Squirrel Repellant is Worse Than The Election

Hey there,

Tiny rant…

I’m so freakin’ over this election! Who’s with me?

Dear Buddha, I want my peace of mind back. I don’t want to hear about walls, deportation forces, emails, hacks, or the “fixing” of anything.

I am currently on the lookout for my wisdom, serenity and divine nature. If you see them, will you tell them I’ll leave the light on for ’em?

As for the hat…who doesn’t love an acorn hat?

Which brings me to other breaking news: I have squirrels who love to bury their peanuts (don’t ask), in my planters so I sprayed squirrel repellant on some newly planted flowers today so they’ll stay inside of the pots for a change.

Word to the wise: Always smell the repellent before you spray it liberally around your garden. 

This stuff smells like the nastiest dog fart mixed with the smelliest teenage feet, with just a hint of Uncle Bill’s breath after a Hoagie—and a big fat cigar. Needless to say, it is some serious stank.

But they were right. I haven’t seen a squirrel all afternoon. I have also not been able to go out back without gagging.

Just another day in my glamorous life!

Carry on,
xox