The Great Lotion Debate OR How I Found Out I Was Wrong About, Well, Everything

Like many of you, I find myself crazy busy these days.

I’m currently juggling three writing projects, one deadline is contractual, the others self-imposed.  Oh, and this blog.

I love them all equally, so carving out the time to write them isn’t difficult, I just have to be careful. I can’t allow myself to get swallowed by social media, or spend too much time focused on my belly button lint. 

So it will probably come as no shock to you that  I’m about to waste the better part of an hour writing about the brilliant revelation I had this weekend—about lotion.

You guys, I’ve been wasting my life chasing the lotion with the most emollients to sooth my particularly dry skin, and I came to realize, this very Sunday, that my long-held beliefs had led me astray. 

Let me explain.

Lotions developed by dermatologists and used in hospitals – Good.

Argan Oil of Morocco – Bad.

I have friends who developed a cultish obsession with Moroccan anything. They have drunk the Kool-Aid delivered by extremely deft subliminal marketing. Me, not so much. I mean, what is Moroccan oil anyway? Not to be judgy or anything, but in my opinion, Argan Moroccan oil lotion can’t be taken seriously. It is the “Tiffany” of lotions. It’s curvy, wears bright colors, dots all of its “i’s” with hearts, and smells like something with an umbrella in it that I’d drink too many of in the Caribbean.

I tried the Moroccan oil products for hair once.
I have to say, I loved the smell but hated the product. It left my hair greasy and limp, kinda like my boyfriend at the time (cheap joke, I couldn’t resist) so I gifted it to someone I didn’t like at the time, probably my roommate. 

All of this to say. I think I need to be more flexible. Things change. 

Case in point: I sucked it up and bought this Argan of Morocco oil for about a buck at a drug store that was closing. I was down to the last few drops of my serious, dermatologist recommended, hospital tested, and of course fragrance free (because everyone knows a serious lotion can’t smell good. That would distract from how serious it’s taking itself) REAL lotion, so I thought to myself, Self, buy the slutty lotion, it’s only a dollar so no big whoop when it disappoints me—which it will.

Can I just go on record here? This Argan wtf of Morocco kicked my serious, over-tested, under-fragranced lotion’s ass!

There are SO many things about it that blew my mind!

1) It under promised and overperformed. I like that in food, men, friends, and as I found out this weekend—lotion. 

2) It says it’s Extra Hydrating but OMG! I can’t even! I’m still hydrated THE NEXT DAY which the serious lotion says it does…but it doesn’t.

3) It smells like if unicorns and puppies slept on your pillow after bathing in compliments, marshmallow, and laughter—all the good things in life. 

All this to say, I have been bamboozled by clinical testing when all of these years I should have just slathered myself in the luxurious decadence of Moroccan Oil!

 How many other wonders of the world has my judgy as fuckness kept me from? Huh?

I’ve got to go write some serious shit now, but only after I go on Amazon and buy a case of my new favorite thing. (BTW this is a totally free endorsement —just consider it a gift from me—to you.

Carry on,
xox