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Bergdorfs and Fritos In Heaven

Bergdorfs and Fritos In Heaven

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What do you think waits for us in the afterlife?

Being that I was jeweler for over eighteen years, I imagined the afterlife, or heaven, to be the stunningly gorgeous and meticulously curated Jewelry Salon on the ground floor of Bergdorf Goodman in NYC, where all by my lonesome I could wander the aisles, open the cases, and wear whatever the hell I wanted — while wearing sweatpants.

I’ve raised the bar since then.
Now I envision my ass on a motorcycle, riding through some green, hilly countryside on my way to lunch where I will consume copious amounts of warm, freshly baked bread, and cheese stuffed deep-fried zucchini flowers. Oh, and wine. Lots and lots of room temperature Montepulciano D’Abruzzo.

What do you think about this?
In the screenplay I’m writing, one of the heroines of the story (the dead one), paints a picture of a place not too dissimilar to where we are now.

One of the really cool attributes of her heaven, or afterlife, is the fact that you carry around in your pockets some of your favorite snacks. For example, she has a never-ending supply of Fritos corn chips in her jacket pocket, her friend carries with him at all times — a bottle of Sriracha sauce.

I can’t decide what my pockets would hold. One day I’m sure it would be dark chocolate covered… anything, the next day, lemon cake from this little cafe in Italy.

I’m hoping that the afterlife is a place where changing your mind is not only accepted but revered.

THAT would be HEAVEN to me!

So I’m asking YOU, my tribe, because I want more insight into you and what YOU believe,
What does the afterlife look like to you? Or what do you imagine it to be like?
AND, OR, because I know you are not a group that likes to comment,

What snacks would be in YOUR pockets in Heaven?

Thanks, and Love you guys,
xox

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24 February 2016/ by jbertolus/ in advice, awakening, awareness, blogger humor, funny, guidance, humor, inspirational, spiritual, Spiritual Humor, Spiritualtherapy, stories, Uncategorized, writer, writing/ 12 Comments

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Written by jbertolus


Website: http://theobserversvoice.com

Eenie, Meanie, Miny, Schmoe
Just In Case You Thought You Were Crazy...
12 Comments
  • Reny Salamon says:
    February 25, 2016 at 8:28

    Ok this might be a bit strange, but my thoughts of Heaven took me to a place of tierful malencholy…. I missed it so much. Not to worry, I’m not going anywhere yet…. Just felt the vivid purity and love. There I’m masterful at everything, no mistakes, only flowering lesions….. No painful heart tugs or breaks, simply gratitude for every experience. I am the purest Me. In my pockets are gobs of diamonds, ( I like shinny too) some 10, some 15,20,30 karats. When I pop one in my mouth, it instantly morphs into a flavor, texture and delight the likes of which we aren’t familiar with here. The food there enhances our experience a Gazillion times more, and is manifested for our sheer pleasure. Heaven on steroids if one can imagine. Leonardo da Vinci and I are having amazing discussions about creativity and manifesting in the physical, and laughing about , If I knew then what I know now.. In unison….Ha!
    Actually, all of this seems so feisable here…. Now….well, the pocket full of diamonds morphing might not happen in this lifetime….. Or maybe. Lol
    Thanks for the trip Janet
    XO

    • jbertolus says:
      February 25, 2016 at 8:28

      OMG. I love this SO much Reny! The diamonds, the flavors only known in heaven, DiVinci! Thank YOU, for the trip to your little slice
      of Heaven!
      xoxJanet

  • dominator says:
    February 25, 2016 at 8:28

    Ice cream!
    I know, it’s messy but maybe “Dibbs” in a refrigerated pocket. Heaven can figure it out.
    But in the meantime, the power that be (AMA, FDA, CIA, whatever…) should reclassify ice cream as a separate food group that is healthy and non-fattening. I would believe it!
    This life + Imagination + No judgement = Heaven

  • Laura says:
    February 24, 2016 at 8:28

    I imagine, heaven would have the transporter from Star Trek you know the “Beam me up Scottie.” Accept it would be “Hey God, I want an adventure in the South Pacific today, beam me there will ya?” I love travel, satisfying all my senses from exotic food, complex aromas, breathtaking views and culture! So luxury travel Conde Nast style. My pockets would be full of sweet and savory snacks, and I’ll join you for a glass… or two of Opus One, any day. Love this blog! Love you! Cheers!
    P.S. Shit I almost wrote “Beam me up, God.” lol… But life on earth is so fricking FABulous right now, Im not ready to exit, yet! ( be careful what what you ask for 😉

    • jbertolus says:
      February 24, 2016 at 8:28

      Oh, fuck! Opus One! I’m in, Laura! And the transporter from Star Trek! You’ve won me over! But if god could beam us anywhere…I say the rings of Saturn or the moons of some distant water world. Worm hole baby, that’s what we need a frickin’ worm hole!
      Love yOuuuuuuu,
      xoxJ

  • Les says:
    February 24, 2016 at 8:28

    Well, I guess we’ll see when we get there. But kind of like here would be nice; love the oceans and wonderful people – but flying sans machines would be much easier. And no Isis or that sort of thing. Or mosquitos. But it could still have eggplant and okra, even though I don’t like them, because some people do 🙂

  • Laura Rothschild says:
    February 24, 2016 at 8:28

    Bacon-endless supplies of warm, juicy, salty bacon! And the sound of the ocean and I hope Bergdorfs! What girl wouldn’t want to change her jewelry as often as her underwear? Limeade that isn’t too sweet, with a splash of vodka and conversations with the artist and writers I have always admired. And maybe a few with the people I never understood so I can ask them, “What the fuck where you thinking or doing?” Ahhh “heaven” it will be DIVINE! 😉

  • Sandra says:
    February 24, 2016 at 8:28

    Yep, pretty much my vision of heaven. Not to get all Jesusy, but he did say on earth as it is in Heaven. So sounds like you’ve got it right. And my pockets are full of fried okra and chocolate but on alternating days. And my favorite part . . . when we get there we understand everything. In the blink of an eye all the questions we had here are answered. Gravity, why skin turns to tissue paper when we get old, why our college boyfriend ditch us for that skinny redhead. We will have all the answers. And the best, best part . . . we won’t care. Love this blog. Love you. And so honored to be a part of your tribe honey. Here and in heaven.

    • jbertolus says:
      February 24, 2016 at 8:28

      Honey, I look forward to sharing the jewelry salon at Bergdorf’s with you!
      Breaking News from the other side: That skinny, redheaded college bitch did you a favor, and gravity keeps our skirts from going up over our heads ALL the time.
      Thank God for YOU honey! (said in a very Jesusy way)
      Love you!
      xoxJ

Hi, I’m Janet

Mentor. Pirate. Dropper of F-bombs.

This is where I write about my version of life. My stories. Told in my own words.

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