My Mind Is A Kitchen Junk Drawer

Where are my dark lensed sunglasses? I have other pairs but those are the ones that have the really dark lenses that help render me completely incognito (in my imagination).

I love them and I can’t find them. The last time I saw them was…well if I knew THAT! Anyway, I remember having them at the Post Office…

I still have Forever stamps, right? I mean, are the Christmas themed stamps I still have in my wallet this first week of March, are they Forever stamps? I should go look.
Where’s my wallet? Which pocket do I keep my stamps in? The side or the…

Wait. There’s that card from the dentist. First I need to call the dentist. When I was there last they wanted me to replace a crown. I can’t call them today! I don’t have the bandwidth for that! I need to eat something bad or have a cocktail first. I need to emotionally prepare. It’s the dentist!

That’s it. Wallet back in purse and…wait a sec…is that the charger I’ve been looking for? Damn! Wait. Is it the one from my old iPhone 6 or the one from my new iPhone 8? I’m going to have to fish it our to check the end and…hello! Where have you been MAC lipgloss? I thought I left you in the car we sold in January. I’ve been mourning your loss and you’ve been here all along you sneaky monkey.

God, I love this color. What’s it called? Bountiful? Beautiful? Bouncy Full?

I hope they don’t discontinue it. Everything I love gets discontinued. I mean, that Donna Karan perfume back in the 90’s that was my “signature scent” and was discontinued even though it was perpetually sold out. Why do companies do that? They force us to go all “black market” and buy our discontinued cosmetics from questionable vagrants on shady street corners. Maybe that’s just me…

Oh, Oh, I meant to go ask those guys on the corner how long their construction project is going to last. It has something to do with the sewer system so the neighborhood continuously smells like poop. And not even dog poop which is vile enough, but people poop which takes noxious fumes to a whole new level. I have to burn a candle 24/7 so I don’t vomit in my mouth.

Has anyone seen the matches?

Carry on,
xox