Grief Reimagined

Do you suppose if a wound is real deep, the healing of it can hurt almost as bad as what caused it?
~Spitfire Grill~

As the anniversary of Sandy Hook approaches I’m reminded of 
how unbearable the healing process must be like for the family of the victims. 
Yet, every time I see or read an interview I am completely knocked out by the courage and resilience these ordinary people are exhibiting.

Grief is such a solitary emotion, NO ONE can make you feel better.
People can help you, 
they can feed you, 
they can sit with you, 
and even share their experiences, but ultimately you are alone on your path as you wade through that Valley of Darkness.
The darkness is tangible, no flashlight, not even a match to light your way.

Some days the emotions come in waves so strong they knock you completely off balance, 
on your ass, 
where you may remain for several hours…or days.

What I’m finding so incredibly uplifting is that these parents of the children and families of the educators that perished, seem to be able to let the light in.
They are getting up, and forming foundations and organizations in their loved ones honor.
They are having all sorts of dreams and spiritual visions of their kids,
And…they are letting the love flow in.

Ian Hockley, father of Dylan, who was one of the first graders killed last year, said this in a recent interview, regarding navigating his grief:

“So you’ve got to flip it around, Everything is about flipping emotions. Not hate, no hate. Flip it over. The other side is love, right? Take that and build, because once you push the hate out, the love just flows in.”

I just find that so remarkable and inspiring!
There is forgiveness in there,
There is compassion in there
There is so much courage it makes me weep.

He’s just a regular guy who lost his son,
He’s not the Dali Lama,
Or Ghandi,
Yet he’s made the choice, for his own well being to release the hate,
and let the love flow in.
And I’m convinced the world is better for it,
which means this tragedy was not in vain.

Xox Janet