dude and you’ve made it this far, WOW and congratulations! AND, you may want to share this with the women in your life. To quote a previous Crone’s husband, “Whatever you’re doing Thursday nights in the Crone group, keep doing that.”

Need I say more?

Carry on,
xox

Myths and archetypes. They have always fascinated me.

The Hero’s Journey.

Liz Gilbert and Oprah talked this week on Super Soul Sunday, about the calling that everyone (yes everyone) gets to embark on their own Hero’s journey, and how women have no female role models to emulate.

Through the ages, the Hero’s have all been men; leaving us women home, waiting, keeping the home fires burning, and having the babies; so you can imagine, that leaves us no female hero’s for us to follow..
Think Luke Skywalker, Odysseus, Harry Potter.

I feel that less and less. the older I get. I know brave, dynamic woman who are on their own Hero’s Journey. I know I’m in the midst of mine. You could say I’m a late bloomer.
I stayed in REFUSAL OF THE CALL for twenty years, lost in the game, so I have a lot of catching up to do.
I’d say I’m in the thick of it right now, TESTS, ALLIES AND ENEMIES (see list below.)
I’d better get cracking’

I think that we are starting to see heroic female role models on the bigger stage; I’m thinking Malala Yousafzai in real life, and Katniss Everdeen in literature and on the big screen.

Inside popular culture, we can document our paths for the girls and women who follow, so that we leave a legacy behind for them: The Heroine’s Journey.

The Hero’s Journey Outline
The Hero’s Journey is a pattern of narrative identified by the American scholar Joseph Campbell that appears in drama, storytelling, myth, religious ritual, and psychological development. It describes the typical adventure of the archetype known as The Hero, the person who goes out and achieves great deeds on behalf of the group, tribe, or civilization.

Its stages are:
1. THE ORDINARY WORLD. The hero, uneasy, uncomfortable or unaware, is introduced sympathetically so the audience can identify with the situation or dilemma. The hero is shown against a background of environment, heredity, and personal history. Some kind of polarity in the hero’s life is pulling in different directions and causing stress.

1. THE CALL TO ADVENTURE. Something shakes up the situation, either from external pressures or from something rising up from deep within, so the hero must face the beginnings of change.

2. REFUSAL OF THE CALL. The hero feels the fear of the unknown and tries to turn away from the adventure, however briefly. Alternately, another character may express the uncertainty and danger ahead.

3. MEETING WITH THE MENTOR. The hero comes across a seasoned traveler of the worlds who gives him or her training, equipment, or advice that will help on the journey. Or the hero reaches within to a source of courage and wisdom.

4. CROSSING THE THRESHOLD. At the end of Act One, the hero commits to leaving the Ordinary World and entering a new region or condition with unfamiliar rules and values.

5. TESTS, ALLIES AND ENEMIES. The hero is tested and sorts out allegiances in the Special World.

6. APPROACH. The hero and newfound allies prepare for the major challenge in the Special world.

7. THE ORDEAL. Near the middle of the story, the hero enters a central space in the Special World and confronts death or faces his or her greatest fear. Out of the moment of death comes a new life.

8. THE REWARD. The hero takes possession of the treasure won by facing death. There may be celebration, but there is also danger of losing the treasure again.

9. THE ROAD BACK. About three-fourths of the way through the story, the hero is driven to complete the adventure, leaving the Special World to be sure the treasure is brought home. Often a chase scene signals the urgency and danger of the mission.

10. THE RESURRECTION. At the climax, the hero is severely tested once more on the threshold of home. He or she is purified by a last sacrifice, another moment of death and rebirth, but on a higher and more complete level. By the hero’s action, the polarities that were in conflict at the beginning are finally resolved.

11. RETURN WITH THE ELIXIR. The hero returns home or continues the journey, bearing some element of the treasure that has the power to transform the world as the hero has been transformed.

What do you think? Does this resonate? Ladies, where are you in your journey, right now?

xox