Do You Want To Sleep? Or Poop?

“We are here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”
~W.H. Auden

Mixed messages. Crossed signals. Conflicting desires. Two completely separate intentions.

I do that. A lot.

I bake delectable goodies when I’m on a diet.
I wish for solitude in a crowd…and vice-versa.
I look at larger homes as I downsize my life.
I swing for the fences and then quiver with self-doubt under the bed.

I want to sleep, write, eat, accept my Academy Award, talk and poop all in the same night.

I send out my mixed messages to the universe and then I wonder why I get shit.

But who doesn’t do that, right?

All of this shit has lead me to a new habit of self-examination, because, well, because life was getting messy. And I’ve got to tell you, I do not function well ankle deep in What the hell just happened?

Poop can be a catalyst. It certainly has been for me.

When I can’t make head’s or tails out of the shit-storm that is my life, I stop and ask myself: What were your intentions? And inevitably, without fail, I realize in retrospect (always in retrospect goddammit), that they were confused, mixed.

In other words, a sleeping pill and a laxative—at the same time.

So, next time you’re at a crossroads and it’s time to make a decision, ask yourself: Do you want to sleep, or poop?

Carry on,
xox

“If you could kick the person in the pants who was responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
~Theadore Roosevelt