anticipation

This post from two years ago makes me smile for a number of reasons.

First of all, the audio. Come on! Hilarious!

Then because the adventure I refer to DID change my life, it gave permission to call myself a writer which then unleashed the Kraken, so to speak. And finally there is the fact that I’m marinating in a delicious gumbo of anticipation this very minute regarding the most magical project EVER—and I’ve gotten so much better!

Are you camp instant gratification or camp anticipation? Which one are ya?
Carry on,
xox

Anticipation. Anticipa.a.tion
Is making me late.
Is keeping me waiting.
~Music and lyrics by Carly Simon

In a little over four weeks I will be embarking on an exciting adventure.
It feels life changing.

Hello, I don’t know if you’ve met me?
I am the “Queen of Instant Gratification” so the anticipation is KILLING me!

To some people, anticipation is delicious, something to be spread on little toast points and relished.

My husband is such a person. He will create little pockets of anticipation whenever he can.
Looking forward to weekend rides with his buddies, his Memorial trip every year with his brother.
I see him light up when he talks about it or is texting the details.

He enjoys EVERY SINGLE SECOND of the wait.
It makes me laugh and roll my eyes, but I do envy him his simple pleasures.

Me you ask? Not so much.

Anticipation is torture for me. I’m THAT girl.

Spontaneity is MY middle name.

Come on , let’s not draw this thing out, show me the surprise, or tell me the secret. Get on with it!

Byron Katie says that anticipation is where fear and terror live, not reality.
I usually don’t disagree with her, but from what I’ve observed at my house, that is not the case.

Now if you’re talking expectation – I believe that about expectations. I’ve met fear and terror there. But that’s a conversation for another day.

I think anticipation is a lost art—and that makes me sad.
It needs to make a comeback!

I’m not sure I can lead the parade on this, but from living with The Grand Marshall, I gotta tell ya, anticipation kicks instant gratification’s ass every time.

What’s wrong with us? (Notice how I’ve lumped you in with Team Janet)

Why can’t the wait be great?

We want something, we buy it. We don’t save fifty bucks a month living on the excitement of the dream for a year.
Not anymore.
Shit. Amazon now has same-day delivery; they must have read all my emails complaining about the overnight wait. Same-day was MADE for people like me.

My husband. He’ll wait. He’ll look forward ALL WEEK to the Thursday delivery.

I want to be in his camp, I’m just not wired that way.

I do remember getting VERY excited when I was about nine and the one telephone we had in the house would ring. My dad would announce: Janet, it’s for you, and my heart would start racing. Who was it? Was it a boy? Thirty seconds of excruciating anticipation. Maybe that’s the cause for me. The point of origin for this particular neurosis?

HE, on the other hand, was raised in France.

They wait to see a doctor. The entire country waits until August to go on vacation, they even wait until after work in the evening to buy bread for dinner.

As he will patiently re-explain to me at least once a month:the feeling of looking forward to something is magical and must be savored.

Like a fine wine or stinky cheese, it gets richer and more complex over time. As each detail of the anticipated event unfolds, the feeling mounts; until, as I have witnessed with him, it culminates in a night before Christmas kind of giddy, sleepless euphoria – wearing a silly grin.

It’s impossible for me to maintain such a high level of excitement.

I’ll explode. My face will get stuck grinning stupidly, and I need my sleep.

“Are we there yet?”

I DO get excited, but it’s my nature to wait until the very last minute.
I just want the event, vacation, surprise, whatever to start, I don’t make a big Magilla out of the lead-up time. I don’t mark off days on the calendar to remind me how much glorious waiting time I have left.

But I just may this time.
I see how the other half lives and it looks…….fun.

I too want to wear a silly grin and become giddy as the days draw closer.

Let’s see how this goes, reviving this lost art of anticipation, shall we?

Are you in my camp or his? Do you relish the wait?
I’d love to hear your stories of anticipation my dear ones, they’ll help me!
Thanks!

Sending love….in a minute…..wait for it.
Xox

Wanna listen instead?
https://soundcloud.com/jbertolus/anticipation

DISAPPOINTMENT
dis·ap·point·ment
ˌdisəˈpointmənt/
noun
the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.

(I was looking for an appropriate graphic for a post about disappointment and this one made me laugh – out loud – that’s good enough for me!)

Disappointment. Ugh. That feeling in the pit of your stomach that confirms your most deeply buried fear, that that thing, person, or situation you want SO badly isn’t going to materialize.

Well shit. I know most of the world believes this:

“Don’t expect too much from life, then you won’t be disappointed.”

I’ve been guilty of lowering my expectations, afraid that they couldn’t possibly be met; so you can imagine my surprise when on occasion – they’ve been surpassed.
Not all the time, I’m still a member of the human race, but years ago I heard this quote and it gave me…hope.

“Disappointment means you are taking score too soon.”
Abraham-Hicks

You see, I am a HUGE score-taker. I invented taking score and clock watching and all that frustrating behavior that kept me tied in knots for YEARS!

The above quote changed everything for me.

I realized that when I didn’t see what I wanted, I hadn’t given the person or situation enough time to enter my life.
Sometimes it took years! But looking back – damn the journey was a blast!

And that’s the point.

I wanted things fast. Like yesterday fast.
But the Universe knew the best route to my desire. One that I couldn’t always see.

You’ve heard of Divine Timing? Well, it takes time to line things up. 

I needed to lighten the fuck up.

I could make the journey from want to fruition the scenic route, or the road to perdition.

I decided (and so should you) to wait with enthusiastic anticipation for the events I wanted to take place.
I cannot tell you how much that shifted the energy from fear of failure, to hope.

And isn’t that what we all want to feel about the things we desire? Hopeful? I do!

So the next time you feel yourself all twisted into a pretzel of impatience (been there, done that) remember:
“Disappointment means you are taking score too soon.”

It’s coming. Everything you want. It’s the scenic route, enjoy the ride.
Believe in Divine Timing.
Lighten the fuck up.

Love you,
Xox

Anticipation, Anticpation
Is making me late.
Is keeping me waiting.
~Music and lyrics by Carly Simon

In a little over four weeks I will be embarking on an exciting adventure.
It feels life changing.

Hello, I don’t know if you’ve met me?
I am the Queen of Instant Gratifiction so the anticipation is KILLING me!

To some people anticipation is delicious, something to be spread on little toast points and relished.

My husband is such a person. He will create little pockets of anticipation whenever he can.
Weekend rides with his buddies, his Memorial trip every year with his brother.
I see him light up when he’s asked about it, or texting the details. He enjoys EVERY SINGLE SECOND of the wait.
It makes me laugh and roll my eyes, but I do envy him his simple pleasures.

Me? Not so much.

Anticipation is torture for me. I’m THAT girl. Spontaneity is MY middle name.

“Come on , let’s not draw this thing out, show me the surprise, or tell me the secret. Get on with it.”

Byron Katie says that anticipation is where fear and terror live, not reality.
I usually don’t disagree with her, but from what I’ve observed at my house, that is not the case.
Expectation – I believe that about expectations. I’ve met fear and terror there.

I think anticipation is a lost art and it’s making me sad.
It needs to make a comeback.

I’m not sure I can lead the parade on this, but from living with The Grand Marshall, I gotta tell ya, anticipation kicks instant gratification’s ass every time.

What’s wrong with us? (Notice how I’ve lumped you in with Team Janet)

Why can’t the wait be great?

We want something, we buy it. We don’t save fifty bucks a month living on the excitement of the dream for a year.
Not anymore.
Shit. Amazon now has same day delivery; they must have read all my emails complaining about the overnight wait. Same day was MADE for people like me.

My husband. He’ll wait. He’ll look forward ALL WEEK to the Thursday delivery.

I want to be in his camp, I’m just not wired that way.

I do remember getting VERY excited when I was about nine and the one telephone we had in the house would ring. My dad would announce: Janet, it’s for you, and my heart would start racing. Who was it? Was it a boy? Thirty seconds of excruciating anticipation. Maybe that’s the cause for me. The point of origin for this particular neurosis?

HE, on the other hand, was raised in France.

They wait to see a doctor, the entire country waits until August to go on vacation, they even wait until after work in the evening to buy bread for dinner.

As he will patiently re-explain to me at least once a month:the feeling of looking forward to something is magical and must be savored.

Like a fine wine or stinky cheese, it get richer and more complex over time. As each detail of the anticipated event unfolds, the feeling mounts; until, as I have witnessed with him, it culminates in a night before Christmas kind of giddy, sleepless euphoria – wearing a silly grin.

It’s impossible for me to maintain such a high level of excitement.

I’ll explode, my face will get stuck like that, and I need my sleep.

“Are we there yet?”

I DO get excited, but it’s my nature to wait until the very last minute.
I just want the event, vacation, surprise, whatever to start, I don’t make a big magilla out of the lead up time. I don’t mark off days on the calendar to remind me how much glorious waiting time I have left.

But I just may this time.
I see how the other half lives and it looks…….fun.

I too want to wear a silly grin and become giddy as the days draw closer.

Let’s see how this goes, reviving this lost art of anticipation, shall we?

Are you in my camp or his? Do you relish the wait?
I’d love to hear your stories of anticipation my dear ones, they’ll help me!
Thanks!

Sending love….in a minute…..wait for it.
Xox

Wanna listen instead?
https://soundcloud.com/jbertolus/anticipation

I’m having that Christmas morning feeling lately.
Even if you don’t celebrate Chistmas, I’m sure you know what
I’m taking about.
It’s that delicious feeling of anticipation, butterflies and all, that you get
in the lead up, and almost unbearably the night before, 
but by early Christmas morning you’ve almost lost your mind, from excitement.
too much sugar, and lack of sleep.

I’m ridiculous, I know, but I still get that feeling every year despite my best intentions.
A cold and cynical Grinch I will never be.

It must just be in the air, because there’s really no excuse!
The actual day is almost 6 weeks away.
The real lead up is….well it did start the day after Halloween,
but I have yet to hear a carol, so it hasn’t started yet in my world.

This feeling is like the excitement I associate with Christmas, but I know this 
time it’s unrelated.
I’m filled with optimism of something wonderful about to happen.
Not sure of the logistics.
Just sure of the miracle.
Kinda like flying reindeer and a fat man squeezing down a chimney.

The Universe, or Source, or God, is up to something.
Doesn’t matter if we’ve been naughty or nice.
Whew!!!

She’s hanging white twinkle lights and making everything feel special.
The future is wrapped up sweetly with a big bow.
Miracles are afoot
All bets are off
The jig is up.

Are you feeling it??