Barn’s Burned Down

Barn’s burned down,
now I can see the moon.
~Masahide~

Oh I get it!
Don’t worry about the loss of that beautiful, useful, building you’re still paying for,
now you have a view…
Of the moon…on the nights when you’re outside sobbing over your lousy luck and the shit the insurance company’s putting you through.
You can take a second to raise your snot covered face to the sky,
“Oh never-mind, that is so beautiful…now I can see the moon”.

NOT!!

I wish to God Almighty I could always be that enlightened in the face of crisis and chaos!
For instance,

Car got totaled,
now I can get some exercise…
How practical.

Or how about,

Husband left me,
now I can catch up on my reading…
Ommmmm…perfectly Zen.

Don’t get me wrong.
I love the message behind these spiritual sayings, 
and they really do give me pause to do a reality check, 
but honestly!
Who lives like that?!
Maybe on a good day.
It would have to be my best day ever!

I take it as a suggestion of an ending place, a place to aspire to.
Because, if I live under the impression that that’s where I should be immediately, 
it makes me want to cry, or punch somebody!
It may take me awhile to get there, it could take years!

If the proverbial barn burns down, I’m gonna freak out.
I’m gonna get mad.
And sad.
And scared.
Because in the moment, that’s appropriate.

I’m going to use every profanity known to man, 
in every language I can think of.
I’m going to use them often, and loudly.
as verbs and nouns and adjectives.
They will start and end every sentence I speak.
Maybe NOT so appropriate, but amazingly cathartic.

Then, only after the dust has settled, and I’ve had a glass of wine and regained my composure…
THEN…I’ll appreciate the view.

XoxJanet