This is So Fucking True

Another one of my friends has fallen.

I know this is SO 2015, but at lunch yesterday my friend Eva was extolling the virtues of that book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”—The Japanese Art of Blah, Blah, Blah, decluttering or something like that. I haven’t read it (obviously), because surprisingly I lead a pretty decluttered and tidy life if you discount all of the birds nests I have displayed around my house as art.

I’m a thrower-awayer. I’m from a long line of thrower-awayers. We often throw away perfectly good stuff. Like men and food (I’m speaking strictly for myself here). Other times we wait until they smell—the food and the men.

Anyhow, she had me snort laughing my martini ice tea when she said, “I’m going through my closet and you know what I’ve found? I buy clothes for a life I’ll never lead! Like a white pencil skirt with a matching cardi set—and a hat, you know, for after Ascot”.

That is hilarious! And so fucking true!

Who hasn’t bought an extravagant outfit for an imagined date with Mr. Big? Or a leather jacket in a putrid baby poo-poo green because it was on sale and you could see yourself rocking’ it out at the clubs (what clubs?), uh, dance clubs? Duh.
I did go dancing back in the day but I can count the times on one hand and a thumb, yet, I have to fight the urge to buy clothes for that girl every time I go shopping. “God, she would look so cute in this” I would often say to no one in particular as I bought pants that were too tight and underwear that was too fancy for the imaginary girl leading my imaginary life.

Just like Eva, I had business suits for the executive big-ass corporate whatever I was going to be (which I finally donated to Dress For Success, an organization that provides low-income women professional clothes for job interviews), and a leopard bathing suit cover-up for those yachting trips with Thurston and Lovey Howell. Or Robin Leech. Or The Rock—if The Rock were to go yachting and invite me because I pretty much will go anywhere Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson wants me to go and I need to have the appropriate cover-up at a moments notice. Just saying’.

But seriously.

You know me, I’m a firm believer in visualization and scripting the life you want, but clothing it?

How about entertaining and feeding it?

I have ingredients for recipes I’ll never make. Ever. You want to know how I know that? Because the last time I opened that cookbook—I cried. I can’t understand a word it says. I may as well be written in Mandarin and yet, I still have an unopened jar of Cream of Tartar. It’s been five years, I suppose I should chuck it—I mean declutter.

Those fabulous ingredients for those fabulous recipes (not to mention scores of fabulous napkins and tablecloths, candles and drink swizzles), were for the incredibly fabulous cocktail and dinner parties I was going to throw for all of my fancy friends. You know, In that fabulous life I’ll never lead.

The parties in my real life are likely to be upscale Bar-B-Ques (and by upscale I mean we use stainless instead of plastic flatware and plastic instead of paper plates).
I know, casual chic, what can I say? We’re the new Kennedy’s.

The bottom line here is that for years, just like Eva, and I’m certain just like a few of YOU, I was buying for a life I would never lead.

And I think because of that book—the jig is finally up.

I can thank unemployment for saving me from my imaginary Life of Riley. I don’t have the disposable income I once had to feed that fantasy, but old habits die hard.  Just today back at Wasteland, (the scene of my miraculous tuxedo find), I was wrestling with my old demons.
They were telling me to buy the Narcisco Rodriguez cropped pants and the leather and cashmere sweater from Vince—you know, to sit and write my blog in.

(If I succumb they’ll be a lot more vlogging so we can capture all of the fabulousness on video).

And I doubt this is gender specific. I know for a fact that my husband has a couple of motorcycles, a few pair of designer jeans and some tight white t-shirts that will only see the light of day if they remake Top Gun and he is cast as Maverick.

Here I go, I’m going to ask YOU now. What life are you investing in—the one you imagine, or the one you’re living?

Carry on,
xox

https://www.dressforsuccess.org

http://www.amazon.com/The-Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-ebook/dp/B00KK0PICK